Your Questions Answered

That First Kiss

I have been reading you’re alice books for along time, and I really enjoy them. So I am thirteen and in the 8th grade and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I am not a vain person but I am not one to protest the fact that I am pretty. And I have this guy friend who we can call Danny and my friends and I have always agreed that Danny is cute. So I was hanging out with a lot of people after school and I was talking to Danny while are friend was like three ft way. He said he had to leave and then he caught my eye and said, “can I have a goodbye kiss?” My heart began to pound and I almost leaned in for it but then at the last second I turned away and laughed it off. And then our friend we can call Tyler came up and said, “whoa did you two just kiss?” And I was like.. “uhh no..” and then it was very awkward. Later he kept hugging me and touching me and all this stuff and he even told my best friend that he likes me. And then he called me that night saying he wanted to hangout the next day and I obliged. It was Danny, me, and our other friend who we can call Brad. Now all Danny could talk about was getting his goodbye kiss, and I said maybe you will get it, and I meant it. But there were three of us. And odd number so we weren’t about to make out in front of Brad. So then we were at a park and we were hanging out up really high in this play structure and Danny had his head on my shoulder was basically on top of me and Brad was kind of off to the side. And then Brad’s dad called him saying he was out in the parking lot and that he needed to come get money from him. So brad went down the slide and left Danny and I in this secluded corner of the slide. He sat up straighter so he could be level with me and then it was so incredibly awkward that I decided to call Brad to ask what he was doing because at the time I had no idea why he had suddenly left. And then while I was on the phone with him Danny took the phone from me and hung up on Brad. But the kiss didn’t happen. Was it my fault? I have no idea. And then Danny said he’d walk me home, and he did, all the way to my driveway. And on the way he kept saying “can I have the kiss now?” And when I’d only laugh, five minutes later he’d say, “how about now?” But I wasn’t about to stop in the middle of the street and just kiss him. I wanted HIM to kiss ME. I didn’t want him to make it awkward and ASK, I just wanted it to happen. And then he texted me over and over asking why I didn’t kiss him and I explained that I didn’t want him to ask. And he asked me to hangout again today so my friend and I went to me up with him and Tyler. And Tyler kept saying, “Danny’s gonna kiss you, he’s gonna kiss you!” And Danny insisted on walking me home again and so the two of them did. So when we got to my house we were on my driveway and Tyler had kind of slipped away but he was still in sight and Danny had his arm around me and his face was inches from mine…….but nothing happened. Why am I so awkward?? I know Alice got her first kiss from Patrick in the 6th grade and I know she was nervous but she DID It. How come I cannot?? Any tips or advice?

Phyllis replied:

I don’t know why, but I hope that all girls longing for their first kiss will read your email.   Very few girls remember their first kiss as being especially romantic.  Usually it’s a mixture of excitement and embarrassment.  Your reluctance to kiss Danny reminds me of my long-ago shyness in kissing my boyfriend.  He’d kissed me many times, but he kept asking me to initiate a kiss myself, and for weeks I tried to get up the nerve.  Yep, I was in eighth grade–I think he was a grade ahead of me.  Finally, we were walking across a field one night, my heart pounding, and finally I just grabbed his arm, reached up and gave him a quick kiss, then turned and ran all the way home.  And the first time a boy kissed me, it too was a quick kiss and then, ZAP! He was gone.  Trust me, it gets easier, more comfortable, more romantic, more everything.  And it really doesn’t hurt to wait.  The more mature you are, the more natural it will seem.

Am I Normal?

Question:

 

Without the Alice books, I honestly don’t know what I would have done. When I really couldn’t turn to a parent or anyone else, Alice was there to explain the most “taboo” sort of things that I was lost without knowing. Even more than that, there were times I was convinced there was something very wrong with me. You’re books cleared that up, and let me know I was normal. I can’t thank you enough. Especially for having the clear understanding and fortitude to publish what children truly need.
I understand you must be incredibly busy, I don’t really know what to expect. But I hope you have a wonderful day, you’ve given me so many through you’re writing.

Phyllis replied:

 

I imagine there are many readers identifying with you as they read your email.  I know from the emails and letters I receive that many, many girls worry that they think about things no one else would think about, or that some part of their female anatomy is too big or too small, or that they doubt some of the things their parents believe, or that what seems right to them seems wrong to someone else….  I’m glad my books were helpful to you over the years, and appreciate your taking the time to tell me so.

Sylvia

Question:
I have two questions actually. The first is did you know from as soon as you wrote Sylvia into the series, that you evantually wanted her to marry Alice’s father? Or did it just come to you overnight?My second question is did something happen to your own mother as you were growing up? I read one of your other books a while back…The Blizard’s Wake…I think was what it was called. I noticed the girl’s mother had passed away in that book as well, and I was just entirely curious.

 

Phyllis replied:

 

I knew when I introduced Sylvia into the series that she would eventually marry Ben.  And no, my own mother lived to be 90, and I was glad to have her for so long.  There may be more of my books in which the mother–or another family member dies–I’d have to think about it.  Having this happen just seemed right for the plot, that’s all.

I Like Him, He Likes Her

Question:

 

Let me just start by saying I *love* the Alice series! Alice is such a relatable (sp?) girl. I wish she really existed – but oh well. At least she does in my mind. 🙂
So anyway, I need some advice. I have this friend – let’s call her Amanda – that has been my absolute *best friend* for all my life. We live in different states for most of the year but we see each other all summer. Another friend of ours – we can call her Sara – comes to the same place as well, and she has this *gorgeous* brother, who I’ll just call George. He’s sweet and thoughtful and funny and smart and just my absolute dream guy. But he’s a year older than me, and so is Amanda. They’re closer in age, and I’ve barely even spoken to him because I came back early from our summer town. Amanda’s hung out with Sara and George a few times. She likes him just as much as I do and says he might like her back. We have yet another friend, Molly, who kept commenting before we had seen him again this summer that he was a good match for Amanda and whenever I spoke up that I thought he was really great too, she would just say she couldn’t see him with me. Amanda agreed. It made me just really sad and now that I’m back in my home state I see their statuses on Facebook and stuff all the time. They go surfing together and hang out and have inside jokes. Amanda asked me if I still liked him and I just said no. It’s not like I’ll see him much anyway. But I still really like him.
I don’t know what to do. I’m happy for Amanda, and I know I can’t get him anyway. But how can I just deal with it?

 

Phyllis replied:

 

There isn’t a really good way to deal with it, and it’s tough, I know.  It happened to me twice when I was growing up, and all I could do was watch.  It’s good to remember, though, that some day it will be the other way around.  Someone like really like you and you’ll be a couple, and there will be other people who envy you.  It’s all part of life and growing up.

Remembering Alice

Question:

 

I Have been reading the Alice series since I was 10. I first was
introduced to Alice when I found an old copy of “Reluctantly Alice” at
a book store in Lake Tahoe, where I was visiting. I loved Alice. I
remember hiding my copy of Alice the Brave. I had tried to reenact the
seen from the book where they read about the Woman slipping into the
man’s bed. I was scared my mom would find out so I hid it in the
garage. I guess I never really understood how much Alice was a part of
my life, until today. I came across your blog, and it mentioned the
pencil test. A light went on in my head and I said “So *thats* where I
got that from!”. I read Alice off and on through my adolescence. A few
days ago I picked up my copy of “The Agony of Alice.” Alice is now
helping me through the struggles of growing up all over again.
Thank you for writing such wonderful books that still how the power to
touch me today.

 

Phyllis replied:

 

I loved your letter.  When I was young, I liked to act out scenes I’d read about too.  (Remember the Tarzan scene with her boyfriend from Agony of Alice?) 

 

Remember Me?

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Creative Writing courses?

Question:

 

I’m writing to you so I can officially proclaim my love for the Alice series.  Despite the fact that ALice and I do not have that much in common, I can still relate to her.  Everything she does seems so honest.  It may not be the right thing, no noble deed dripping with selflessness and grace, but it’s sincere.  It’s nice to meet a character who’s not the epitome of integrity, but who embodies human nature instead.  All the embarrassing, confusing, exasperating, mistake-riddled traits of human nature.  And that’s exactly what we love about Alice.

         Also, I love how the Alice books don’t really fit the format of others I have read.  Almost all the young adult literature I’ve read that features a female heroine follows this pattern:  Girl is a total reject/painfully boring, something catastrophic happens to Girl, while Girl wrestles with her life a drop-dead gorgeous Stud magically appears, Stud falls madly in love with Girl, Girl fixes giant problem, Girl gets together with Stud, (they could possibly break up, but Stud always comes back.)and they both live happily ever after.  Not really that realistic, hmmm?  I always think, “Are these two going to date forever and then get married or something?  Because that’s what they seem to think.” (Maybe I’m just jealous, because of my nonexistent love life :).  I can’t at all fit Alice into this one-size-fits-all format.  She’s dated, she’s broken up, she’s moved on.  Alice doesn’t walk in a dream world like so many other cookie cutter characters. 

           And we all know that, at some point in time, every girl wonders about the topics that Alice learns about (even if we deny it).  I applaud you for your courage in exploring these taboo subjects with such openness.  I admire how you so tastefully incorporate these subjects into the story without disrupting its flow.

           I am an aspiring author (Can you tell?  I sure hope so.) much like the others who write to you.  It’s really quite a shame, because there isn’t a trace of creative writing (I loathe essays and other forms of writing that stifle the imagination) to be found in my english class.  You could take a creative writing course, but that’s only for juniors and seniors, and I’m just a lowly freshmen.  Do you have any writing tips for me?  Any giant mistakes in this e-mail just begging to be addressed?  It’s a bit early, but do you know of any good subjects to major in, like creative writing or journalism?

          Oh dear, I’ve rambled quite a bit in this letter.  I’m so sorry for wasting a boatload of your time.

          You may or may not get around to reading this or answering back.  If you don’t, I won’t think any less of you or Alice.  I understand that you are a busy woman and have better things to do than answer silly fan mail all day.

          Anyways, it’s not important what my name is, or where I’m from, because I’m just another fan.  Though I’m not special, or unique, or different in anyway from all the other Alice-lovers, I’d still like to thank you.  And even though you’ve heard it a million times before, I’m willing to bet it still means a lot.

 

Phyllis replied:

To be truthful, I didn’t take any writing courses.  At the time I was in high school and college, I was concentrating on the subjects I needed for my major–psychology–and thought, at the time, that writing was just my hobby.  Until a family emergency drove me to write full-time, I hadn’t realized how much I loved it and that I could make a living at it.  I wouldn’t take any courses by mail if I were you–you need feedback from other would-be writers, and even without a group or a class, you are already learning by listening, observing, and the memories you’ve already stored in your memory bank.  Would your school librarian be willing to form a creative writers’ group that meets over the lunch hour or after school?  Can you form your own among a few friends who share your interests?  Any way that you can submit articles or stories to the school newspaper?  Meanwhile, aside from creative writing courses when you get to be a junior or senior, concentrate on psychology and sociology, and read other writers to see how they put words and ideas together.  And best of luck!

 

Two Different Covers

Question: Hello I just want to say I have read all of your books I love them and im 20.Im on Alice in charger. But there 2 different covers of the book. One with her dancing then another one with her standing. Are they the same books cuz one has less pages then the other ? P

Phyllis replied:

There is now a paperback out of “Alice in Charge” showing a girl standing.  The hardcover has her dancing with a partner.  It’s the same novel, different covers.

From a Dad

Question:

As a 47 year old man, I’m guessing that I’m not the target market for the Alice series, but I stumbled upon them about 10 years ago when I briefly taught 4th grade.  My daughter, who was a first grader (and early reader) at the time, immediately fell in love with Alice.  We have read the books together over the years and they have given us many interesting topics to talk about, many of which we might not have otherwise.  Alice has been a genuine positive role-model for years.  My daughter is now entering her junior year of high school, so she will coincidentally be going off to college at exactly the same time Alice does.  I have a little tear in my eye now, as I think about how they grew up together, and how our annual ritual will soon be coming to an end.I have been teaching high school, mostly seniors, for the past several years.  In Incredibly Alice,  I think you perfectly captured the uncertainty and sadness that accompanies the excitement of senior year, including the anxiety surrounding college acceptances.  So, as I help my daughter deal with this in real life, I also look forward to the final installment. 

 

Phyllis replied:

I loved your letter, and think readers will love it too.  It’s comforting in a way to know that parents share the same sadness, uncertainty, and yes, excitement, when a child leaves for college.  But once our children leave home, we don’t know when they are happy, depressed, scared, embarrassed….  Not that we always knew when they lived with us, but at least we were under the same roof.  Because of your close relationship with your daughter, my guess is that this will give her much of the stability and self esteem she’ll need to navigate through college. And she’ll always know you’re there for her.  Thanks so much for writing.

And So Will Alice….

Question:

 

I will be very sad when the alice series is over. But a few days ago I heard JK Rowling saying in a thank you speech about her harry potter series that “Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.” So I am going to think the same with the alice series. Its just like the title of the your last book “Always Alice.” to me that title is really powerful because alice will always be there for her readers to make them laugh, cry, advise, and relate. And I will definitely pass these books to my kids in the future! Hope you are having a wonderful summer!  🙂

Phyllis replied:

 

What a wonderful message.  Thank you.