Alice Blog
Never Stop Making Them!
Question:
I loooove your books!!!!!!!!! I hope you never stop making them. I just got intensely Alice, and I can’t wait to read it. I have read allll of the alice books. Thank you for making books I can relate to.
Phyllis replied:
I hope you love Intensely Alice as much as you’ve loved the others. Thanks for writing!
I’m Really Mixed Up
Question:
Hi again Phyllis. I’m the one who wrote you yesterday about my first break up. Thanks for you advice, it made me feel a lot better. It’s just that right now I’m really mixed up. My mom is not being helpful at all. In order to get my mind off of —–, I’ve recently called a couple of my good friends that I haven’t talked to in a while and am hanging out with them to sort of relax my mind and forget about the break up. I told my mom I was going to hang out with one of my old friends, and she’s like “I know you’re only calling up these other girls so you’ll have more people to complain to. You need to stop broadcasting your problems to every single friend of yours and move on.” That’s not true at all! I just want to see some old friends so I can get OVER the break up and forget about it for a while. And my mom keeps saying that I just need to get over it, and she was all, “You think your situation is bad? When I was in high school, my first real boyfriend and I were together for almost a year and then I caught him making out with another girl. Imagine how I felt, and you’re crying over a situation that isn’t even bad.” It’s hard enough losing my first real boyfriend, and now my mom’s making me feel guilty about feeling sad. And she keeps telling me to stop acting desperate. It’s making this whole thing worse. But I do understand what you mean about his mom, and he and I actually did have sex. I had lost my virginity long before him, but his first time was with me. But we were always very careful and always used condoms and BC pills to ensure that pregnancy wouldn’t be a problem, and it wasn’t. My friend says that the break up might be even harder on him since he lost his virginity to me. But this whole thing is just a mess and I’m very confused and now my mom’s just adding more guilt to the whole thing, as if it isn’t hard enough.
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Phyllis replied:
It may not be the mess you feel it to be. The whole thing seems perfectly natural to me. Feelings are complicated, that’s for sure, and your mom’s not helping any. Perhaps she feels that if you can’t “get over this and move on” when the break-up was more or less mutual, will you be strong enough to stand it when you face a situation like she faced when she was young? Accept the fact that for whatever reason, she can’t seem to empathize with you right now, so don’t put her in that position. But I’m a strong believer in sharing one’s problems, and if your girlfriends will listen and offer comfort, that’s great. Meanwhile, you’re doing things with them, going places, and that helps you gently back into the wider world. Who knows if the breakup is harder on him than on you, but having his first sexual experience with you may or may not affect that. Don’t add that to your mix of worries. Stick with your plan of sending him a friendly email in a month or so. When your mom sees that you are getting involved in activities with your girlfriends, maybe she’ll get off your case.
Do You Choose the Covers of Your Books?
It Hurts Really Bad
Phyllis replied:
Oh, I know it hurts. It does sound like the mom may be feeding him lines, and I think that your dad is correct–your guy is probably feeling pretty blue too, especially if those were more his mom’s feelings than his own. But parents do worry when they think their teenagers, even mature teenagers, are getting “too serious” with each other. And they have a lot of right reasons, though they may have not-so-right ones also. Mothers of boys worry about the possibility of pregnancy, and that their son might feel morally obligated to marry a girl because she’s carrying his child, when she either might not be the right one for him or that this is just not the right time in his life to be a father. And even if you’ve given no suggestion that you’re about to be intimate, we all know how urgent passion can be. Your plan to just let a month or so go by and then send a friendly email sounds good to me. He may be worrying about how you’re taking this. And I think it’s perfectly all right to tell him, at some point, that it’s hard to have someone in your life for 6 months and then face the possibility of never seeing him again. I think that might be reassuring to him also, that you cared that much.
Absolute Pleasure to Read Your Books!
I Miss Her So Much!
Question:
so i have this huge problem. my best friend of nine years was really really mean to me, and so we stopped being friends. we don’t even go to the same school anymore, and i guess i should be glad that we’re not friends anymore. the problem is that i always find myself missing her a lot. even though she was really mean to me, we had so much fun sometimes. i totally miss going to her house and her nice family and everything. she probably misses me too, but it’s her that should say sorry, and i know she won’t. but i miss her sooooo much. what should i do?
Phyllis replied:
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions: Was this “meanness” a one-time thing, or did she have a habit of using you as a door mat? If it was getting to be a habit, do you really want to subject yourself to that all over again? If her treatment of you was mostly a one-time thing over a specific incident, is it possible there’s more than one interpretation of what happened? Is it at all possible that she thinks YOU are the one who should apologize first? If this is the case, and you really miss her, do you miss her enough to humble yourself and call or email her, even if it was her fault? You are the only one who can decide whether her friendship is worth taking the risk, or whether you should use your time making new friends.
Which Character I’d Like to Play
Question:
I’m an only child, a Catholic Christian, and I’m home-schooled. I’ve been taking piano for a year and have already written three songs. I love singing, but one of my absolute favorite things to do is to act. I’ve been in a few plays already – I even played Maid Marian in Robin Hood. Sometimes, more than acting, I enjoy writing. I’ve completed a rough draft of a book and I’m working on the second book in the series. In addition, I’m writing a screen play for a sequel to a movie I really liked – I just wanted it to continue, so I wrote it myself. (It’s not an official sequel to the movie – at least not yet.) I enjoy doing Irish Step and I have no experience playing baseball. So, I guess since my real life is most like Caroline’s I suppose I’d want a challenge, perhaps I’d stick my nose in a book and be Beth (the Weirdo), or maybe I’d enjoy being a schemer like Edith Ann. My mom say’s based on my closet and love of cookies – I’m actually most like Peter! But what dost thou think?
Phyllis replied:
My guess is that you could play whomever you chose, though you’d have to learn baseball to play Eddie. It’s wonderful to have so many hobbies and talents, and only time will tell what you eventually choose for a career. I was at a dinner party once with five other couples, and we began talking about what career we’d prepared for in college. And though some of us had actually gone into their chosen fields to start, every person there was now doing something entirely different. Life has a way of surprising us.
I Would Love to See Them On Screen!
Question:
I found this email address when looking for a way to contact you regarding the Boys vs. Girls Series. Please know that I LOVE these books, (the one’s I’ve read anyway), and I would LOVE to see them on screen. Can you tell me whether anyone is planning to make a movie out of the book series? I think it would be a movie all the kids my age (12) would love to see. I’m also going to email many productions companies and suggest they make a movie out of your series – and, if it’s okay with you – I won’t stop there! If necessary, I’ll get a petition started and distribute it to all of your fans, begging for the making of this movie. Can you tell I really want to see this on screen? My mother suggested a summer book club centered around your books – but I can’t wait that long to read them all! Please let me know if it’s okay to continue with my plan to contact the studios and send around a petition. Thank you for writing back to me.
Phyllis replied:
Wow! You seem to enjoy those books as much as I enjoyed writing them! Of course it is all right for you to suggest to production companies that they make a movie from these books. As far as I know, no company has contacted my agent about them. They would probably make a fun series, and the actors and actresses would have a good time too. Who would YOU be in the series? The overly-dramatic Caroline would be my favorite.
Note From Phyllis
Hello, readers:
I’m experimenting with the new layout for my blog, and will try to insert a photo showing you where I write my Alice books. A photographer had come to take some pictures for a magazine, but I didn’t know what angle he was going to use. As you can see, I tried to hide an overflowing magazine rack behind my chair, but the photographer moved over to one side and shot the picture. I didn’t even try to disguise the messy stack of papers beside my chair. I write the first draft of a chapter out in longhand on a clipboard. Then I immediately rewrite it, a little neater so I can still read it later. After the whole manuscript has been written twice in cursive, I type it up on the computer, then print it out and edit–type it up again, print it out and edit–perhaps three or four more times, until I feel it’s the best I can do. Then I send it to my publisher. The painting on the wall above the buffet is by the artist Marcy Ramsey, who does wonderful oil paintings, and has also illustrated many books, including my “Simply Sarah” series for younger children.
It Seems Like She’s Ready to Fight
Question:
I have a problem with my bestfriend lately I have been tired of her! It’s like we fight way more now days. And it seems like shes ready to fight! But I don’t want to loose her as a bestfriend! It’s so confusing! We have been Bfs since kindergarten and no one has come between us I mean I ahve other friends to but not like her! Oh yeah I love your books! But anyway and I hate when we get seperated like in to different groups or when one of us is on Vacation people say pretend her name is —–aww —–‘s gone and feel bad for me! Even when they are joking I hate it! Please help me
Phyllis replied:
I’m just making a guess here, but perhaps this is what’s happening: sometimes, when people realize it’s time to move on–like a person going away to college, who both wants to go and hates leaving his family, both at the same time–he sort of wants something to give him a little push–a little quarrel, perhaps, with his parents to help convince him that he’ll be happier away from home than to stay. Maybe you and your friend both sense that you’re growing in different directions, and that it’s time to add new friends to your list. Just because you’ve been best friends since kindergarten doesn’t mean that you are going to be alike for the rest of your lives. When you’re together, the two of you seem to pick fights; when you’re apart, you miss each other. Sounds familiar. It will be painful, but start taking short breaks from each other. Force yourself to do something or go some place with other girls and encourage her to do the same. If you can carry this off now, even though you might find you end up closer than you were before, it will help you navigate through other relationships in the future.