Hard to Communicate

Question:

hey p….i’ve been ur fan since the 6th grade…..but then i got distracted during the 8th grade but now im obsessed w/ alice all over again…i cant wait till the last book…im readin almost Alice AGAIN..anyways idk wats wrong w/ me. its becoming really hard for me to communicate w/ others…especially w/ boys. im starting to have a low self esteem. its lyk wen i talk to them i feel lyk they r not interested in me its not tat im ugly or anything lol…..i cant really open up n talk 2 them..i feel lyk i try so hard n they can see it. even wen im chatting w/ them on line….its jss so weird…i use to be confident. it gets me mad cuz i feel lyk i can never have a normal.relationship. every tym i meet a new person every thing goes well for a while then it stops. and when i say a new person i meant a boy.idk wat to do. can u help me??

Phyllis replied:

I’d bet there are a dozen guys who have the very same problem. The difference between now and how things used to be–when you didn’t feel so awkward–is that you are probably looking at guys now in a different way. There was a time a boy was just a boy, you didn’t much care how he felt about you. Now it’s different. Whether you see a guy as a potential boyfriend or not, you are probably very eager to make a good impression. And you may feel the same with girls–you want to belong, to be part of the group–you don’t want them talking about you. And they can sense you’re trying very hard. Try to get yourself back in the simple “friendship” mode. Join a group or a club or a team centered about a certain activity–one that has both guys and girls. When you’re focusing on something else–doing a project together–it’s so much easier to communicate than when you are trying hard to “make” conversation.

Posted on: July 27, 2009