Question: How can I get him to be my boyfriend, again?

I hope I can do this, but I asked because I am single at the moment and I haven’t gotten that kiss. I wish I had a boyfriend that would kiss me. I used to have a boyfriend for over two years and then we didn’t see each other for two months and didn’t stay in touch so once we saw each other he had grown away from me. I had a boyfriend for so long I don’t know what to do without one. I just broke up with my recent boyfriend, but now he’s dating my friend. I still love the boy I dated for 2 years and he used to tell me he loved me, but not anymore. We are in two of the same classes, but he likes another girl. We text eachother and talk, but it’s not the same as him saying ‘Goodnight. l love you’ to me. Can you tell me how to get more familiar with him again so that he’ll be my boyfriend and kiss me? He invited me to a lake once and he told me ! he loved me and we talked and now, to my hypothesis, he still has some of tha t old feeling for me. I feel as sad as Alice was in Alice Alone only my friend didn’t put up a suicide watch. I love him more than anything and wished he loved me. Actually, all of my wishes I wish that he loved me and wouldn’t break up with me. Alice always seems to get a boyfriend even though she says all those not so good things about herself, like ‘I have fat knees’ and ‘I’m ordinary and dry and uninteresting.’ , and listens to Jill and Karen when they say those things about her. How can I get him to be my boyfriend, again, and have him tell me he loves me even if I don’t say those things? You are the only one I can rely on. I really look up to you. You are my rolemodel and I need your advice as to how he will love me again. Thank you for the advice about the kiss by the way.

PHYLLIS Replied:
If anyone knew how to make someone love you, she would be in the magic business. There is no magic. Reading your letter over again, however, it seems that what you miss the most is the closeness, the tenderness, the kiss, the words. You didn’t mention much about the boy himself, which makes me feel that it’s love itself, not especially this particular boy, that you miss. This is just something you have to live through. It’s a good time to get reacquainted with yourself; what else is missing in your life right now that makes you dwell on the guy who’s moved on? How can you use this time, sad as you are, to brighten up yourself, try something new, sign up for a project, get a new hobby? There’s something to the old saying that people who are bored are boring. We could also say that to be interesting to other people, you have to be interested in other people yourself–your girlfriends, your neighbors, in community and sch! ool activities, in sports or the arts or something that gets you outside yourself. I can’t promise this will bring your boyfriend back, but it may make you more interesting to guys you haven’t met yet.

Posted on: March 26, 2009


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