Do You Think We Can Be Together?

Question:

I really like your Alice books.  My favorite ones are the ones from when Alice and her friends are in 7th and 8th grade. One thing I love about the stories is that Alice was always a little bit older than me, and this gave me a preview of what future years would be like.  I think that Alice, Elizabeth and Pamela are the funniest girls ever.  Gwen, Patrick and everyone else are also fun to read about.  You are a really talented story-teller.

One other thing that I wanted to tell you about is this gigantic crush I have on my physical therapist.  He is so adorable and beautiful and fun.  I love him so much and I think we are supposed to be together.  See,first I broke my leg, then I needed physical therapy, then my mom sent me to two P.T’s but their were little problems with them about insurance and other stuff so we switched.  Then, finally I ended up at this physical therapy place.  At first my mom wanted the girl P.T for me but she was busy and Doug said he could do it.  Then on his side, he grew up in Indiana then he moved here right by where I lived.  Thats alot of coincidences.  I wonder so much what he thinks of me.  Some signs that he does like me are that when their weren’t people around he held my hands for balence.  He might have just done this so I don’t fall. But, their is this excersis piece that could work just as well as a hand so mabey its significant that he held my hand.  Also when we were talking about college parties he said that he couldn’t tell me now what went on at them.  But then he said I’ll tell you when you’re older.  That means he plans on seeing me again right?  Also on my last day their he said he would miss my smiley, pretty face.  That has to mean omething right?  This is kind of a corny thing to say but that is the best compliment i’ve ever gotten because it came from him.   I guess my question is that eventhough we can’t really be together now because i”m fifteen and he’s twenty-six, do you think when I’m older we can be together.  I really love him and sometimes I think he feels the same way, but other times I feel he likes me only as a little kid.  Also I miss him so much and I wonder if you have any tips on how to make missing him less difficult.  Thanks for listening to my e-mail, you give really great advice.  You’re are my favorite author.

Phyllis replied:

It’s hard, isn’t it, to really, really like someone and to imagine yourselves together, but to also see the reality of a situation.  I think he enjoys your company, finds you pretty, knows you like him, gets a kick out of teasing you a little, but yes, an 11 year difference, at this age, is huge.  As people grow older and more self-confident about who they are, age matters less.  But right now, you have a whole lot of growing and experiencing to do, while he has a whole life and group of friends you know nothing about.  It may help you to think of him as an important part of your life at one point–you got a glimpse of the kind of man you would like to have a relationship with, you know how it feels to be comfortable with a guy, you know to expect tenderness and consideration, and these are all part of the growing up experience.  You’ll want to look for these same qualities in a boy closer to your own age.  But guys your age have a lot of growing up to do also.