Alice Blog

When a Friend Moves Away

Question:

Hi my friend is going to be moving and I was wondering whhat I should do to make her not so worried about it and more calm when I am like not so happy either I want to tell het things will be okay but I don't know if things will be okay...so what should i say to make her more confident that her parents made the right choice for her. If you could help me to what to say so she will not be so unhappy about it? Thanks!

Phyllis replied:

You can’t promise her that things will be OK because no one knows that. The best thing you can do is be a good listener, and assure her that it’s normal to be a little fearful of new situations, and especially new places to live. Remind her that she was once new to your school too, even if she started out in kindergarten. In fact, each new class in each new grade is a new experience. Teachers are different, some of the students are different. What you can do is assure her that she will make new friends the same way she made old ones, by seeking out at least one person she feels she can be comfortable with, and slowly adding another…then another….until….there they are, friends.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Ruin our Relationship?

Question:

Hi Phyllis! I have a really big problem; I think I’m in love!! I know it’s not really a problem, I mean…it’s hard to explain! Ok I’ll just get on with the story. This guy I’ve liked since kindergarten is always sending me these super sweet texts and one day on the bus, I really just wanted to jump on him and kiss him. I just can’t resist! I have a feeling he likes me back, but I’m wayyyy to scared to ask; I mean what if it ruins our very close relationship, that took 5 years to build? I don’t know what to do; I want to be his, but at the same time I don’t? Too confusing, right?

Please help!!!

Phyllis replied:

Surely there is a way, other than jumping on him, to let him know. Can’t you simply text him back that sometimes, whenyou read his text messages, you feel you are starting to like him as more than a friend, and this is confusing. Ask him if he ever feels that way. Then sit back and see how he replies and reacts. I think that will tell you if he meant something special in what he wrote, or if he wants to keep the relationship platonic.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Tips for Writers

Question:

I just wanted to tell you that I love the Alice books! I also wanted to tell you that I really want to be a writer when I grow up. Are there any tips you can give me? I keep a notebook and I write little stories in there. I read a lot too. Thanks soooooo much if you reply and even if you don’t thanks! For reading this, for making a website, for being so awesome, and for writing the Alice books!

Phyllis replied:

I wish there were only a couple things to say that would make you a successful writer, but–like anything you want to do well–there are so many things you must learn. Mostly you will learn simply by writing and challenging yourself to enter contests, to send material to magazines, to publishers, and by putting yourself in the place of the reader, reading your stuff over and over again to see what should be changed to make it more appealing, more real, more emotional, and that keeps you turning the page. You will find my book, “How I Came to be a Writer,” helpful, I think.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

It Hurt

Question:

hi:) well im a senior an i recently decided about joining the military. my guy friend who i use to like my sophomore year is going into one of the branches. he was trying to explain things to me an he sent me a message saying its my life do whatever i want an i started crying out of no where i dont know if its cuz it hurt me that i consider him my friend an he said that or that i still maybe feel something for him.

Phyllis replied:

I don’t think you’ve given me enough information to understand your disappointment and hurt. Reading between the lines, perhaps you told him of your decision and hoped he would help you sort out the details. Or talk you into joining his branch of service. Or recommend that you not join the military. You said that he was “explaining things to you” but it seems that his saying “It’s your life, do what you want,” was not what you wanted to hear. What did you hope he might tell you? That his life was somehow still linked to yours? Or that he had real concern for your future? I can understand emotions that suddenly erupt and I wonder, “Now where did that come from?” I suggest you ask yourself some questions, the first of which would be, “What had I asked of him, and what had I really wanted to hear?” Perhaps that will help you understand the disappointment.

Posted on: October 25, 2010

Funny and Embarrassing

Question:

i love your Books verry much!
Alice its so lovely and funny and embarrassing. I hope you write many, many books from Alice!

Phyllis replied:

I’m very glad that you like the books so much. There will be a total of 28 Alice books when the series is finished in 2013.

Posted on: October 25, 2010

Growing up with Alice

Question:

I just wanted to tell you that your Alice books are great. I’ve been reading them since I was eleven, and I’m sixteen now. I kind of feel like I’ve been growing up with Alice, since she was eleven in the first book, the same as I was when I read it, and she’s around my age in the books that I’m reading now. Your characters are so realistic and lively, it’s like they’re my friends, too. I like how your books include all of the regular teen problems, but you write them so that they’re funnier, and more personal, than most of the teenage drama novels out there. I love your writing style, and you have a way with words that conveys the personality, worries and thoughts of a teenage girl perfectly. Thank you for writing the Alice series, and good luck in any future writing.

Phyllis replied:

Thank you so much for your email. It’s wonderful that you two seem to be growing up together, even though I write three books for every year of her life. You just read the books faster, I guess!

Posted on: October 25, 2010

A Senior Guy

Question:

I am a sophomore girl and one of my best friends is a senior guy. We tell each other everything and collaborate artistically. Each of us cares truly for the other and is happy at everything they do.

Lately, I’m thinking we have stronger feelings for each other. I can feel it in myself and him. We were touching feet in math class one day — and it felt so good. Now it happens regularly.

We talk for hours some days, about really emotional stuff. I have the feeling that he really understands me.

It feels perfect.

Except for one thing: he’s three years older than me and is going to college in a year.

Would you recommend taking any actions? Or just leaving this relationship as-is?

♥

Phyllis replied:

It’s wonderful that you feel so close to this guy, and that you share so much you can talk about. At your age, three years is a lot, but it’s not a guarantee that you can’t fall in love with each other. Once you’re in your twenties or so, a three-year age difference is nothing. Because you have such a good relationship the way things are right now, I’d vote for letting him take the lead here. He’s the one who’s going away. He’s the one who will be meeting other people, having college-type experiences far different from high school. But I also think he might like to hear you say, “I’m going to miss you after you go to college.” But meanwhile, just enjoy his company and see where it leads.

Posted on: October 25, 2010

Changed My Life

Question:

All through life i’ve enjoyed reading. If i could find a good book, i’d be content. Somehow it’s an escape for me. It allows me to think. It’s too bad most teenagers put off reading, because it helps with all kinds of situations. I think it’s the way girls are, how they seem to read more than most guys. I don’t mean to be sterotypical, but I don’t know of too many guys who stay home to read a good book. Anyway, as i’ve gotten older, i’ve found a lot of books that interest me. I started really getting into reading after i read the Little House in The Prairie series and then came yours. Yours, yours changed my whole aspect on my relationships with friends and life in general. It’s pretty intense how books can do that to you. Thanks for what your books did to me.

Phyllis replied:

I’m delighted to know that the Alice books have meant that much to you. Thanks for letting me know. It made my day.

Posted on: October 25, 2010

Combined Books

Question:

Hi Phyllis! I wanted to ask if you will be doing the combined books like you did for Alice’s freshman, sophmore, and junior years for her senior year. I have the first two and pre-ordered the third. I also wanted to ask about Pamela. I relate most to her with how outgoing she can be with boys sometimes and her estranged relationship with her mom. I was just wondering if any of her experiances stemed from your own experiances. and also, I’m having a really tough time getting over and ex-boyfriend and my friends are acting like I’m being a baby about it when they do the same thing! I feel like i have nobody to listen to me about so what do I do? And I hope I’m not taking up too much of your time.

Phyllis replied:

Yes, the publisher plans to put the three books of Alice’s senior year into one big paperback also, once the three books are published separately in hardcover. We don’t have a title for it yet. And I’m still working on the last book of her senior year, so nothing can happen until I finish that and it comes out in hardcover. And no, I don’t have a title yet for that either. No, none of Pamela’s experiences were mine, but I can feel for her anyway in some of her troubles. As for the ex-boyfriend, I guess people always feel that their sadness is greater than anyone else’s sadness, and perhaps that’s why they’d rather talk about themselves than listen to you. There could be a number of things involved here, however. Perhaps they feel you’re going over the same old ground again and again and they’re getting tired of hearing it. Perhaps they’ve offered some suggestions and you haven’t tried any of them. Whatever, some people get a lot of benefit and relief out of writing about their feelings in a journal, or just a sheet of paper you stick way back in a drawer. Whenever you can pinpoint your feelings, whenever you can connect them to what has happened, it helps you gain perspective. When I’m facing a difficult problem, I sometimes ask myself questions out loud, as though someone else was telling me her troubles, and I notice what questions I would ask, what suggestions I would give. It’s worth a try.

Posted on: October 25, 2010

Your Feelings About Being Banned

Question:

I am an elementary teacher who is working on a master’s degree in media specialist. I was assigned the task of looking over a list of banned books, picking one to read, and writing a report. I was shocked when I saw Alice on her Way on the list.

I am also the mother of two children. My son loved your Shiloh books and we read them together. I read it out loud to my class when I taught 4th grade. It is absolutely wonderful. My daughter is huge fan of the Alice series. She started reading them when she was in the 4th grade. She really related to the character and couldn’t wait for the next one to hit the shelves. So I found her copy of your book and started reading. It is beautifully written. I am enjoying very much. I am more the half-way finished and I hate to put it down.

I am so angry that it is on the banned list. I feel that you are giving young girls and some boys very true insight to growing up. Kids are seeing so much about sex on television and movies, but not a whole lot about feelings. I believe that you have done a great job of sharing Alice’s emotions about her relationships and growing up.

I hadn’t read this book before my daughter read it. I never felt the need to censor the books my children read. I don’t regret that decision and believe that my daughter learned a lot from this book and the others in the series. I thank you for being honest and giving kids good information about sex, feelings, and growing up in today’s world.

I would like to know your feelings about being on the banned list and if it has had an influence on your writing.

Phyllis replied:

I have answered your letter personally to your email address, but I’m quoting your email here because I want my readers to know that there are many parents like you out there, teachers and librarians too, who truly want young people to have the books they like and need, without censorship.

Posted on: October 25, 2010