Your Questions Answered
Question:
I have to do a job for the school where I have to make a book.
I had made the Alice number 9.
You could give me some tips please?
Phyllis replied:
Hey, it’s your assignment, not mine.
Posted on: March 27, 2010
Question:
Wanted to let you know that I am a huge fan of your books. I didn’t read the Alice books in order, but I’ve read them all up to date and can’t wait for the next! Anyways I just recently reread “Alice Alone”, because I can relate to it for sure. My boyfriend and I broke up recently, and he said that the reason he broke up with me was because I lived too far away (we live a half hour apart). Now, he’s dating a girl who lives in the same area as me. It’s hurts really badly to see them walking around town together because I still love him, and he dumped me right after I’d driven 30 minutes out of my way to go see his band’s show. He told me a bunch of times that he still loved me but that the distance made it too hard to maintain a relationship, but his new girlfriend goes to my school and lives a few blocks away from me. Now he’s saying that he “never broke up with me because of the distance”, so I asked him, “Well if it wasn’t the distance, then why DID we break up?” and he snapped, “I don’t wanna talk about it. Use your imagination”. It just hurts for him to talk to me like that after I was always there for him and I was the one who ALWAYS went to his band’s shows. I guess I wasn’t really writing to you for advice, but just someone to talk to. Thanks for listening Phyllis, and I hope one day I can be as talented as you.
Phyllis replied:
Yes, it hurts. There’s no way a break-up doesn’t hurt unless the two people in a relationship decide at the exact same time that it’s over and that there is something or somebody else waiting just around the corner. I know that it’s natural to want to know “why,” but when someone breaks up with you, it’s rare that you know the whole reason. He was obviously trying to make it easier on you by saying it was the “distance,” and he “still loved you” and whatever else he could come up with. Chances are he was simply attracted to someone else, or wanted the freedom to go out with other girls, and he figured that eventually you’d get the point and that would be that. He was irritated that you didn’t accept the break-up and kept pushing him into telling you he liked someone else better. So now you know, and you can quit asking him, and you can also realize that some day the shoe will be on the other foot. You’ll be going out with someone for a while who likes you a lot, and gradually you’ll realize he likes you more than you like him, and that you want to go out with other guys. And you’ll agonize how best to tell him, and you probably won’t tell him the whole truth. Almost everyone is going to experience the agony of being rejected in one way or the other. It’s part of life. Pick yourself up and get interested in the whole rest of your life.
Posted on: March 27, 2010
Question:
Hi! I’ve never written to u before, but i do have a question, and who else to ask but my fave author ever!?
Well, i was dating this boy who was 17 and i was 14. he only wanted me for sex, but i didnt know that until he dumped me when i refused to have sex with him. now i am very depressed becazuse i really liked him alot and i didnt kno he just wanted to use me. I have even started cutting myself with siscors, and it sucks. what should i do?
Phyllis replied:
Well, stop cutting yourself, for one. Why, after you’ve suffered one trauma, do you hurt yourself even more? Did you ever hear of “being your own best friend?” I know you really liked this guy, but frankly, if I found out a guy had dumped me because I wouldn’t have sex, I would have congratulated myself for standing up for ME, and taken myself to the movies. Here’s the thing: when you show you respect yourself and you have the self confidence to do it, word gets around. Sure, some of the other guys who find out about it will save themselves the trouble of going out with you too. But there are always going to be people who are attracted to you for that very reason. Every time you act in a manner that isn’t really “you,” just to be popular or get someone to like you, you are also turning off people you don’t even know about who would like you better as you are.
Posted on: March 27, 2010
Question:
Dear Phyllis, is it bad to try using a tampon? I want to try but every time I attempt it my hands shake and I have to put on my glasses to see! I am very curious about using a tampon, and I want to know, is it bad to try it out before you get your period? Or is it unusual or weird?
Phyllis replied:
It’s not bad or weird or unusual to be curious. But inserting a tampon for the first time is usually awkward and not too successful, and if you are already nervous about using one, trying it now, before you are menstruating and slippery, you’ll just be more frustrated. Tampons don’t go in or come out easily if you aren’t slippery. If I were you, I’d wait for my period and would use pads at first, then try tampons, junior size. If you are simply curious about where your vagina is, you can explore with your finger. Boys have it a lot easier in some ways than girls because they can see exactly what they’ve got. Many, many girls have no real picture of what is down there, where the blood comes out, where the urine comes out, and where the clitoris is located. And it isn’t weird or unusual or bad to take a hand mirror sometime and peek.
Posted on: March 23, 2010
Question:
hi, I was wondering if, when you post the e-mails that fans send you, you could add some kind of warning if there is going to be a spoiler for one of the books in it. Because I haven’t read Intensely Alice yet, but I now know that one of the characters is killed in Intensely Alice, and I have a sneaking suspicion I know who it is. If you can, then thank you.
Phyllis replied:
It can be a problem, I know. It’s hard to figure out just how long after a book is published before we can fully discuss what happens in it. So far I have not mentioned the name of the person who dies, and for a while after it was published, I didn’t even mention that. Perhaps I can add a “spoiler alert” to a question, but I’ll have to decide how much to hold back and how much we can talk about.
Posted on: March 23, 2010
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your books. I remember the book report I did on “The Agony of Alice” in third grade (a poster board with a construction paper door that opened to show Alice in her underwear!) and now I’m 25 years old and still reading your books. I always pre-order the books on Amazon, and I’ll reread a few of the books in the series at least once a year. The books are so truthful and genuine and even though Alice isn’t perfect, she is thoughtful and honest and a good role model for any girl. Reading the books always reminds me of my childhood and even my childhood of reading the books and is comforting somehow. Someday when I’m a mother I will give the series to my daughter. I don’t know if writing ever gets tedious, but I just wanted to make sure that you know that your work is meaningful and important to so many people, and I wanted to make sure to thank you for doing it.
Phyllis replied:
I so appreciated your letter. It’s comments like these that have kept the series going all these years. I loved hearing about that project you did for school about Alice in her underwear. That must have been a lot of fun for you. Thanks for being such a loyal reader.
Posted on: March 19, 2010
Question:
I have recentley written to you but something came up and i need advice.
On monday i found out that my best friend, parents are seperating. She has allways lived in a “perfect family” lifestyle, and it was such a shock. All i could really do was listen, and my guess is someone cheated on someone, much like in outragiousley alice when pams parents seperate. of course we repeated the whole scenerio, crying and all. it was so depressing. i dont really know what else to do. her parents were like mine and i practically lived with them. How can i help her? she is so sad all the time and i really want to help her! thanks!
Phyllis replied:
We always wish we could do or say exactly the right thing to make someone feel better, but there is nothing you can do or say that will solve this family’s problem. What you can do is listen, again and again and again, even though your friend may go over the same thing, always wondering if it was this or it was that which made her parents decide to separate. It’s also good to remind yourself that there is no perfect family, just as there aren’t perfect people, and the face they show in public may not be the way it is at home. No one really knows what goes on inside a marriage except the two people in it, and it’s better not to speculate on what was wrong. Just listen to your friend, tell her you can only imagine how she feels, but I wouldn’t ask prying questions. It sounds to me as though you are already trying to be a good friend to her, and I’m glad she has you.
Posted on: March 19, 2010
Question:
I don’t mean to interupt your great writing ( i am the girl who wrote to you a LONG time ago)but see i was wondering what do you think is the most important thing a young girl would NEED to know about writing?????????????
Because in journals and stuff I always end up thinking i did something wrong and throw it in the trash. I would rather write you but this is shorter By the way I am 10 years old (just turned 10) and want to be a faumous( dont know how to spell some things)
writer. I was so excited to get a real email back from an author Especially a real good one !!
Phyllis replied:
Perhaps the best thing you could know right now is that it’s more of a help if you write because you just love putting stories down on paper, not that you want to be famous. If your main goal is to be a “famous” writer, then you may try to copy books which have made an author famous, rather than writing something more original that has its roots in your own emotions and experience.
Posted on: March 19, 2010
| Question:
I just wanted to give an example of literal thinking for people with autism or Asperger’s. When I would hear “wow, this room looks like a pig sty!” I would think to myself No it doesn’t. Pigs have a fence and mud. I have walls, and a floor. |
Phyllis replied:
And this must make it very hard for you, because we often speak symbolically instead of literally. I’m sure that every reader can think of dozens of ways that ordinary conversation makes it difficult for people with Asperger’s syndrome. Thank you for writing.
Posted on: March 19, 2010
Question:
Hey does Alice end up marring Patrick or does she end up with some one else?
Phyllis replied:
Any long-time Alice fan will tell you that I would NEVER answer that question until the very last book.
Posted on: March 18, 2010
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