Your Questions Answered
Question:
haha! your humor reminds me of my grandma in california hopefully some other person will be as great as you
Phyllis replied:
Greetings to your Gram in California!
Posted on: September 3, 2010
Question:
I’m going to be a sophmore in the fall and I remember reading your books for the longest time and loving them. I’ve read every single one. I’ve cried and laughed. Then in Intensely Alice I cried so hard when —-died I cried so much because of what happened and knowing that accidents like that happen all the time. I thought that this was your best one and then Alice in Charge came out and I read that one and loved it even more than the last one. You are by far my favorite author and I hope that you continue with the Alice Books because reading these help me through the hard times I have had.
Phyllis replied:
I so appreciate your telling me this. Makes it all worthwhile.
Posted on: August 31, 2010
Question:
My best friend is really awesome. Let’s call her Joy. We have sooo much fun together, and I love hanging out with her. Problem is, she’s not the prettiest, or skinniest of people, and she tends to give off a bad vibe to people who don’t know her very well. Well I’m in highschool, and people are always telling me, ‘You know, you could be pretty cool if you stopped hanging out with Joy. And started hanging with us.’ and if i’m texting Joy, the few other friends that I have will say, ‘Why are you texting her?’ Well, while everyone in highschool is trying to grow up so fast, me and Joy can still jump into a river without worrying about our hair. I want to have lots of friends too, though, and I really am giving the wrong impression on people by hanging out with her. I don’t know what to do. Should I ditch Joy and start hanging with people that could make me ‘popular’ or should I stay with my best friend?
P.S. Your Alice books are fantastic!
Phyllis replied:
Joy is your best friend and you’d give up on her because she’s not pretty and is overweight? You’re beginning to set your standards for life, remember–not that you can’t change–but there will be times you would give anything for a good and faithful friend, no matter how she looks. Of course you want lots of friends. That’s natural. But remember there are other people watching you who will be comforted by the fact that they don’t have to be perfect or beautiful or handsome to be your friend. You don’t have to include Joy in everything you do. You’re entitled to go some places with some friends and not others. To people who suggest you give up on her to be cool, you might just say, “Hey, I’m a “39 flavors” when it comes to friends. Keeps life interesting.”
Posted on: August 31, 2010
Question:
let’s jump straight to the point. yes I know it”s me again but let’s just straight to the point. okay, so my, slightly weird, friends and i were at a football game and during halftime two of my friends (let’s call them mary and macy) started wrestling. it ended up mary on the ground and macy kneeling on top of her. another one of my friends just had to scream “look at mary and macy!!!!” so now everyone is calling mary and macy “lesbian”. they’re crying and sad 24/7 and i need to help make them feel better. any ideas?
Phyllis replied:
Maybe you need some more mature friends? Or maybe you can be the mature one here and figure out why you and your friends seem to be so fixated on gays and lesbians. When something like this happens, why not just say, “Oh, grow up, guys.” Being overly apologetic, however, makes it sound as though being called lesbian was a terrible insult. Somebody needs to simply tell those girls that you were being both rude and childish, and then invite them to go somewhere or do something with you that proves they are part of the group, not girls–of whatever sexual orientation–to be either taunted or pitied.
Posted on: August 31, 2010
Question:
I have a lot to say and I hope nobody is bored with my writing but i need some help and i don’t really want to talk to anyone else. Here goes: to be “popular” at my school you need to have a cell phone. And I don’t have one. The only people (boys and girls) in the grade without a cell phone are me and ONE of my friends. Lately, people have started calling us the “cellphone-less two” It makes me so mad at them. I feel left out. People will call out to each other “Text me tonight!” or “Call me on my cell!”But, the other side of my story. I’m turning thirteen soon and I really do need a cell phone. I’m spending more time away from home (sports practice, over at a friends house, at youth group at church, at choir practice, at a birthday party) and my mom isn’t constantly with me anymore. My friend is sick and tired of me using up the minutes on her phone to call my mom. The question almost always on my mind is “Will I EVER get one??” One time when a friend stayed over at my house and brought her cell phone, I overheard my parents talking about it. “She’s even younger than our daughter and she has a cell phone!” “I know, it’s just to young for a kid to have this kind of technology. And the cost! If our children had one, think of the money we’re trying to save!” But that WAS a while ago. I want to talk to my mom about myself needing a cell phone but I’m just not confident enough. I’m scared to. I don’t know why. I’m scared of what she’ll think of me and what she’ll tell my dad, I guess. But I can’t see a reasonable reason why I’m scared. I just am. I hope you’ll have a bit of advice. This has been keeping me up at night I think about it so much. I know what you might be thinking. “Kids these days! So much technology that we never had and we managed without! This girl is so…” BUt don’t think that. Thank you so much for your help
Phyllis replied:
First question: Do you NEED a cell phone, or just want one to be popular? I can think of many instances where it is helpful to have a cell phone, and if it would really be useful–not just a way to keep in touch with friends, as important as that is–then this is perhaps your biggest selling point. When you go to an event, for example, do your parents ask you to call when you’re ready to be picked up? If so, this is your opportunity to tell them that it’s not fair to your friends that you are using up minutes on their cell phones. Do some research: there are cell phones that have limited minutes, and there are plans have basic rates for basic service. Find out what an inexpensive phone would cost and what a basic plan would be. Present this to your mother, with the understanding that if you lose your phone, or drop it in the toilet, or otherwise are careless with it, you will go without, or will pay for it yourself. It’s possible that your parents don’t know what a less expensive plan would be, but I don’t think it would involve much texting.
Posted on: August 31, 2010
Question:
I’m in a real situation here. My two best guy friends have gotten super cute over the summer. Usually I wouldn’t complain, but this is different. I relized that I like both of them, but I don’t want to! I just want to be their best friends! What should I do?
Phyllis replied:
Seriously? And the problem is…..? What you’re telling me, I guess, is that you’re feeling romantic toward them now, and you’d rather just stay best friends? Well, if you don’t want romance to enter the equation, then keep everything on the non-flirtatious level. No lingering glances, no touching, no knowing smiles, etc. But best friends can become bf/gf you know, and lots of couples married their best friends. Perhaps the bigger question you are asking is that if you become romantically involved with one, how do you decide which, and once you decide, what happens to the other guy? If I were you I’d keep to the best friend routine until you feel an overwhelming desire to make it something more.
Posted on: August 31, 2010
Question:
Hello! I have a boy question! I bet you havent heard that one before! Not! Ha ha…anyway I really need some guy advice from an outside perspective. The situation is there is this guy named Lucas. He was my friends friend. we had a couple of encounters, no big deal. but me and my friend thought he was really cute. so one day he was walking with his friends, and they are all big tall muscular guys, and he was talking about watching ellen degeneres.For some reason me and my friend heard and we could not stop laughing at the irony of this muscular guy watching that. so we told all of our friends the story and then whenever someone brought him up wed go ELLEN! to us it wa just funny buthe found out and now he thinks we’re freaks. What can i possibly do to make him think I am not a freak? It really bugs me, proabably more than it should because of the fact that he’s cute, plus that he hangs out with my friend alll the time and now its awkward if im with her at school and he is there too. it was just a joke but he thinks we stalk him now, haha. Please give me adive…..I’m also kind of scared to approach him so if there is someway I can do this gently please tell me because I am intimidated and at a complete loss.
Phyllis replied:
Well, let’s start off by admitting that it was low-grade humor and childish, because: 1) You were implying that only gay people like ELLEN 2) That the most important thing about Ellen is that she is gay 3) And that if this guy is gay, muscular or not, it’s weird. So you and your friends probably seem both childish and not very bright about this particular subject. That said, what to do, because all of us, myself included, have said and done stupid things that we regret. And unfortunately, about the only thing you can do is not repeat your mistake. If I were you, I would immediately stop all the silliness and be as mature as I naturally could while I was around this guy. I would talk about other subjects, stop the staring or giggling or anything else that you might have been doing, and then…if you ever get into a comfortable conversation with him, you might just apologize, very briefly, for being completely silly and out of line, and then change the subject.
Posted on: August 26, 2010
Question:
I’m going into my sophmore year in college right now, and I’ve been reading the Alice books since I was in middle school. Today I realized that “Alice In Charge” came out a few months ago. I’m completely unashamed to say that I got right into my car, drove to the nearest Borders, bought it, and read it in a space of a few hours. (I may have even sneaked a peek at the first page while sitting at a stoplight.)
I just hope you realize how much people care about your books. You’re doing something very, very right.
Phyllis replied:
You really made my day, and it’s been a rough week. Thanks so much for writing!
Posted on: August 26, 2010
Question:
Wow! I don’t even know what to say. Let me start by telling you that I am a HUGE fan of your Alice books, I am 12 years old and have read (almost) every book. When I find out that a new one is out I jump to get it and that is all on my mind until i can get my hands on the book! I know you probably get letters like this all the time, so i’m pretty sure i won’t be getting and answer from you. But let me just say that I think you are an incredible writer, i envy how in these books you feel like you are a part of Alice and I know when you write them that you have to put yourself in her place. I have always found peace in writing, but don’t know where to find inspriation for my story. Can you please tell me how you found inspiration for the Alice series? And for a writer like me, how can I learn to do what you do by connecting yourself to your books?
Phyllis replied:
I just wanted to write a book about a girl looking for a role model, and because of the good response I got from readers and reviewers, decided to make it a series, providing Alice could grow older in each book. You should simply look into yourself and decide what you most want to write about, what you most want to say, and what voice you will use when you write. Will you write in the voice of one of your characters? Or will you write in the voice of a narrator? Sometimes you need to write the first few paragraphs of a story several different ways to see what reads and sounds best to you.
Posted on: August 24, 2010
Question:
A friend recommended this website for me to send in my question. I have read a few alice books but never saw the website. Anyway here’s the setup: I saw on a to do list my mom had written: Sex talk. No she hasn’t had the talk with me yet. But I know about sex already. Should I tell her or pretend her talk is all new stuff to me. Thank you for your time..
Phyllis replied:
Oh, gosh, make it easy for her and see what she has to say. She’ll probably start out by saying something about you possibly knowing this already, but my guess is she’ll have a few tidbits that are new to you. None of us know EVERYthing about sex. She may also look at this as a way to bond a bit more with you. And if you have any questions during this sex talk, be open with her and ask them. That will help her feel that it was all worthwhile.
Posted on: August 23, 2010
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