Homesickness

Question:

I will be starting college in the fall, and I am so scared and nervous. I want to be able to prove to my parents that I am mature enough to live away from home and be successful, but I am afraid I will get homesick. The university is two hours away from my home, so the distance is bearable and I can come home on weekends, but the very idea of being on my own is still frightening. Do you have any advice about how I might be able to easily transition into college life? How did you feel when you went to college?

Phyllis replied:

Interesting that you ask this, because this is one of Alice’s problems in the book I’m writing now. I can only talk about the homesickness I felt in high school, going on sleepovers, as I never lived in a college dorm. Actually, I got homesick all during grade school–partly because family reading time was a big deal in my family, and I missed cuddling up on the couch with the others, wondering what book I was missing out on. And I was homesick in high school, though I wasn’t sure for whom or why, until I got a serious boyfriend, and then it stopped. I think it’s just wanting some closeness with somebody, and the separation reminds us of the vacant, lonely feeling we felt back in kindergarten, or whenever we were separated from our parents. I’m hoping that readers will respond to your letter to tell us how they dealt with it. A few suggestions: try to write about it–either for your own private journal or in an email home–and make it funny. Try to see the more humorous side of it–what your fantasies tell you you’re missing back home, and the reality of what you would be doing if you were there. You might, for example, be up in your room listening to music, paying no attention to the rest of the family, but you just like the thought that if you DID want to talk with them, they’re there. Get a continuing email dialogue going between you and a sister or a friend. I personally think you’ll have so many choices of things to do while you’re at college, and so much course work, you’ll be too busy to notice it much.

Posted on: July 9, 2009