Your Questions Answered

I See if She’s Flat-chested or Not

Question:
This is hard 4 me but im worried i might be bisexual. I don’t think of girls in the same way I think of boys but if I see another girl I useally see if she is flatchested or not or if I would ever wanna look like her. And if I see a girl sometimes I say “oh she has a nice butt that must attract guys” but sometimes my friends say that 2. I know it doesn’t seem like I am bisexual but it just creeps me out! But I have had crushes on guys before NEVER girls i’m 13 so I have a chest but i’m only 13 so there is probably more to come . And thats part of the reason I look to see if there flat or not it’s partly to see if I will ever have a chest like theirs. Ever since I read the alice books I have always wanted a bf like patrick because he seems sooo perfect! by they way luv the alice series
Phyllis replied:
 
Of course you lo0k at other girls!  So do I!  So do most women.   We’re always checking ourselves out  and comparing ourselves and wishing we had breasts or legs or a butt or a face like somebody else. 

Posted on: August 16, 2009

So Looking Forward to Alice in College

Question:
  Is there any possible way ( even if it’s really little) that you will change your mind and write more Alice books?? You know instead of stopping when Alice is 18 stop at 19 or 20 or  21??? ( 21 is a good age lol) I thought You had once said you would write Alice through college? Or did you say to the point of college? Because I was soo looking forward to the books when Alice was in college!!  PLEASE think about it!!
Phyllis replied:
 
I repeat:  the very last book, # 28, “Always Alice,” will take Alice from age 18 to age 60, each chapter jumping forward a few years to mark another highlight of her life.  It will cover her college career, but not as closely as the Alice books do now.

Posted on: August 11, 2009

Do All Guys Get Turned On So Easily?

 Question:
 
 
    I’m just writing because I wanted to say something to the NEVER BEEN KISSED girl that wrote about “Macy” and “Kevin.” 
 
    I just wanted to say that you really shouldn’t feel bad because you’ve never had a boyfriend.  Because neither have I. I’m 17 almost 18 and I have never had a boyfriend and I have never kissed a boy.  I used to feel like a dork probably the most around the ages of 14 and 15.  At one point I really just wanted a boyfriend so I could kiss him and have it over with. Now I know that you really don’t want to do that…I want my first kiss to be with someone special. Someone that I’ve known longer than just a couple of days…Even weeks for that matter. It’s sad that it took me so long to realize that friends that laugh at you or make fun of you because you haven’t done something really aren’t your friends. In fact now I only have 5 people that I can call friends. But I’m okay with that because they are the best friends ever and would do anything for me. Also you shouldn’t make yourself feel bad because you don’t have a boyfriend. lol. I guess it’s easy for me to say since I’ve kind of got that, ” Of course I’d like to have a boyfriend but I don’t need one to be happy,” attitude.  Well anyway I hope this will help at least one person that reads this. ( probably not lol)  What Do you think  P. N. ??? I think my only problem is that now the guys that I would be going out with are older… I’ve never really thought about it but now it seems guys aren’t content with kissing then holding hands or sitting with their arm around you. Now they want to touch and cuddle… This guy that I haven’t kissed was sitting with his arm around me and then tried to not kiss me but touch me. I was like uuum no.  So instead he leaned over me and then kissed me on the forehead.  I could tell that he was really sweaty. Do all guys get turned on so easily?  I’ve heard that guys that age only want one thing…I really hope that isn’t true but I’m starting to think maybe it is.

 

Phyllis replied:

 

Please, let’s not label all boys alike, a certain age or not.  It’s true that when hormones click in, boys get turned on very easily.  And though many of them want a girlfriend for show, as a badge of their attractiveness, just like girls want a boyfriend to brag about, most guys also want someone with whom they are comfortable, who can talk about things they are interested in, who finds them funny or attractive or smart or creative, and who takes care to make herself attractive but doesn’t spend all evening thinking about it.  But yes, I think you are right that to just want to be able to say you’ve been kissed is a pretty shallow wish, and one that, once you get it, may not be that special at all.  Why set yourself up for disappointment?   But then, maybe for girls who can think of nothing else, getting a kiss, any kiss, will let them put their minds on something else.

Posted on: August 11, 2009

I Don’t Have a Crush on Him!

Question:
Your books are amazing!! I need some advice so there is this guy I was friends with him kindergarten through 2nd grade and I KNOW I don’t have a crush on him but I keep thinking about him!!! Some people say I flirt with him well if I am I don’t see it!!! Anyway some people think he likes me maybe he does I don’t know we talk if were seated next to each other but other then that we don’t really mingle but every time I am trying to explain something to my friends that has something and I need a boy for example he is the first to pop in my head itz crazy!!!! I use to like his bestfriend itz sooo frusterating I try to keep him out of my head but he just pops back in but if I KNOW I don’t have any feelings for him why do I keep thinking about him???? Sorry i’m treating u like a therepist LOOOOVVVEEDD Intensley Alice by the way
 
 
Phyllis replied:
 
Hey, gals:  Isn’t it possible to LIKE a guy and find him INTERESTING or FUNNY without having a crush on him?  Sometimes we just want to be around interesting or amusing or intelligent or shocking people, not because we think of them romantically but because we find them fascinating. 

Posted on: August 11, 2009

They Will Pass

Question:
i just wanted to let the girl whose mom is ruining the relationship i had the same thing happen to me except like his mom succeeded in breaking us up. and i wanted to let the other girl who said shes going through a hard time to know that i use to get panick attacks and stuff too and then it got worse and i got “depressed” too and then i was told i was also a paranoid syzofrenic or how ever u spell it. so i know how scary panic attacks can be but just remember they will always pass and even though it seems the world is out to get you its not.

 

Phyllis replied:
 
We appreciate your letter.  Thank you for writing.
Posted on: August 11, 2009

Not my Favorite

Question:

So I read Intensley Alice and I finished it in 2 and a half hours! But I have to say it wasn’t my favorite it didn’t have much  excitement I mean I have LOVED all your other Alice books but…..this one I mean some chapters weren’t that exciting. like the soup kitchen part and when —— died I was actully relieved I thought it might be someone else. even though I didn’t cry, it made me see how lucky I am that no one I was ever close to has died. I was thinking about what I would do if that happened to anyone I know I would probably be much weaker then Alice was.I think Alice had every right not to believe that god didn’t exist.

 

Phyllis replied:

When sad things happen, it makes us focus on the big questions in life, and different people have different answers.   Thank you for writing to me.

Posted on: August 10, 2009

She Gets Back Up and Keeps Going

Question:

 

I have been a fan of your Alice books since I was twelve. I will be 21
this October. My first Alice novel was ‘The Grooming of Alice’ and I
simply devoured it within the first day, and begged my mother to
purchase the previous books. I fell in love with books because of your
Alice series. I have not gone back to them for quite some time, having
developed a taste for authors like Stephen King, Charlotte Bronte, and
Philip Pullman among others, though the Alice series, all of the ones
I own, have a cherished place on my bookshelf. Ongoing financial
difficulty has also prevented me from picking up the novels after
‘Alice On Her Way’.

In the past couple of years I have gone through some incredibly
difficult periods, things like my mother’s stroke and dealing with
Panic Disorder. I have felt depressed and had the mentality that the
world has it out for me. I’ve even lost interest in my most beloved of
all hobbies, reading. Just this morning, after having not slept at all
during the night with the heat Virginia seems to be getting lately, I
felt like reading. I went to my bookshelf, picked up a Jane Austen
novel, but put it back for ‘Alice Alone’. I had not read it in years
and felt perhaps a good cry would make me feel better. Within the
first couple of chapters, I had already smiled and laughed, something
that seems so rare for me lately. I read the book quickly and felt
deeply for Alice’s troubles, but when I finished, I realized
something: she persevered, she made it through the day, she didn’t
quit.

Even though Alice is merely a fictional character, she has always
stuck with me. She falls down but most important of all, she gets back
up and keeps going on. A year ago I felt I was too old for the Alice
series, but now I realize the lessons you have put in these books are
important to me and to any other girl no matter what our ages may be.
There is always hope, there is always tomorrow, there is always a
fresh start, there is always something and someone to keep you going,
even if you feel down and out for the count.

So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the series you have
written. I am going to hand these books down to my own children one
day and hope that they find the same enjoyment and important life
lessons that I have found in them.

P.S. I’m going to search my library to see if they carry the most
recent Alice novels! I have a lot of catching up to do and I am
looking forward to it!

Phyllis replied:

 

You certainly have had a tough time of it, and having gone through difficult periods in my own life, I do understand how sometimes a beloved book can help. I’m so glad Alice was there for you, and yes, you do have a lot of catching up to do.  Alice has grown up so much since she was “alone.”  Thank you for taking the time to write to me; it sure made my day.

Posted on: August 10, 2009

Never Been Kissed

Question:
hey, mrs. naylor. so i have a problem. well, not exactly a problem. i dont know how to even describe it, really. more or less i need advice because this is something that really bugs me. okay, so my friend, let’s call her Macy, has this boyfriend, we’ll call him Kevin. alright, so macy is basically my best friend. but she has her boyfriend, that his since the first time he broke up with her, continues to disappoint her. also, made her cry in the middle of class the second time they broke up, he broke up with her in a note. a note!! so anyway, me and macy are starting the eighth grade this year. kevin is going to be starting the ninth grade. so theres about a year and give or take a few months in between them. after kevin broke up with macy the first time, they got back together in about a month. maybe not even that long. so, i guess it was around the beginning of february, that she told me, and almost all of the girls at my party, that she gave her boyfriend a blow job. now, i was really shocked. i mean i had just turned 13, and she’s younger than i am, so she was 12. 12!!! i couldn’t believe that she would do that at 12. and then a few weeks later, he broke up with her again. then, of course, macy had another boyfriend after that, but he eventually broke up with her because he said macy was a whore and a bitch. then a month or two passed, and just a week ago, kevin asked her out again and of course she said yes. macy says she loves kevin. i stayed the night at her house about 4 days ago, and she was on the phone with him for a good 2 hours. the next day we went to the movies and kevin came. macy and kevin sat all the way in the back, and told me and the other people to give them “privacy”. so we did. we sat about 10 rows in front of them. halfway through the movie, she ran out. my friends and i thought kevin had broken up with her, but when we followed her into the bathroom we found that wasnt the case. kevin was fingering her in places that shouldnt be fingered when you’re 12. now, here’s the thing that really bugs me– i am 13 and i have never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been asked out. whatsoever. i know there are alot of girls in my situation, but i cant help but feel that i am such a loser. every one of my friends has had a boyfriend this year. or at least been asked out. even people outside my circle of friends has had that done to them, i see them walking around the halls making out with their boyfriends during passing periods. my mom tells me that i will get one eventually, that boys are a “waste of time” and “aren’t worth tears” and that boys right now are “experimenting and dont see girls for who they are. they only see whats on the outside; nice boobs, nice butts” or somewhere along those lines.  i have heard this talk time and time again. i need something who isnt on the inside of this to give me an opinion. am i a loser for not having a boyfriend when everyone around me has one? should i even be friends with macy when she drags her boyfriend around and brags about hickeys and blow jobs, and makes me feel like trash? because whenever i talk about this to her, she just says “nice.” or some other passive response. so, mrs. naylor, i would really appreciate it if you could answer me. and im sorry this was so long.
 
 
Phyllis replied:
 
Let me get this straight:  Your girlfriend gives blow jobs and allows a boy to get really intimate, and YOU feel like trash?  Look:  Macy has a boyfriend who is a year older than she, a ninth grader, and that makes her feel pretty special.  So she goes along with things she may not be comfortable with and brags about it because it gets her a lot of attention.  Macy is probably going to be in need of a friend when she gets to high school and her reputation goes along with her, not that being intimate with a guy makes her trash, but bragging about it is something she will probably regret.  I don’t agree with your mother that boys are a waste of time, but I’m not sure they’re worth tears right now.  Just as girls like to brag about boyfriends, especially the “hot” ones, guys like to do the same, and news gets around.  I doubt you would like to attract a boy like Kevin, but I can understand your wanting a boyfriend.  The thing that will make you most attractive to the kind of boyfriend you want is to help him feel comfortable around you.  One of the ways a boy feels comfortable is if you can hold up your end of the conversation and talk about things he’s interested in.  And the best way to do this is to join clubs or groups or teams  or activities that you enjoy, where you can meet both guys and girls who share your interests.  But expect that you, as all of us do, will have some embarrassments along the way.  You’ll say or do things that you wish you hadn’t said or done, but this happens to us all and is part of growing up, of getting to know the opposite sex.  I don’t think you need to give up Macy, but personally, I sure wouldn’t want to spend the night with a girl who spends two hours of the evening talking on the phone to someone else.
Posted on: August 9, 2009

Very, Very Sad

Question:

i want to say that i luv ur books n finished the whole serious in less than a
week!! i just wanted to ask if there waz anymore books after intensely alice
because i want to know what else happens….also when —— died it was very very
sad and i cried alot i feel like i know these peoole. all im saying is please
please dont ever stop writting about alice

Phyllis replied:

 

I know.  It was sad for me too.  You’ve read all the Alice books that there are right now, but look for Alice in Charge next June.

Posted on: August 9, 2009

He’ll Never Change

Question:
 
hey pn, i just wanted to say to the girl that girl that said his stupid mom was ruining there relationship that i know someone i know had a boyfriend like that that did what his mom siad for him to do and they didnt last she was hart brocken at first but she got over it eventually and i just want to say that if he is listening to his mom now on what to do with relationships then he will never change so i hope you take my advice to forget ride of him thx bye!!!
                              p.s. forget about him and if he doesnt want things to work and listens to is mommy then leave him please take my advice thanks
Phyllis  replied:
 
Thanks for your input on her question.

Posted on: August 4, 2009

 

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