But He Already Has a Girlfriend

Question:

I love your alice books of course, but i have a situation. maybe you could help?

So there is this guy, lets call him alex, in my history class. we had to do this assignment and we could have partners. i didnt know anyone in that class so i was just planning on being alone. but then he came accross the room and asked me to be his parner! that probably dosent sound like a big deal to you but it was for me cus i don’t even know him and he has lots of friends in that class from football that he could have asked. so anyway, we really hit it off and we talk all the time. then one day i was reading the school newspapper and he jokingley took it away and then started reading me stuff. then he showed me this article and goes “my girlfriend wrote this one”. i didnt know he had a girlfriend so i was pretty sad. tonight we had our homecoming game so we dressed up for school. at the end of class we were talking and he asked me to fix his blue and gold bandana (our school colors) so i did and i fixed his hair and we were so close and it was great! like all the girls in my class were watching with jelousy which was amazing. i have never had a guy flirt with me much, i have just stepped out of that akward stage and now i have so much more confidence. so anyway, i looked at pics of him and his girl on facebook, and they are so cute together and she is so pretty! i am so jelous. but he seems to send me mixed signals. Why is he so flirty if he has a girlfriend? they have been going out for a year. it almost makes me cry when i see “i love you brittany!” on his profile and pics of them holding hands. sorry for going off like this, i just spilled my guts. anyway, i would love it if you wrote back!

Phyllis replied:

I think it’s obvious that he likes you, and it’s also quite possible that he still loves his girlfriend. Or perhaps he’s cooling on his girlfriend and is finding his attraction to you pretty interesting. It’s hard, I know, when you get mixed signals. You don’t want to be a third party messing up a relationship, but you don’t want to turn off a guy who might be your next boyfriend. Stay friendly but not flirtatious, and if he gets to the point of asking you out, ask him quite openly how things stand with him and his girlfriend; tell him that you don’t want to cause trouble between them. You have that right.

Posted on: September 25, 2010