Don’t Want to Hurt Her Feelings

Question:

I am a sophomore in high school, and I’m also a REALLY big fan of your alice series.

I have a typical question, so if you have time, please reply back. Well, there is this guy that I really really like, but he is a senior, and one of my friends who went out with him still likes him but doesn’t want to go back out with him. He is one of my friends, and he is always super nice to me and gives me hugs. And some of my friends think he’s flirting with me, but I highly doubt it. What should I do? I dont’t want to tell my friend because she might hate me, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings either.

Phyllis replied:

She has a copyright on him or something?  What’s up with her not wanting to go out with him but not wanting anyone else to either?   Perhaps you were telling me that he broke up with her and she still likes him and dreams about getting back together.  If this is the case, I can see your reluctance.  Since you like him and he seems to like you, and right now you just have a f riendly relationship, why don’t you just continue as you are and see what happens?  If things get more serious and your girlfriend asks about it, tell her that you started out as friends, and it’s developing into something more.  You can’t shield her forever from life; not everyone likes everyone else, and when a couple breaks up, there is usually one person more hurt than the other.  Tell her this may happen to her someday, and she’ll be in the same position you are now.