A Guy Who’s a Player

Question:

I love your books, but today I really just need advice. So a really good friend of mine was broken up with a little before xmas. She would always gush about him and talk about how much fun they have together. When he broke up with her she acted like she didn’t care, (like most of us would) but everyone knew she was hurt. I know your probably thinking GET TO THE POINT! but I need to say this part first. This guy is pretty popular, nice guy knows everyone, lets call him  Jake, so Jake is a player. Once again he has targeted a new girl, and now its me. I had a semi crush on him in like 5th grade, but I never told anyone. Once we were sitting next to each other and  his friend who I went out with before) said “you must like where your sitting.” When he thought I couldn’t hear. So and so said “ya” and they talked some more. When he firts with me I don’t flirt back, but I don’t snub him out either. If I’m with my friend and he approaches I make an exuse to leave. But she’s noticed. So today I was at her house, when she says “when Jake askes you out are you gonna say yes?”So I asked what she is talking about and she responded “oh c’mon you know he likes you, he always flirts with you, and always makes an exuse to be near you.” So I rold her she is just paranoid, but then my other friend said “he always flirts with you! How do you not notice!?”  I just told them thats just his personality, how do I tell him that i’m not interested. But if he does ask me out, I can see myself panicing and saying ya! thnx fr your help.

Phyllis replied:

Well, do you or don’t you want to go out with Jake?  If your girlfriends know he likes you, and you know he likes you, and you also know he’s a player and breaks hearts, what do you want to do?  Why don’t you just try being honest with your girlfriends.  Tell them you used to have a crush on him; admit he flirts with  you.  If you really don’t want to go out with him, tell him you’re not interested.  Most guys won’t hang around a girl who rejects him.  Is that what you’re really afraid of?