Fat/thin

Question:
 All around me, girl’s are always complaining how ‘fat’ they are and how ‘gross’ they look. This isn’t just my close friends, but girls in my classes and my neighbors are constantly talking about how they are fat and need to lose weight.A lot of them are very skinny girls, and I am curvy and have a full figure and I feel bad all the time. I don’t know how to keep my self esteem up when girls 30 pounds skinner than me are talking about how gross there bodies are. If they think they are fat they must think i am gigantic! I don’t know what to do and how to stay positive about these thigns.

 

Phyllis replied:

 

First, we have to accept that there are several ways to view your body: what girlfriends think of it, what guys think of it, what the doctor thinks of it, and how you yourself feel about it, and all four may be entirely different.  What is considered beautiful and sexy in one culture can seem over (or under) the top in another.  To many people, and I’m one of them, some of the models in fashion magazines-especially of teenage girls–appear to be prisoners of war, with bony shoulders and knees and stick-like arms and legs.  But extremely overweight people have me worrying about the effects on their heart and lungs and knees.  Somewhere, just recently, I came across an experiment in which men were supposed to rate photos of women according to their sexiness; it was not the super thin women who were chosen the most, but photos of rather voluptuous women.  If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t worry about whether other girls considered me thin or fat.  And I would keep in mind that for every figure on earth, there are men who appreciate that type of woman, if it’s romance you have in mind.