Your Questions Answered

Pamela’s Pregnancy

Comment: Re-reading some of the later books, I realized a big problem I had with Pamela’s pregnancy plot. The fact that it could have been so easily avoided and in multiple ways. The first, of course, would be for her to tell Tim that she refuses to have sex without any form of protection or to simply tough it out, her being part of Guys and Dolls was not the end of the world and they could get together after, anyway.

The other ways she could have appeased him, and one that I’m surprised she never thought about, was to simply give him a hand- or blowjob. It’s not like Pamela had never done either of those, so she wasn’t inexperienced and she could have avoided the problem with a potential pregnancy. (And if her reason would be that she can’t touch her boyfriend’s penis, then I think she quite frankly shouldn’t be having sex to begin with)

Then again, I always did find it weird how the characters in the books acted like condoms were the only form of birth control there was around. Certainly, Alice eventually takes both the pill and uses condoms, but what about the other forms of contraceptives? Most might not have the same high success rate and addition of protecting from STDs like condoms, but it’s strange that they are basically ignored.

It could be that I’m simply confused, because I started taking the pill when I was 17. Not for the sake of protection during sex, but because my gynecologist said it would help regulate my periods, which were very sporadic and caused me to have heavy health issues when it did come around. Why didn’t Pamela start taking the pill when she became sexually active?

Phyllis replied: Thank you for your email. You’re right, of course; there are multiple ways Pamela could have prevented that pregnancy, assuming she was carefully thinking ahead and controlling her emotions. But there are also multiple reasons that an impulsive girl like Pamela would not. Do you ever watch Teen Mom? Are you sometimes surprised, as I am, that when these young mothers are interviewed—even though they have had a baby and are involved in multiple problems with the boys who impregnated them—that they admit they still only use condoms “most of the time” with new boyfriends, but not always? You seem to imply that it’s only Pamela’s boyfriend who was sexually excited. Can’t you imagine that cuddling together, touching and stroking, would excite Pamela too—that she might want sex as much as Tim? These girls would need a doctor’s prescription for the pill, and they wouldn’t be able to see a doctor unless they had a way to pay for a visit. And that would mean getting a parent’s permission, etc. We don’t think of all these things in the heat of the moment, and not all girls plan ahead. But your email brings up a subject that girls should think about before they get involved with a guy, and with the pill, the patch, condoms, or no intercourse at all, each girl should be able to plan her personal life the way that suits her best.

Comment: Of course I would think Pamela would want to get her rocks off, too. But masturbation is an option. Maybe even mutual masturbation. (Though that, too, has its risks) And, of course, there is the option of telling her to suck it up as well. Can’t say I watch Teen Mom – I tend to avoid watching shows that seem to almost glamorize idiotic behavior, like similar shows with 16 And Pregnant. No matter heat of the moment, I do not think one should allow their hormones to override one’s common sense. I went through my teen years keeping my head on my shoulders – though I have to say, I have huge issues with body contact between people and had no desire to get a boyfriend until I was almost 18, so perhaps I was just a really odd teenager. Maybe that’s why Alice being so amazed that Molly didn’t feel the need for a ‘boyfriend badge’ confused me so much in Alice On Her Way.

Phyllis replied: We all mature at different rates and in different ways.  A person can show super grown-up traits in one area, and lag a bit behind in another.  So while we can tell someone what they ought to do, or how they ought to feel, we can’t know what it is like to be in their skin.  And being so individual and unique is what makes us so wonderfully human.

Silly, Sad, Embarrassed, and Excited

Comment:

Hi I am a huge Alice FAN!! I have read your Alice books over and over again but this time in order because I never get tired of reading them. I currently finished Achingly Alice and I’m going to read Alice on the Outside. Boy your books really make me happy, silly, sad, embarrassed, and excited! I really want to know why u stopped writing and never made more movies about Alice because it would be a huge hit! Also these Alice stories are they based about how you were when you were in all those grades Alice was? Like Did it really happen to you? I would really just like to know. Well thanks for writing awesome books!

Phyllis replied:

Well, I knew I had to stop writing them sometime, and I decided that once she was through college, it would be a good time to take her life in leaps, rather than three books about each year of her life.  There are so many other books I want to write!  Yes, some of the things that happened to Alice happened to me or to someone I knew.  The Tarzan incident in The Agony of Alice happened to me when I was in fourth grade.  Being fired from her job in high school because she took time off to go on vacation with her family happened to me also.  And falling down the stairs and wetting her pants on her first day of high school happened to my mom back in 1914 on her first day of high school.  As for movies, I didn’t have much to do with the movie Alice Upside Down, though I liked some of the actors.  Whether anyone will make movies of the rest of the books, I really don’t know.  A nice idea, though.

Life Lessons

Comment:

I just wanted to say, thank you SO much for making an amazing series. Your books have given me life lessons and morals that everyone needs in their lives. Its sad that your series ended but it ended in such an amazing way.

Phyllis replied:

I’m happy that you found the ending of the series satisfying.  It’s always hard to say goodbye–hard for the reader and hard for the writer.  But there are so many more books in my head of other characters in other places, that I have a lot more work to do.  Thanks for taking the time to email me.

Questions about Crazy and Embarrassing Things

Comment:

I ended the last Alice book last night and i must say that it was one of the best! The idea of ending the last book with the memories was very nice. I began to read your books with nine years and i loved them so much.Now i am 17 years old and i´m from Germany so i`m really sorry if my english isn´t good but i hope you understand. The Alice books are only published to the 14th book so I began to read the rest on english(what really helped me in school) I must say that I grew older and older with Alice by my side and she helped me in a lot of situations . Youre books are sore wonderfull, emotional and real! They made my cry and laugh at the same time and as i was a girl i really could identify with Alice because she had so much questions about crazy and embarrassing things. You teached me alot with youre books about love, friendship,racism,gays and lesbians, get involved  and becoming self-conscious .You helped me to grow up and you answerd so many questions in youre books and i have the feeling that i have to thank you for all that. I must thank you for all those sleepless nights in wich i couldn´t stop to read youre books. I must thank you for all those things you teached me and all those moments you made me smile and cry .And also a big thank you to help me to learn english because reading your books motivated me and helped me a lot.So last but not least must thank you for creating Alice as a role model for me!

I am believe that in every little girl is in some kind a part of an Alice and I am sure that you helped a lot of people. I don´t even know you but I send you the best wishes for youre life and a lot of success. You would make me really really happy if you send me an answer because i like you so much. Please send me only a feedback that you read this e-mail.
and please never forget that you changes more lifes than you could believe

Phyllis replied:

It’s really wonderful to know that Alice was there for you in so many ways, and answered so many of your questions.  I admire the readers for whom English is a second language and they use the Alice books to help them learn.  Thank you for taking the time to write to me.  Your letters help me more than you can imagine.

Read it in Twenty-Four Hours

Comment:

Thank you for indulging me by reading this email. I’m sure you get many fan emails and none are terribly original, but I have to try. My name is Stefanie Kahanov, and I grew up in Montgomery County, MD (Olney, to be specific). My aunt first gave me the Alice books when I began middle school and I was very quickly hooked. I followed the series all the way through high school, scouring library shelves and Borders at White Flint for the latest books in the series. I loved that not only could I identify with the main character and plot lines, but also the area in which it took place.

Well beyond your target demographic, I discovered that you had written the final installment in the Alice series. Naturally, as a devoted reader, I read the final book in under 24 hours and finished it this morning a bit after midnight. I need to thank you. I was a healthy combination of Alice and Elizabeth (growing up and even now), and I need to thank you for making them complex and realistic while they aged. Giving them dimensions and purpose is the best gift I have received as a reader in 2015. Sad as I am to see the series end, I am grateful for the foray into their adulthood, not simply a “happily ever after” at marriage.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the gift of these characters, their triumphs and trials, loves, losses, and most of all their companionship when I had none. I now work as a speech pathologist in the Montgomery County School System, and it’s been a while since I opened that first Alice book, which I recommend to my students very frequently. Thank you for showing that there’s even love for a goody-two-shows like Elizabeth, like me, in the word. That there is power in reason and practicality, like Alice. That there is magic in spontaneity, like Pamela. Thank you for my book-bound childhood friends.

Phyllis replied:

What a lovely New Year’s gift your email was–to know that the books were your companion.  And I was delighted to hear that you are a speech pathologist in Montgomery  County Schools.  My husband was a speech pathologist at Walter  Reed Hospital in D.C., then at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, and I’ve just had published a book, “Going Where It’s Dark,” that concerns both a boy who stutters and a speech pathologist in the plot. (Plus cave exploring and more).   I’m so happy that you can identify with all the Alice characters in  some way.  Wishing you a Happy New Year!

Enjoyed Them Even More in English

Comment:

Today I would like to thank you very much for writing your Alice books. They have accompanied me throughout all my teenage years. Sometimes I feel like I grew up with Alice as a good friend and guide by my side. Reading the Alice book series has given me so much in my life. I laughed and I cried with Alice.

I’m from Germany and I got introduced to your book series by a friend when I was in middle school. After having read the first book I couldn’t stop and read all of the ones which were available at that time.  Unfortunately at some point in time they stopped translating the books to German so I just switched to reading them in English. I must say that I fell in love with your books even more when I started to read them in their original language.

I think you are a magnificent author with an extraordinary spelling style. You are able to touch people’s hearts by your words. I really think you should know that.

Now I am 23 years old and looking back on my teenager years I must inevitably think of my journey with Alice. I believe she helped and guided me through many phases of my life. Those books brought so much joy to me – thank you for writing them and thereby being a big support for many girls around the world!

Much love from Germany and a very merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.

Phyllis replied:

What a lovely message to begin the holiday season!  I’ve always wondered if my books are enjoyed more in English than in translation. I wish all my Alice readers a happy time with family and friends.  For me, the New Year will find my brother in Oregon, one granddaughter in India, another in Australia, my older son and his wife in Minnesota, so I will be spending Christmas with the one relative I’ve got closer, our younger son and his family in New Jersey.  Many families, I know, are spread out across the country and across the globe, and it’s wonderful that we have so many ways to connect.  May the New Year bring some peace and calm to our lives and to this world.

It Happened to Me

Comment:

Thank you so very much for writing the Alice series and broaching such a diverse array of complicated situations. I’ve read of theories in Crucial Conversations that people generally want to do the right thing and sometimes lack in clarity over what that is (such as what to say to a person cutting in line) but will act in healthy ways if they have seen a demonstrated “script” of how to handle these sticky situations. I’m sure you are well aware of these theories and I’ve found your series to be a wealth of these “scripts” where Alice and other characters demonstrate an effective way to move forward through these situations, complete with the honest ugly feelings that sometimes go with it.

I read “Now I’ll Tell You Everything” as soon as you released it a couple years ago after following the series since I was 9 (I’m 35 now). Recently after a major life transition I found myself in the beginnings of an emotional affair. When I read about Alice and Patrick’s difficulties I remember judging Patrick very harshly, and thinking that would never happen to us. I wondered why Patrick was coming clean to Alice when he hadn’t technically done anything wrong, and didn’t that just make it worse? I firmly believe that it is thanks to your stories that I was able to admit to myself the pattern in my own behavior much earlier than I otherwise would have, and was able to realize at an early stage what it was I had to do, and really even how to do it and possibly what to expect. I reread Patrick’s confession as I came to my own resolutions, and while we are not fully out of the woods yet, I firmly believe that your book (which my husband bought for me) has thus far played a significant role in preserving our marriage. Like Patrick, I decided to be candid and honest and accept full responsibility for the situation, and prayed that my husband would be as patient and forgiving as Alice, and he was above and beyond. I’d swear, he seems to love me more since I told him …. He’s a much better human being than I could ever dream of becoming … I’ve learned to appreciate my family much more through this experience as I confronted the possibility of losing them if I continued down that path. Seeing how hurt Alice was as she cried at the copier showed me how much I could be hurting my husband in ways he may not know or be telling me.

Thank you again so very much for all you have done for myself and my family, and so many in the world who may or may not know their lives have been touched by Alice.

Phyllis replied:

Thank you so much for your email.  I was very moved by it, and am happy for you and  your husband that the experience drew you closer.  Sometimes life works that way.  We skirt the edge of danger and get a sense of all we would lose, and it makes the life we have all that more precious.

Letter From Germany

Comment:

I don’t really know if you are ever going to read this. But anyway, I want to tell you something.

I don’t exactly remember how old I was when I first encountered one of your Alice books. I must have been about 12 or so, when I was at a local bookstore and I was looking for a new book. Then I discovered “The Agony of Alice” and “Alice in Rapture, Sort of”. Those two books were stuffed into one paperback. My decision was quite quick and I purchased it. As soon as I was done with the first two books of the Alice Series, I had to buy one after another. I didn’t always read them in order because sometimes when I wanted to buy the following book, it was out of order, so that I had to buy another one. But no matter which book you read, you can always follow and even if you haven’t read the book before, you can understand everything. At some point, I had read them all. Even the two of the three books before “The Agony of Alice”. The Alice series have probably been my favorite books of all time.

Two weeks ago, I decided to read them all again. 14 books, one after another. I read one per day. And even now, with the age of 18, I still love them. It doesn’t matter that Alice is younger than I am, I still love, love, love the way the Alice books are written. I love Lester’s sense of humor. I love Alice and her, sometimes weird, thoughts. How she overreacts sometimes. I had to cry so bad when Mrs. Plotkin died in hospital. I felt the pain Alice had to feel when she broke up with Patrick. While reading, I can just be in the world Alice is living in.

And what is even more; I always thought the Alice series had ended after book nr. 14. But I was wrong. They just hadn’t been translated into German anymore! And when I found the Alice homepage, I found out that there are up to 25(!!!) books! So of course, I just had to order the following ones. And Phyllis, I can’t tell you how excited I am that the Alice story is actually going on!!

Well, I guess, what I actually wanted to tell you: I am just in love with the Alice books. It is so much fun reading them, and sometimes I sit in bed and have to laugh about what Lester just said or what Alice just did. I can sort of relate to Alice at some points and I just want to let you know that it makes me so happy reading them. I guess I want to thank you for what you have published.

I just wanted to let you know. And I am seriously so happy to know that it hasn’t ended yet and I can’t wait to hold number 15, Patiently Alice, in my hands.  I hope you are well and I wish you all the best,

Phyllis replied:

It’s always a pleasure to hear from readers in another country.  I guess your are reading German translations of the Alice books, and of course that makes me curious how they handle sensitive passages.  Now I will make you even happier by telling you that there are a total of 28 Alice books, not 25, not including the 3-book paperback bindups of her high school years.  I know how you feel about the sad parts.  I cried too when I wrote them.  And Lester always makes me laugh.  It’s hard for me to realize he’s just a character, not a real guy.  Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me.

Things Outside My Bubble

Comment:

You were my favorite author for all of childhood – I remember looking up your name on my family computer, trying to find something about you that might connect us. In 3rd grade, my teacher helped me send you a letter. I remember the day I got your note back in the mail very clearly. My parents probably thought I was insane the way I ran around the house holding the manila envelope in my hands. In it was a list of writing tips you had given me, which I assume now was a standard response, but in between the lines of type writer font you’d written me a little note. I can’t remember what it said now, but I do remember feeling completely swallowed whole with hope and excitement. After that, I ordered a signed poster of you off of the internet and hung it up on my wall. You were my childhood hero – you made me dream.

Fast forward to now, I’m 18 years old, just graduated high school, and all I can think about is how I want to reread the Alice series. I went to an arts high school where I majored in the Literary program, with a focus on poetry. I don’t think I want to write for a living but I do know that I love it, and that on the worst days, writing is the greatest comfort I could ask for. I opted out of college for this year, and probably next year as well. I have this dream of moving to the south, to some small town. I want to learn something from people who are entirely different from me. I’ve grown up in a family of four kids, living just outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota. My parents are wonderful and loving and fun and encouraging. My siblings are my best friends. I have a lot of safety here, in this city, in this house. In a way, that makes me more interested in leaving it. I will always have people to come home to, I’m incredibly lucky for that, but I also have the amazing opportunity and ability to leave it and experience things outside of this safe bubble.

I suppose I’m writing to you because I have always believed that you have a world of things to teach me. Not only about writing, but about life and love and growth. I have no idea if you check this email, or if you’ll be able to respond, but I want to thank you for all that you did for my child heart, and for me, even now. I hope you are doing well, and just know that if you ever need any company, or if you are looking for someone to write you letters, I would love to learn from you. Thank you so much, Phyllis. I owe you a lot.

Phyllis replied:

I feel honored that my books affected you so deeply. A lot of myself went into the Alice books, so perhaps that translated better than I’d hoped. Your parents obviously raised you well, and made you secure enough that you want to venture out and experience how other people live their lives. You will undoubtedly come across people who have values and conduct their lives much different from your own, and if you are patient, you will discover what is behind some of their prejudices and what gives them strength and courage. And they will learn from you. I would love to hear from you again when you have settled on a particular place and experienced life in a small southern town. My father was from Mississippi, and I found his relatives warm and caring. I predict you will make many friends.

Want to Be Friends with Everyone

Comment:

I really need advice on something. I absolutely adore your books and want to become a writer myself when I grow up by the way.  Well the situation is, I am in year nine and recently moved back to my old school. The friendship groups have changed, obviously, but the group I’m in the ‘leader’ had a massive fight with the other group. She is so against them, wants to get them all expelled and all that. She says I have to pick which group to be in and I just want to be friends with everyone. And some of the people in the group I can’t hang out with have known me for ages and are my really good friends.

I don’t know what to do. The ‘leader’ of my group is basically controlling who I hang out with, what I post on Instagram anything. If it’s anything to do with them then she gets so angry and the whole group turn against me. I don’t know what to do.I would just really like to hear your advice because you are one of my role models and I highly look up to you.

Phyllis replied:

I think it’s time to ask yourself some questions: If the school population is really so segregated into two groups, why are you in the group with this kind of a leader?  Why aren’t you with your “really good friends”?  Is this the way you want to live your life, with someone else telling you what to do and whom you can hang out with?  Here’s a fact: not everyone in your life is going to like you, and you aren’t going to like “everyone.”  But I do appreciate your attitude that you would like to be more friendly with different types of people.  I suggest you look around and make some brand new friends that aren’t attached to any group that dictates what they can do.