How Can I Get Over This?

Question:

Hi. I’m Sarah–so today, I understand Michael Jackson died, and at first, I was all hyper. I’d been acting all optimistic about it, because I know he’s in heaven now and he’s safe and at peace away from all the bad stuff that he’s had to go through in his life. But now that I’ve been watching and listening and hearing about him on the television and the radio all the day with my family,I don’t know, I just feel so crushed all of a sudden. Like, inside of me, I keep thinking to myself “Michael Jackson is really dead”, and it’s like, more surreal and unrealistic everytime. I mean, I didn’t even know him, I don’t even live in America, but he was still such a big part of my life. My family has listened and loved his music forever, and him, he was such a great person, so now… I was all smiley this morning when I found out, all chirpy and calling my brother dumb for being so sullen, but I can’t even describe how I feel inside now. I feel horrible, and I can’t help thinking, will I feel this bad when someone I actually know and love even more dies? And how can I get over this?

Phyllis replied:

There are some things you just have to go through–you can’t hurry it along or jump over it, and grief is one of them.  When you feel really sad about it, let yourself cry.  When you want to talk about it, call a friend.  The thing about strong emotion is that our brains usually can’t sustain it for a long period of time. It’s the same with excitement or great happiness.  Most of the time our bodies just want contentment, which is why the excitement of Christmas or our first kiss or our getting the lead in a play isn’t sustained at the peak…it cools down a bit to keep us functioning.  The same is true of sadness.  After a while we concentrate more on the cheerful aspects, and this will happen to you too.