But What About Me?

hi p..omg im ur biggest fun. anyways i have been haveing a problem w/ my bff. so im not really the friendly type i mean im nice n stuff but at the same tym im shy. i dont talk 2 ppl a lot. except 4 my bff.. we r really close n she’s a gud frnd. but lately its been kinda hard on me. A LOT. she lyks this  boy which is fine w/ me, so she kinda started hanging out w/ him n his friends. i didnt say anything cuz i no she jsst wants to b around him. so i understand. but now it getting worse. the last time we sat togther on the bus waz lyk b4 xmas break. she doesnt even no i exist when she around them. i tried to b in their lil circle but it didnt work out. they r so not my type. i understand that she wants 2 b w/ her crush but wat bout me??? for spring break we did not even spend a day together. she knows how i feel bout “them”. but she’s still choosing them over me. i know that she would not do that. i just dont know what to do because she’s not the kind of friend who does that. n im not gonna make her choose btween them n me. but i just want a friend…u no…..so can u plzz help me…
Phyllis replied:
I’m really sorry.  But this is an old story–two girlfriends are really close, and then a guy comes along….  Right now her world revolves around her boyfriend and his friends.  This is all new and exciting to her, and she needs the freedom to be with him and explore this, even if it turns out not to be right for her.  It’s the same way with a group of twenty-somethings after one of them gets married.  Interests change, babies come along, and friends who used to be very close have different problems and goals.  Please don’t mope about the sidelines and try to get her back.  Use this as a prompt for you to start expanding your own horizons, not necessarily with a guy, but in any way that you can spend some free time on yourself or others close to you: is there anything you would have liked to be doing in the past year that you haven’t found time for?  Learning a new language, a musical instrument, joining a sports team, taking voice lessons, getting involved in community theater, getting a new haircut, volunteer work?  This is “makeover” time for yourself, so that when your bff does come back to you, she won’t find the same-old, but someone who is taking off in new directions.  Don’t be surprised if you make connections with another girl who turns out to be still another bff.
Posted on: May 15, 2009


Twitter Phyllis on Twitter Blog Alice's Blog Facebook Phyllis on Facebook