Excited and Sad at the Same Time

Phyllis replied:

Your email interested me in particular because Alice feels exactly the same way you do in the book I’m writing now, “Incredibly Alice,” which will come out next June.  Regarding college she is sad, scared, excited….well, I’ll let you read the story.  I think one reason you’re thinking about this guy is that you’re wishing you had some of those good feelings back right now.  When we’re worried or nervous about something, happy times in the past seem almost perfect.  About all I can tell you is that making the transfer from childhood to adulthood is, in addition to being exciting, a type of mourning.  You are giving up some things–maternal comforting, security and dependence, childish fun–many things that you truly enjoyed. And although you don’t want to go back to being a little child, you do miss the perks that went with it, some of them, anyway.  Be honest with yourself and what you miss, and remember that this is a common and normal feeling among kids facing college.  There are times you want that mother’s hug.  The dad’s encouragement.  The sibling’s teasing.  The hot dinner.  The clean sheets.  Normal, normal, normal, normal, normal.  If you still feel that way often once you get to college, most schools have support groups you can join of kids who are feeling exactly the same way, and it’s a good place to make friends.