Your Questions Answered

We’re Not Alone

Question:

I just wanted to write to you to say that Alice McKinley makes everything better no matter how bad it is. there’s always some comfort in reading a book with a character going through situations that are so real and you can relate to. I haven’t been able to put these books down since I first started reading them in 7th grade; now I’m a freshman in college and just got broken up with for somebody else. I’m reading Alice Alone right now and the way you described Alice and Patrick’s break up was so realistic and I started crying all over again as I turned the pages. all I really want to say is thank you for writing books that help girls get through struggles in life that make you grow as a person, and to know that the alone feeling is a lie. thank you so much.

Phyllis replied:

And thank you so much for your letter. This was sort of a down day for me, too, and your email was a little ray of sunshine. I’m so glad the book helped.

Posted on: November 7, 2010

A Coincidence?

Question:

Iwas wondering: In your book “The Agony of Alice” when the teachers are calling their class names and Miss Coles says Ann Martin, is that an allusion to author Ann M. Martin, or just a coincidence?

Phyllis replied:

Just a coincidence. I never use names of people I know.

Posted on: November 7, 2010

Jealousy

Question:

I have a problem. I realllly like this boy, and I’ve known him sinse the 3rd grade. He liked me for awhile, but I know he stopped…..well he’s dating an 8th grader that I know, and were both in 7th grade. I’m like seriously jealous….. anyway. He flirts with me, and even my friend noticed. I REALLLY LIKE him, but he’s going out with the girl. I know for a fact that they’ve kissed and stuff…..I know this isn’t a big deal, but it still hurts. How do I deal?

Phyllis replied:

You deal with it by realizing that not everyone you really like is going to really like you back. It’s a fact of life, hard as it is to swallow. But someday it will be you who doesn’t like a boy as much as he likes you. It’s also quite possible that your interest in this guy has increased just knowing he’s going out with another girl. If he dropped her, would you want him as much? Something to think about.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Read Every One

Question:

I love your Alice books so much! I have read every one from Alice in Blunderland to Alice in Charge!
Me and my 2 best friends read all of them at the same time and if one of us gets to a good part then we call the other two or talk on the computer about it, or talk about at school! I buy every single Alice book and keep them all on their own special shelf by themselves because they are my favourites!!

Phyllis replied:

You and your friends certainly seem to be having a good time with the Alice books. Thank you for being such loyal fans.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

How Do You Comfort?

Question:

My friends are big fans of your books and I am becoming one also! 
 I want to be an author one day so thank you 
for being an inspiration.  I have an advice question.  One of my friends, we are 
sophomores 
in college, she had a crush on a guy named Alex, but never wanted to pursue it.  
One of our other friends 
informed us that Alex is gay. She is a little disappointed, but she is a great 
girl so I think she will find someone wonderful for her.
In the meantime though, what can be and my friends say for words of comfort.  
Thank you.=

Phyllis replied:

You would give the same kind of comfort you would if any guy rejected her for any reason. It’s hard, I know, when you invest so much energy and time and dreams and fantasizing over a particular person, to finally realize that the feelings simply aren’t reciprocated. And you can’t promise anyone that she is going to meet someone else who is wonderful, because life is too iffy for that. But when you consider that there are billions of people in this world and about half of them are male, her odds of finding someone else who loves her back are exceedingly good.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Where do you Write?

Question:

Where do you work when you’re writing an Alice book? In a comfy chair in your living room, and on paper? Or do you type the books in an office?

And, I am so excited for Incredibly Alice, I think I could stop breathing at any moment. I didn’t think books could do that to you, but -surprise, surprise!-the Alice books do.

Phyllis replied:

Gosh, you’ve got a long time to wait, as that book won’t be out till next June. But I’m delighted to know you like the Alice books so much. I write my first two drafts of a novel sitting in a comfortable chair in my living room. After that, I type a draft on the computer, print it out, revise it, print it out, revise it–over and over again until it’s just the way I want it.

Thank you for making the world a better place.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

A Series I Really Enjoy

Question:

All I have to say is that I LOVE your Alice books! It is an amazing and unique series. I am just so glad my friend recommened it. I asked her one day, “I have no more books to read now, what should I read?” in our school library one day. She handed me the first one, Starting with Alice. At first i wa snot sure, but I needed something to read so I took it. I loved it! I finished it in 4 days! I could not wait to go and check out the next one! I am currently on Outrageously Alice. One reason why I am a fan is beacuse of the fact that it was written years back. I do not like the teen books written today, I love that these books take place in the ’80s and ’90s (I looked at the copyright date!). I am just so glad i found a series i really enjoy! Thank you for your wonderful books!!!

Phyllis replied:

I know the feeling of finding a series you really like. There are now 25 books in the Alice series, and in a few years, it will end with 28 books. Enjoy, enjoy!

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Thoughts of Suicide

Question:

Hello! I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoy all of your books & how realistic Alice & the other characters are. The problems they have are often extremely similar to things I deal with & I really appreciate that. I also have a question. I think I’m depressed & I don’t know what to do. I have lots of great friends & a lovely family so I don’t know why I feel this way, but I have been having suicidal thoughts & have even started writing suicide notes. This is so so so terrifying to me & I don’t know what to do. My mom is against anti-depressants & other medication but I haven’t told her about thinking about suicide. I have been feeling this way for quite a while & suicide is always in the back of my mind as a last resort if something goes wrong. I like this guy who’s my best friend & he has a girlfriend so I know I should just give up & move on but I just feel like I love him. I can’t sleep & it’s often impossible for me to focus. I go to therapy but it doesn’t seem to help.

Phyllis replied:

You are in therapy for a reason, so I hope that you have told your therapist about your suicidal thoughts, whether you feel that therapy is helping you or not. This is not something to keep to yourself. If not your therapist, and you feel you can’t tell your parents, tell a teacher or counselor or your principal. And if no one takes you seriously, please try one of these hot-lines: 1-800-448-3000; 1-800-422-4453; or 1-800-273-8255. I can’t tell you not to feel the way you do, because obviously we can’t help how we feel, but we can help what we do about it. What I can tell you is that I have known several people who seriously considered suicide at one point in their lives, and are so glad they didn’t go through with it. Situations change; bodies change; loves change; emotions change; circumstances and places and people change. What seems impossibly ugly or terrifying or awful now can seem of little consequence a few years, even a few months, from now. Please ask your mother to let a doctor help you decide about medications for depression. There is no need for you to continue to suffer the way you do now, and when you’re feeling better, you can think more clearly and see life with a different perspective.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

When a Friend Moves Away

Question:

Hi my friend is going to be moving and I was wondering whhat I should do to make her not so worried about it and more calm when I am like not so happy either I want to tell het things will be okay but I don't know if things will be okay...so what should i say to make her more confident that her parents made the right choice for her. If you could help me to what to say so she will not be so unhappy about it? Thanks!

Phyllis replied:

You can’t promise her that things will be OK because no one knows that. The best thing you can do is be a good listener, and assure her that it’s normal to be a little fearful of new situations, and especially new places to live. Remind her that she was once new to your school too, even if she started out in kindergarten. In fact, each new class in each new grade is a new experience. Teachers are different, some of the students are different. What you can do is assure her that she will make new friends the same way she made old ones, by seeking out at least one person she feels she can be comfortable with, and slowly adding another…then another….until….there they are, friends.

Posted on: November 2, 2010

Ruin our Relationship?

Question:

Hi Phyllis! I have a really big problem; I think I’m in love!! I know it’s not really a problem, I mean…it’s hard to explain! Ok I’ll just get on with the story. This guy I’ve liked since kindergarten is always sending me these super sweet texts and one day on the bus, I really just wanted to jump on him and kiss him. I just can’t resist! I have a feeling he likes me back, but I’m wayyyy to scared to ask; I mean what if it ruins our very close relationship, that took 5 years to build? I don’t know what to do; I want to be his, but at the same time I don’t? Too confusing, right?

Please help!!!

Phyllis replied:

Surely there is a way, other than jumping on him, to let him know. Can’t you simply text him back that sometimes, whenyou read his text messages, you feel you are starting to like him as more than a friend, and this is confusing. Ask him if he ever feels that way. Then sit back and see how he replies and reacts. I think that will tell you if he meant something special in what he wrote, or if he wants to keep the relationship platonic.

Posted on: November 2, 2010