Drifting Apart

Question:

I have this friend, and we have been best friends since first grade. Suddenly, at the beginning of the school year, she drifted apart from us and started hanging out with this exclusive, mean girl. Later, I found out from my friend that she invited everyone to her sleepover but me. She said mean things abou me and formed a plan to get revenge on me the next day. We don’t talk to each other much now, and this might sound crazy, but I sort of miss her. I don’t know what to do about this, and am really confused and lonely and sad. I know you get hundreds of fan mail everyday, but this is really important. Could you possibly give me some advice on how to deal with this?

Phyllis replied:

There seems to be part of the story missing here: she formed a plan to get revenge for what? I can understanding missing the friend she once was to you, and perhaps part of her anger is her knowledge that you don’t approve of her new friend. Whatever, to renew your friendship with her or/and to understand her, you need to figure out what’s eating her, and what your part might play in all this.

Posted on: December 20, 2009