He Wouldn’t Be Cheating on his Girlfriend, Would He?

Question:

first i wanna tell you how much i love your books. i can’t wait to read Intensly Alice. my town being small and not having a place to buy books except for Wal-Mart, i have to wait till i get to a book store.
i need help with a problem i’m having. theres a boy i like and we talk a lot on facebook and text and talk a bit in our Tae Kwon Do class. but he has a girlfriend and he talks to me sometimes until 11:30 at night! he told someone we both know last night that he didnt want to hurt his girlfriend and that i was amazing. i showed him i liked him, and i even said i only got nervous in front of guys i like and that i was nervous. he just said thanks but i think he did because of the girlfriend issue. what should i do about this? should i continue to talk to him? maybe even hang out with him? i’m not sure because he wouldnt be cheating on his girlfriend, wouldnt it?
once again, i love your books! keep writting.

Phyllis replied:

The Golden Rule applies here too, girls.  “Do unto others, etc….”   If you were this guy’s girlfriend, would you want another girl, who likes him too, hanging out with him?  Certainly everyone is allowed to have friends, whether he has a girlfriend or not.  Your talking with him casually does not put him in the cheating category, but unless and until he is “single” again, you shouldn’t be flirting with him, and you know when you’re crossing the line.  You’ve already told him you like him, and he seems quite conscious of the fact that he has a girlfriend.  I would nix the long conversations, and tell him quite frankly that you don’t want to come between him and his girlfriend.  If he decides he wants you more than the girlfriend, that will have to be his move to make, and his responsibility to let her know.