Your Questions Answered

Jobs for a 13-year-old

Question:

I’ve read your books and tell you the truth-they are amazing. 🙂
Phyllis, since I’ve saw you helping so many people with their troubles, I have an intention of asking you to help me with this problem that I am now facing.
I am 13 years old, and I do tuition for Theory(Music) . One day, when I was having class, my teacher behaved suddenly so cruel and abusive to me. She yelled, scolded and demanded me when I was doing my work. Whenever I do a mistake, she will yell at me, then push my hand away from the book and rub of all my work. I have no idea why did she became to scary. It was because of that, I wanted so desperately to change teachers. I wanted my piano teacher to teach my theory instead, but it’s just that her charge of fees is quite high but I really, desperately wanted her to teach me but I don’t have the money to pay her. I then was so desperate to find a job(any job) to earn money for the tuition fees. Can suggest a job for a 13 year old??

As for my old teacher, I have no intention of seeing her again. I’ve also asked around why is she suddenly so violent and did many things. But I couldn’t find an answer and I just don’t want to go back and see her again. All I ask for, Phyllis, is you to suggest me a job for a 13 year old. It can be any job.

Phyllis replied:

I don’t know where you live or what is available in your community, nor do I know what things you do well. I would love for readers to help me out here and suggest jobs that other 13 year-olds do in their own neighborhoods. Look around you and ask what needs to be done. Baby-sitting? Weeding? Watering plants? Taking dogs for walks? Mowing grass? Scrubbing porches? Helping out at children’s birthday parties? Think what you like to do and what you do best. Then post notices on community bulletin boards and tell neighbors that you are available.

Posted on: May 24, 2010

Should I Tell My Mom and Dad?

Question:

ok so my lil brother is what 11 going on 12 and he like the good kid

shy one too but then i look at his phone and he has pictures he hads pictures of girls..in binkis and showing hardly nothing

and it really hurts to know he that type of guy and i know you proably going to say he growing up and all that but what do i do tell my mom and dad hey look at your son phone beacuse i think he tooo young to be looking at that stuff

part of me wants to tell so he will never do that again

the 2 part is telling me he growing up and i have to let him grow

cuz he a guy and all but i dont know what to do =[

what will you do

Phyllis replied:

I’m not sure if you’re telling me that your younger brother is looking at very sexy pictures of women or if he is looking at hard-core porn. If they are mostly sexy pictures of women wearing very little or perhaps no clothing, I think I would keep his privacy. I would also tell him what you’ve seen on his phone and how you came to be snooping, but unless he is looking at really far-out pornography, which would probably give him a very distorted view of sex, or–more troubling to me–would be pictures of sexual violence toward women, I’d chalk this up to his nearing puberty and getting interested, mentally and physically, in sexual feelings. My guess is that his knowing that big sister is keeping an eye on him might keep his sexual “peeping” within normal limits.

Posted on: May 24, 2010

Mom’s Rule About Boys

Question:

I would just like to let you know that I am your biggest fan. Just 1 month ago, I friend of mine introduced me to The Alice Books, and since then I have read almost all of them! I am 12 years old, and have been facing many issues in my family, and life. I would like to thank you for providing young readers like me with such amazing books! Oh, and in case you were wondering, my favorite book so far is Alice in Lace. My teacher just recently had us do almost the exact same project. Ok, so I do have a question. Are ya’ll planing on making any more movies based on the books? I have already seen Alice upside down, and really enjoyed it! Ok, so I know that you aren’t like a counselor or anything, but I was wondering if I could get your advice on a little ‘issue’ I am having. So here’s the deal… My mom has this rule that I’m not even allowed to think about guys till I’m20. Well.. Last year there was this guy in my class who I really liked… Long story short… He’s in my class again, and he’s 15. (this class is for kids 5th-12th grade) Do you have any advice as to what I should do? I think he likes me, ’cause when I called him the “Anti-Britt”, as usual, (long story by the way,) he called me British Lover. HE’S 50% BRITISH! I haven’t told my mom yet. You are about the only person I can trust with this ‘problem’, and I don’t really even know you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply to my email.

I can’t wait to hear back from you,

Phyllis replied:

As far as I know, there are no new Alice movies planned at present. Regarding your problem, if my mom said I couldn’t even think about boys till I was 20, I’d be thinking about them 24/7. There is a big age difference between a 12 year old girl and a 15 year old guy. The older people get, the less it matters. But right now, that’s probably a lot. I think he enjoys flirting with you and vice versa. I’m not sure what your problem is, because you’re not even talking about going out with him. But nobody can keep you from thinking about someone, and personally, I think you should enjoy your fantasies and have fun teasing each other in class. Having friends is not a crime. Thinking about love is not a crime. Thinking about friends loving each other, even when they’re three years apart in age, is not a crime. And ask your mom at what age she had her first boyfriend.

Posted on: May 11, 2010

My Parents Don’t Know About This

Question:

So, our grade went to an environmental camp for a week last week. It was great fun!! And the boy, the one that sent me the e-mail, was of course there, and at some point he ended up asking me to go with him. I said sure. Later I found out my friend told him to ask me to the movies. He did, right in front of everyone, and I said sure again. Then my friends ran off giggling. It was sort of awkward and we just said good-bye and walked away from each other.

Then, later, while the whole camp was playing an epic game that happened all across the campus, we randomly ran into each other and teamed up. He then, out of nowhere, asked what movie I wanted to see, and I said, “I don’t know.”

I really, really like this guy. He’s basically my best guy friend and we’ve known each other for a while. My parents have heard of him (they only know we’re friends, except for when I once told my mom I liked him — but later, out of fear I’d said too much, told her I’d changed my mind) and my dad has met him once before, at open house night at school. That’s the problem: my parents don’t know anything about this. I’m not sure about his parents, but his mom is a substitute teacher at our school and I know her pretty well, and I’ve met his dad too. I’m eleven years old and earlier this year my dad told me I could start dating when I’m 12. I’ll turn twelve in a few months. Anyway, I don’t want to wait that long! I don’t think I should tell my parents, but still, how would I go to the movies? I really wouldn’t like lying to them — I love them and have never taken them for granted. So what should I do?

Phyllis replied:

So far so good. Even though your friends set him up to ask you out, he obviously showed signs of liking you which prompted them to do it. You sound as though you have a good relationship with your parents, but now you want to go out with this boy. Here’s the way to score points all around: Tell your parents this boy whom you like, and think they would like, has asked you to go to the movies, that they’ve said you can’t go out until you’re twelve, so you would like to invite him and a few of your friends over for a pizza party, to watch a new DVD, to play a game….whatever you want. They should be impressed that you are letting them in on your life, not keeping secrets, and hopefully, they’ll say yes. (They certainly should! This gives them a chance to see what kind of boy likes their daughter, and what kind of boy their daughter is attracted to!) Then tell the boy that your parents are a little old-fashioned, you can’t go out with him till you’re twelve, but you’re having some friends over for pizza, and could he come? If you start off on the wrong foot and go to the movies with him without your parents knowing, they might eventually find out and this will start you off on a very mistrustful relationship for your teen years.

Posted on: May 11, 2010

Do You Read What You Write?

Question:

Do you read the books you write? Like ones that you wrote a while back, or recent ones?

Phyllis replied:

I often go back and reread a book I wrote perhaps five years before. I like to see if I would have changed anything if I were writing it now. Generally I find something I would do a little differently, and that makes me feel good, because it means I’m still growing and learning.

Posted on: May 11, 2010

When I’m Nervous

Question:

Whenever I’m around a guy that I like I get really nervous. My heart starts to race and my hands will start to shake. This is a very big give away that I like them. I was wondering, do you know any ways of keeping calm when you are nervous? I’m supposed to hang out with this guy that I like, and I’m worried that when I go to hug him my heart is going to be beating really hard (it beats so hard that I can see my chest moving)… That’ll be soo embarrassing! Any ideas of what I could do?

Oh and this isn’t just when I’m nervous. It happens when I’m really excited too… I guess I’m just not very good at hiding my emotions.

Phyllis replied:

Why are you trying to hide it? How do you know this isn’t part of your charm, your individuality? If a guy hugged you and you could feel his heart beating fast, wouldn’t you be flattered? For all you know,your beating heart turns him on.

Posted on: May 11, 2010

Do I Wait Till Next Year?

Question:

i have a question for as u know im in eight grade and graduation coming very soon

and im really looking forward to it but my biggest concern is my not so really so call frined lets call her J beacuse like

she gets mad soooo easily so if i say something even a lil thing she be mad at me like she wont even want to be friends or something like it of course i dont really mind but we hang out with the same people so she cant really kick me out of the group…but like she cant having me leaving her as if she some kinda princess that controls eveything..cuz i feel that i have to make her feell what she wants feel like if she happy she cant be mad ;dont make fun of sometihng unless she does

and with the others in the group i feel like soo normal and i dont have to act an cetarin way you know but still do i tell this girl the way she acting or wait till next year when im in highschool to hopefully meet new people with people i dont have to worry about wat they think of me>?

Phyllis replied:

Hearing about this drama queen makes me wonder why you want to be friends with her in the first place. I think I would walk away the minute she starts her whining and spend my time with someone else. My guess is that when you get to high school–and you will definitely make new friends there–you will wonder how you stood her this long.

Posted on: May 6, 2010

Why Does It Take So Long?

Question:

i just cant wait till june when alice in charge comes out why does it take so long if the book is alredy written?

Phyllis replied:

There is SO much to do even after the book is written. First it has to go through several revisions, after the editor sees it; then the copy-editor checks it for dates, names, permissions, errors, punctuation, spelling and zillions of other things; then the editor or I reads it all over again to make sure the copy-editor’s questions are answered; then it goes to the art department and the design people to think about the cover, the type, the whole look of the book; then my editor sends me various ideas for the jacket and we discuss that; then it goes to the printer; then we have to read the galleys; then an advance paperback copy goes out to reviewers; then it goes to the distributor who takes it to bookstores…. I’ve probably left out a lot of steps, but I have more emails to answer tonight. Hope that answers your question!

Posted on: May 6, 2010

What Motivates You?

Question:

I’ve already told you how much I love the Alice series, and I figured I would probably love your other storied too. I looked up your books on Amazon and the book Jade Green really interested me b/c I love ghost stories. The problem was, I couldn’t find any of your books other than Alice at the library or bookstores (don’t ask me why, I thought everyone who reads has heard of you =) ). Eventually I found Jade Green, Sang Spell, and Blizzards Wake at an Edward McKay’s bookstore. Well, I read Jade Green first and it was SO good. At first I wasn’t sure if I would like it because of old fashioned way of speaking that the characters have, but it didn’t make a difference. It was a GREAT book. Now I’m reading Sang Spell. I’m still close to the beginning, but it’s just as captivating as everything else you’ve written that I’ve read. You are such an inspiration. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I hadn’t really been pursuing it. I suppose I haven’t been motivated enough. But then I started reading your books and it got me going again. I still don’t write as often as I should, but I do have 2 jobs and I’m tired a lot. I know I have to get serious about writing sooner or later because that’s what I want to do with my life. What motivates you to write when you’re tired and you just don’t feel like doing anything?

Phyllis replied:

If you are working two jobs, I wonder that you have strength for anything else. I guess I’m motivated because when a good story is churning inside of me, it’s like a rock in my shoe; I just can’t wait to get it out. I enjoy what I’m doing, even when it’s hard. The only caution I will give you is to make sure you want to write, not just that you want to be a writer. You must really be in love with the process itself. And if this is true for you, I imagine you will eventually find the time to do it, or adjust your schedule in a way that allows you a little time each day to see what you can do. Best of luck!

Posted on: May 6, 2010

Your Books

Question:

i never read books but one day i looked at your book blizzards wake and i thought it looked good and so i asked the teacher if i can change my author Gary paulson to Phyllis/you so she said OK ill give you an extra week so i can start over so i read it and i would not put it down i took it to restaurants why’ll i was waiting for food i read it to my parents before bed time sometimes i pretended to be asleep so i can read myself to sleep i read at school on the bus in class it was so good i finished it in a week then i read send no blessings cause we have to read 3 books by the same author it was really good i like how Beth has seven siblings and she prays to god to send no more blessings and it came true but not the way she wanted it to happen the third book i read was night cry it was really really good best one i read in my life i like how she goes to save the 4 yr old boy and finds out its Gerald Alma’s boy the old women who likes to be called granny Bo i just finished that book last week I’m going to order the book faith, hope and ivy June I’m waiting for it to come in the mail ill write you almost everyday saying what i think about the book so far. i don’t care how old you r 77 isn’t that old my great grandma is turning 85 and i will always like you and love your books i will bye all of them if i can ill read them read them to my baby sister when she gets older read them when i have kids read them to my grand kids and die with the books maybe not die with them but give them to my family to read to their siblings

Phyllis replied:

Wow! You are a serious fan! I’m so glad you like my books. So I will seriously suggest you read “Jade Green: A Ghost Story,” “A String of Chances,” “Ice,” and “The Agony of Alice.” Enjoy!

Posted on: May 3, 2010