How Can I get Him to Talk?

Question:

Uhh, well, to start off, there’s this guy. I met him through a friend of mine,
and ever since, we’ve been really good friends. I bet your thinking, “what’s the
problem, ur friends with him!” Well, I use to like him, well u can say I still
do. Its just that, he says he doesn’t like me, but he says nice stuff like “I
miss you” or “I really wanna hang out, just the two of us”. I’ve never had a guy
tell me that before. So, yeah, I’m new to this stuff. But, if he says he doent
like me, then why bother to hang out with me alone? Why bother to say I miss
you?
I’m black. And he’s white.
Sometimes I think most guy like me, that are white, its just that it seems like
their scared to say “I like a black girl” I mean, what so wrong about that? I
understand that their probably new to dating a gurl that’s different, but he’s
my best guy friend, we tell each other everything, I mean, EVERYTHING!
Now, its like, he barley talks to me?! How can I get him to talk?
Could you give me some advice?
Thanks so much, and I LOVE your books!!(:

Phyllis replied:

I wish I could see into his head and tell you what he’s really thinking.  And obviously, he doesn’t tell you EVERYTHING or you’d already know what’s up.  When he says he doesn’t like you, is that to you?  He tells others?  He means he does like you romantically?  It’s possible that he used to like you but is moving on.  It’s possible that when he says he misses you, he’s trying to let you down slowly.  It’s possible that he really does like you, but the race thing bothers him, and he’s not grown up enough to handle it.  But if he rarely talks to you anymore, I’d give him space and not spend too much energy worrying about it.  What I would NOT do is try to get him to talk.  He may not even know himself exactly how he feels.  You have other friends, you have other interests, get involved in other things.  To try to force someone to put his feelings into words may make him say things he doesn’t really mean.