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I’m Not Allowed to Shave

Question:             i need some advice. my arms and legs are very very hairy and im a girl. im only ten years old though so my mom wont let me shave my legs. there is a product called smooth away though which we have and which does the job of shaving but without the pain but she doesnt let me use that either. i dont know to do my arms and legs are hairy and ugly and im not alowed to shave how do i get the hair away? please help mrs.naylor i have know idea what i should do.

Phyllis replied:

 

I wish I could help you with this one, because if I was your mom I’d let you shave or use a product on your legs.  Some cultures do not object to hair on a female’s legs, and some nationalities have more hair than others.  If your family has a product that removes hair, however, then it seems that other females in your family are allowed to use it.  Does your mom know how much you want to get rid of that hair?  Are you sure she doesn’t just think it’s a fad for girls your age?  I’m afraid I’m not much help, because my mom let me and my sister decide when to shave our legs and when to use make-up, and I don’t ever remember that being a problem.   So I’m going to ask our readers to help me out here: I’d like to hear from other girls who have been in this situation and were able to talk their moms into letting them shave their legs.  What works?

How Far is too Far?

Question:

 

I have been very sad latly, but not anymore. I have a boyfriend now, and everyone seems to like me. I get a long great with everyone. I wouldn’t call me popular, but I don’t mind, since I am extremly happy. Anyways, this weekend I am hanging out with my boyfriend like i do every weekend, and i think I am going to let him go pretty far. Not sex, but far. The problem is, I am ony 13, and have barely made out with a guy. so how far is too far? even though i relly like him, and trust him? Also, I do Marjuana ocasion. That’s what me and him are doing this weekend, and i was wondering, is it really that bad? i only do it about once a month and it is so fun! Alice has never tried it, but if she did (i know shes fiction but still) I know she would really like it. you probably wont answer this because it is a bit controversal, but i’m hoping you will anyways. I am a big fan of all your books, espessically Alice and boys/girls series. 

Phyllis replied:

There’s no way to answer your question because some things, with some people, shouldn’t even be begun.  Here’s the problem with “going pretty far” when you’re young and inexperienced: I dislike the thought of girls and guys getting sexually excited without any release.  Usually teenage guys figure that whatever feels good to them feels good to the girl too, and have no idea of what would be satisfying to a girl.  And often young girls don’t quite know either, and simply go along with whatever the guy does next.  I’m in favor of waiting until a girl and guy have known each other for a long time, can talk about intimate things without embarrassment, have respect for each other’s feelings, and practice sex safe, whether it’s intercourse or not.  And that the girl knows her own body enough to figure out what would be not only exciting but satisfying for her as well.    As for drugs, I just don’t see it.  I want to experience the real world, not a hyped up state of consciousness.  You wanted my personal opinion, and that’s it.

Where does she live?

Question:

 

was just curious
where does alice live?

Phyllis replied:

 

Silver Spring, Maryland

More Boys Versus Girls Books?

Question:

 

I’ve read some of your Alice Books and I love them. I also have read all of you Boys vs. Girls series and Ioved those too. I was wondering if you are going to write more about them and I was thinking if you are and you’re having a writers block I could help, I was thinking Coach Malloy comes back to Buckham and gets a job as a High school football coach, and they move into the Corby’s house maybe, and Caroline has an upcoming play and shes the star and she needs to practice her lines since there is a lot of lines so Bill & Danny help her and Wally sees that Bill & Danny is going into the girls backyard by himself and is curious. Then maybe Coach Malloy forces Eddie to be on the softball team because shes getting older and the boys will be getting tougher and Jake, Tony & Steve help her try to convince Coach Malloy that Eddie could be on the team one more year. Beth starts taking art lesson from Josh. While Wally is wondering why the boys are suddenly being nice to the girls. I was thinking that could be another book you could make for the Boys vs. Girls series. Anyway I love reading and I couldn’t put your books down. I don’t like writing very much I only like reading and math. When I heard about the Boys vs. Girls series I quickly got on the library site and I put a hold on you’re books, when I got to the library there were so many books I put on hold they had to get a basket and put the books in there and set them down at the bottom of the shelf. Enough about me lets talk about you what made you start writing the Alice books? Are you going to write more of the Alice books and the Boys vs. Girls books?

 

Phyllis replied:

I’m afraid there won’t be any more girls/versus/boys books.  I decided that twelve books were enough, but I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed them.  You have quite an imagination.  Perhaps you could work up that story yourself.   When I wrote the first Alice book, I just wanted to write about a motherless girl being raised by her dad and older brother.  But so many readers wanted more that I finally decided to make it a series.

Next Book?

Imagine Myself Inflicting Pain

Question:

I was hoping to get your input on something that’s been on my mind for some time now. It’s a bit different from the questions that you normally receive, so please bear with me. I’ll try to be concise.

Anyway, a few months ago I got really into a horror movie and a murder mystery book. For some reason, I think that those two things have been playing with my mind. Every once in awhile, I’ll randomly imagine myself being cruel to others or inflicting pain on them. For example, I’ll be sitting next to one of my best friends and laughing and joking with her, when all of a sudden I’ll imagine punching her in the face. I don’t understand why my mind has been playing with me like this. For one thing, I would never hurt anyone physically, and I certainly try not to hurt anyone emotionally. I’m generally a very gentle, passive person. I’m also a religious person, so I’ve been praying to God to help me get these thoughts out of my head.

Is it wrong that I’m thinking these things? Is there any way to get these thoughts out of my head?

Phyllis replied:

I’m not a psychologist, so I’m replying only as an “enlightened grandmother,” but I wouldn’t worry too much about an occasional thought like this and nothing more.  I can remember a few times a thought like that has flashed through my own mind and horrified me.  Here’s my guess: you are normally a gentle, passive person, as you say, and I’ll bet the next thing you think about when you imagine yourself hurting a friend is how she would react, how shocked and perhaps frightened or angry she would be.  A thought like this might possibly arise from self-doubt as to how much  your friends or family love you: Would she still love me if I did this?  What about that?  Or what about this?  Just like small children often test the limits of how much their parents will tolerate bad behavior, your mind may be testing how much a friend would put up with from you before she rejected you completely.  As I said, this is only a guess.  The next time your mind plays around with a thought like that, tell it to get real, and to quit punishing yourself like that.

I probably shouldn’t be Writing at Four AM

Question:

 

I probably shouldn’t be writing these sorts of e-mails at four in the morning, but alas. What led me to it is the fact that when I feel the most stressed, I look for comfort, and I think your Alice books are a bit like comfort food for me. I went back to re-read a whole bunch of books in the Alice series recently, after discovering that you had books about Alice in which she was older than fourteen. For some reason, I thought what I’d seen in my elementary school library was pretty much the entire Alice bibliography, but one day, hanging out in my neighborhood library, I was pleasantly surprised to find newer books. Since then, I made it a point to read your books again to remember what went on in Alice’s life as a refresher, and found myself growing attached to the anecdotes again.

Since it seems that your books are growing with Alice, following her up through high school, I’m wondering if you have any plans to follow her any further. I recognize that these books are written for varying audiences, from the 8-10 year old up through the young adult/teen, and that most of your other books (not in the Alice series) are also written with the same age range in mind. Perhaps it’s greedy of me, but I find that the more I read of Alice, the more I want to know or find out; I keep wondering what the familiar Alice will be like when she’s 25, when she’s 40, when she’s 85. Or who she’ll meet, or what will happen to her diverse circles of friends. Of course, the older Alice gets, the more mature the content becomes, and I wonder if that will or does affect your reasons for continuing or not continuing the saga once Alice reaches a certain age.

I’m also asking these questions from the standpoint of a writer of stories for young adults, because I’d like to know what your thoughts are when it comes to writing about older characters for a younger audience, when the audience has already been introduced to the younger versions of the characters. Do you think the audience is likely to be able to identify with the characters based on their previous acquaintances with them, or will the emotional development and thought processes of the characters be lost on the audience? When the character progresses rapidly in age in one single book, are the emotional changes too rapid for the audience to follow? If you don’t have answers to those questions, that’s okay; I don’t expect any one writer to know. I’m just seeking your opinions, if you have any.

Anyway, thank you for dozens of excellent books. Alice helped me through some shenanigans when I was younger, and her personality is a comfort to me now. I’m looking forward to reading the next handful of books in the series.

Phyllis replied:

 

I’m flattered that you thought of me at that hour!  Most of my readers know that there will be 28 books in the Alice series total, and that the very last book, # 28, has already been written and is waiting in a fireproof box here in my office to send in when the ones in between have been published.  In that final book, Alice starts out at 18, and each chapter jumps a few years, up to her 60th birthday.  Since readers have followed her this far–the very first book , “Starting with Alice,” introduces Alice at age 8–I think they will readily identify with her at  age 60 when her class gathers again to open the time capsule they once buried.  Most readers go back and read the Alice books again when they’ve gained some perspective.  As I get three books for every year of Alice’s life, readers age faster than Alice, but nobody seems to mind.  Best of luck in your own work!

Censorship

Question:

 
I am currently taking a class in Children’s Literature. I am writing a paper on Censorship on the Alice series. I was quite shocked that the series have been censored throughout the years. I don’t know why I didn’t know all along. Do you have any quotes that I should put in my paper? 
 
Phyllis replied:

 

What upsets authors the most is that some parents think they can dictate not only what their own child reads, but what the children of other parents can or cannot read as well.  They don’t just want the librarian to refuse to loan out an Alice book to their son or daughter; they want the Alice books to be removed from the library so nobody else can read them.

Questions: