Cutting Myself

Phyllis replied:

Well, stop cutting yourself, for one.  Why, after you’ve suffered one trauma, do you hurt yourself even more?  Did you ever hear of “being your own best friend?”  I know you really liked this guy, but frankly, if I found out a guy had dumped me because I wouldn’t have sex, I would have congratulated myself for standing up for ME, and taken myself to the movies.  Here’s the thing:  when you show you respect yourself and you have the self confidence to do it, word gets around.  Sure, some of the other guys who find out about it will save themselves the trouble of going out with you too.  But there are always going to be people who are attracted to you for that very reason.  Every time you act in a manner that isn’t really “you,” just to be popular or get someone to like you, you are also turning off people you don’t even know about who would like you better as you are.