Your Questions Answered

Shut Him Out of my Life for Good?

Question:
Hey, i can't wait to read your new book. But i am confused about when it's 
coming out. Anyways, if you wouldn't mind, i was hoping to get some advice. I 
have this friend who is very dear to me and i care about him a lot. The thing 
is, is he used to be my boyfriend but that ended because of distance and time. 
He moved to kentucky with his dad (since they're divorced) and now i don't ever 
see him. We still text and talk on facebook and we're close but not as close as 
he and i would like to be. Now that summer is here we can talk even more and 
pick up where we left off. He and i miss each other very much and it's hard to 
talk with him without thinking about all the good times. He's as sweet as they 
come, compliments and all. We are each others support systems. He and i send 
modest pictures of each other and that makes me miss him more. I don't know 
whether we should space us out or continue our special friendship. It would be 
very hard to shut him out of my life for good.Share your wisdom


Phyllis replied:
Why shut him out of your life for good?  The only reason I 
can think of to tune this friendship down a notch is if
it is making the two of you too exclusive--keeping you from
seeing other people.  The reality is that you now live far 
apart.  But you were also close to each other emotionally.  
Continue the friendship with the understanding that you can 
date other people. When you're older and independent, if you 
still feel close, distances won't be such a barrier.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

A Little Chubby

Question:

Hey! well, I need some advice. I’m not fat, but I think I’m a little chubby. None of my friends or family say I am, but they’re probably just being nice. I’m going on 98 lbs and I’m going into 7th grade next year. Maybe I’m more, I got weighed in Feb. Well, can you give me some good tips to eating right and excercising?

What are some good foods to eat to loose some weight?

What are some good excersize tips?

I want to get in shape and feel healthy, but loose weight.

Phyllis replied:

Weighing 98 pounds and going into seventh grade doesn’t tell me anything. It all depends on how tall you are. But you are wise to think about eating healthy foods, because not only will healthy eating keep you in the right weight range, but it will help keep your skin and hair looking good too. Eat all the vegetables and fruits that you can. Summer is a good time for weight-watchers because a handful of cherries or a bunch of grapes are always a treat. Bananas are good and filling, whatever the season. String cheese and a couple of crackers also makes a nice snack. What you want to avoid are fast foods–not entirely–but most of the time: cheeseburgers, fries, fried chicken, doughnuts, soft drinks… Eat only when you’re hungry, or as one model said, “I only eat when I know I have a stomach.” That’s a good rule for anyone, but don’t give up breakfast! Try to add twenty minutes of walking, biking, jogging, swimming….any movement at all to whatever you’re already doing daily now. That will help.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

A Coincidence?

Question:

Did you plan the health assignments in Alice in Lace to correspond with Alice in high school? **For example in Alice in Lace, Brian got the assignment of getting a DUI and in high school he actually got DUI in Dangerously Alice. Same thing with Pamela. But will the same thing happen with Alice?

Phyllis replied:

You readers are really sharp! It’s fascinating, but you know, I never realized that–that the school assignments became reality later on. No, it was all in my subconcious, and whether Alice’s assignment becomes reality will be revealed in the final book.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Enjoyed Them for Ten Years….

Question:

I just got home from spring semester and caught up on the past few Alice books, and I wanted to drop you a line to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed them for the past ten years or so. I don’t remember how old I was when I read The Agony of Alice – probably a little bit younger than Alice herself, actually – but I’m twenty-one now and a rising senior at Georgetown, and I still can’t get over how much I like all the books (I’ve read all except the prequels). My mom got me the first book with a bunch of others from the library, and it was a few years before I realized that you’d continued writing about Alice. At first she seemed so much more grown-up than I was, although now that I’m a little bit older than she is, I can really appreciate how hard it must be to write her so convincingly at every age.

I like Alice because she always does seem like such a real girl – so much so that when she’s kissing boys or otherwise being intimate with them, I always get a little bit embarrassed because I feel as though I’m invading her privacy. All the characters, really, act like real people I knew in high school or know now in college (another thing I love, now, about the Alice books are the many references to places I know! I can just see the Georgetown Chimes singing naked for charity, for example), and even though Alice can get a little preachy from time to time, I’ve always seen so much not only of myself but of my female friends in her, Pamela, and Elizabeth.

Thanks again for writing them. Best wishes.

Phyllis replied:

It’s wonderful to know that a college senior is still enjoying the Alice books. Thanks so much for taking time from your own busy life to write to me.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Gave the Wrong Impression

Question:

It’s my first year in the public school system. Plus, I started out the year in middle school and was put in high school just this February b/c it was decided I was better suited there (I’m 15, and therefore was supposed to be in high school to begin with, but they wanted to know if I could cope.) Anyways, I had a hard enough time learning how to act in a school environment back at middle school, but then when I got swapped to high school… anyways, to make a long story shorter, before I was actually transferred, I was assigned a guide who was in my grade. She was a really nice girl, and I guess I gave her a good enough first impression, b/c at the end of the tour she suggested I hang out with her and her friends if I initially had trouble making friends when I switched over. I was overjoyed, and so when I transferred the next week, I went and sought her out, confident I’d easily fit into her group of friends. I was wrong. It’s not that there was anything wrong with them, or that there’s any big difference between her friends and me, but I don’t know, something just happened to me and I couldn’t sit there and make conversation. I froze, all of the five or so times I tried hanging out with them. Something about how they were so close to each other and I was this random outsider prevented me from speaking up, even though I know that’s all I would of had to do to eventually fit myself into the swing of things. So anyways, that’s what I did: I withdrew myself. I didn’t try hanging out with her anymore and retreated to every loner’s best friend at school: the library. I’ve spent every month since late March in there, by myself, and in early March I turned down up to three requests from herself and one of her friends to come back and try hanging out with them again. I don’t know why. Looking back, I know now that if I’d just stuck it out then, right now we’d all be like best friends probably. But anyways… what I want to know is… see, I don’t want to go back to that school in tenth grade with no friends (plus my former classmates from eighth grade, whom I never particularly got on with and will no doubt tease me to suicidal depression if they discover I went into high school and failed to make any connections) and of all the other people I’ve met during my time at this school, in the end I feel like I had the most in common with those girls (my guide and her friends.) and I really want to try and become a part of their group, only… now everytime I see them, mostly they’ll smile, but one of the girls (and my guide’s best friend) just seems to find it awkward looking at me, and… I don’t know, I just feel like we all feel extremely awkward about how I blew them off earlier in the year, and I’m struggling with how I can try to start over with them. There’s only three more weeks of the school year, and I don’t think there’s any chance of me being able to just pop myself into their group next year, so basically, I’m wondering what you think I should do? Should go up to all of them at lunch time and confess I was unreasonably anti-social at the beginning of the year but now I’d really appreciate the opportunity to give them a new impression and this time actually make an effort to be friends with them, or should I just approach one of them and ask beforehand if I’d even be welcomed? OR, should I just dump the idea altogether and not pursue friendship with them at all?

Phyllis replied:

Education is not only about becoming good at math and science, but becoming good at getting along with other people. And just as you need to study history and literature and physics and biology, you need lessons in getting along with your classmates. The very best way to do this is–over the summer and at the start of school next year–join every possible group or club or activity you can, within reason. Sports, drama, stamp collecting, book discussion, dance, or choral, where the main activity is DOING something together, and making friends is incidental. It is SO, SO, SO much easier to ease into friendships when the attention is on something else, than when you are staring other people in the face and are sitting together for the express purpose of MAKING FRIENDS. In the meantime, however, it might help if you selected, among that welcoming group of friends, the girl whom you might feel closest too, and simply tell her what you told me in this letter. That you just felt awkward, you’re not used to public schools, and you really don’t know why you withdrew from them as you did. Ask to be included when they do something together, or go someplace together, where the focus isn’t on sitting around just talking. Be a volunteer in your community where you will be with others your age naturally. What do you enjoy doing? What are you especially good at doing? How can you somehow transfer this skill, this enjoyment, to a volunteer project? You will learn the most about making friends by DOING something friendly with others your own age. In the meantime, be upfront about your awkwardness. These girls are feeling awkward too because they don’t know if they have done something to offend you or not. Honesty can work wonders. Best of luck.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Is Alice Squeaky Clean?

Question:

I’ve been reading the Alice books since middle school and have waited for each new one since then (over 10 years, wow!).
While I’ve enjoyed them enough to keep reading, I feel as though Alice has become less real of a character in the later books. Maybe it’s because I’m jealous of her – she’s a lot more mature and grounded than I was at that age.

I know Alice had her rebellious phase in “Outrageously Alice” or so, but lately she’s been more of the good foil to the trouble that other characters get into. Pamela gets pregnant – not Alice. Kids from the other school get drunk – not Alice. Brian turns evil – not Alice. Her escapades are mild and often solved by talking with her father. She’s a good role model, but no longer a compelling character.

I also think that sometimes the way she thinks reflects an older person’s thought process, and I don’t associate her with enough life experiences to have developed them. For example, she broke up with Sam and decided that she would never tell anyone about Sam’s mother’s photoshoot offer, as that would make Sam (and his mother) look too pathetic. It wasn’t that she did this but that she noted to herself the maturity of her decision that seemed odd. She also thinks about how unfair it is that Pamela should need to consider a baby now, without giving voice to being excited about a baby, which seems like a more adult point of view. Then, she decides when Sylvia’s made a German chocolate cake that if she can’t confide the source of her grumpiness, she ought to act happy for everyone else’s sake. I wish I could instinctively behave that well now, and I wish I could have then.

In addition, the way that Alice relates to Amy Sheldon is so patronizing! Amy’s character used to be really interesting to me: she was the girl a little bit odd, right, who would talk about her chickenpox scabs at inappropriate moments. In the latest book or two, Amy’s turned into someone who is not just socially unconventional but actually developmentally challenged. Alice has to explain to her about “women’s things, bathroom talk, just for in private” when Amy exclaims that she’s gotten her period – Amy was never that heavy-handedly clueless in the other books. Or, did I miss something there? All of a sudden, Amy’s in special ed, like the Shannon character in For Better or For Worse.
But, on the flip side, if Alice is really so sympathetic and mature, maybe she could have mirrored Amy’s enthusiasm first. She could have exclaimed “hey, that’s great!” before going on to lecture Amy…

I was wondering if Alice’s character shift was a conscious decision on your part. It does seem more in Pamela’s character to be wild and act rashly and get pregnant, and more in Alice’s character to think before she acts and avoid having sex (even just barely), but is Alice too good and too smart to make serious mistakes? Is she so good that she is every other character’s moral beacon? Is this part of Alice’s character development, to show how much more mature she’s gotten? I think she’s surpassed her friends at this point. Do you feel any pressure from your publisher or your reader base to convert Alice into a squeaky-clean role model?

Well, best wishes. I’m looking forward to the next book, and sad that the series will be over soon.

Phyllis replied:

You have a valid point and there are others who agree with you. My editor usually pushes me in the direction of wilder behavior for Alice rather than better. It all probably has to do with the character that has formed in my mind. I’ve raised her, so to speak, since she was in third grade, in “Starting with Alice,” and with every book, knowing her mind as intimately as anyone’s, I can only have her do what I feel would be natural for her. If the story were from the point of view of another character, it might be entirely different. I know normal, living, breathing girls who are as much or more “squeaky clean” as Alice, and I know normal girls who are far more adventurous. I do think that as Alice grows older, she will act and think more maturely. But as you will see in “Alice in Charge,” due out in another week or so, she makes several mistakes, one careless, and one premeditated. Regarding Amy, I think you are correct. I was checking the books for something else, and in reading previous descriptions of Amy, found that I’m not consistent in describing her behavior or her understanding. I simply didn’t know this character enough in my mind when I introduced her to do justice to her, and now have to stick to the character she became as the books progressed. My fault entirely.

Thanks for a well-written letter. I’m glad that you’ve stuck with the series for so long. Please do remember, however, that not all girls error by drinking or having sex or trying pot–these kinds of behaviors. Some error, as Alice does, in hasty judgement, impulsive decisions, revenge motives and such. Rebellion and disobedience can take many forms, and many girls don’t smoke or drink, not for any moral reason, but because it just doesn’t appeal. We need to be careful of stereotypes–the feeling that all girls want to drink, all girls want to try smoking, etc. Alice would far rather jump into bed with Patrick, but she hasn’t had much luck in that department.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Does Alice Die?

Question:

IS IT TRUE CAUSE I SAW THIS ONE GIRL SAID THAT IN UR NEXT BOOK THE FINAL BOOK ALICE IS GOING TO DIE

IS THAT TRUE! N HOW DID SHE KNOW SHE DIDED N IF YOU KILL ALICE THATS VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD SAD SAD WAY TO END IT WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR SHE MARRIED PATRICK N HAD KIDS N READ HER LETTER THAT SHE WROTE IN 5GRADE THAT SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO READ WHEN SHE WAS 60 BUT DIEING DIENG! WE ALREADY HAD ______ DIED N THATS WAS JUST SAD MADE ME CRY IT REALLY DID BUT ALICE NO U CANT JUST KILL HER!

Phyllis replied:

In the final Alice book, Always Alice, that will come out in 2013, ALICE DOES NOT DIE!!!!! Period.

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Could Never Really Talk About It

Question:

I just graduated from high school a couple of weeks ago. I also just finished reading Intensely Alice about 5 minutes ago. I knew after reading it I had to email you and let you know how much this book really helped me. About a year and a half ago my mother passed away and it left me with many questions about God. At first when Shelley and the rest of them were having their discussion it kinda of reminded me of the conflict I had within myself after she died. Then after Mark passed away and Alice decided she didn’t believe then decided that she was just unsure, I realized that was exactly how I felt for about a year after everything with Mama. Only in the last year have I really been able to really find peace with everything that happened. I began going to church more often and that helped answer a lot of the questions I had. I’ve always felt like I could relate to Alice in some way or another, but never like I could in this book. Everything froom her feelings toward God to her senior year and wondering what would happen afterward was very similar to what I felt when it all happened to me. I’ve been reading Alice books since I was in the sixth grade, but the way I felt after this book I knew I had to email you to thank you. It was nice to see that other people have experienced the same feelings I have, especially about the death of someone close to you and God’s roll in it. Its such a sensitive subject for everyone, I never felt like I could really talk about it with anybody. Thank you so much. OH! and I hope you continue to write Alice books for years to come. You should have seen me when I saw Intensely Alice in our public library! I almost had a heart attack! Anyway, thanks again for helping girls like me know that there is someone who can relate to the problems in our lives. It really means a lot.

Phyllis replied:

I very much appreciated your letter. When authors write, we know what our material means to us but we don’t always know how it will resonate with the readers. It’s wonderful to know that this particular book meant so much to you, and I wish you the very best in all that comes next.

Posted on: June 6, 2010

Alice’s Death?

Question:

You said the final Alice book is coming out in 2013. Are you going to write about Alice’s death, from another character’s point of view?

Phyllis replied:

No.

Posted on: June 6, 2010

NOTE FROM PHYLLIS

Hey! Sorry I haven’t kept up with email this past week, but we had a grand anniversary celebration here with both sons and their families, and I wanted every minute I could get with them. I know you’ll understand. We swam, talked, played shuffleboard, talked, ate ice cream, talked, went biking, hiking, played games, told stories, read books, met friends, visited a restaurant, opened presents, and had a marvelous time.

One of our sons made a funny DVD about our marriage, doing the narration himself. The other created three CDs of favorite love songs for us to enjoy. I loved discussing school and college and summer plans with Sophia and Tressa, and taking young Garrett and Beckett down into the “deep, dark dungeon” of our apartment building’s storage area, where we turned out the lights and played hide and seek. Because we all live in different parts of the country, it’s a special treat when all ten of us can be together. Give me another day or two to recuperate and I promise to get to your email questions soon. In the meantime, I hope that school is out for most of you, and that your summer plans are happy ones.

Posted on: June 4, 2010