How Far is too Far?

Question:

I have been very sad latly, but not anymore. I have a boyfriend now, and everyone seems to like me. I get a long great with everyone. I wouldn’t call me popular, but I don’t mind, since I am extremly happy. Anyways, this weekend I am hanging out with my boyfriend like i do every weekend, and i think I am going to let him go pretty far. Not sex, but far. The problem is, I am ony 13, and have barely made out with a guy. so how far is too far? even though i relly like him, and trust him? Also, I do Marjuana ocasion. That’s what me and him are doing this weekend, and i was wondering, is it really that bad? i only do it about once a month and it is so fun! Alice has never tried it, but if she did (i know shes fiction but still) I know she would really like it. you probably wont answer this because it is a bit controversal, but i’m hoping you will anyways. I am a big fan of all your books, espessically Alice and boys/girls series. 

Phyllis replied:

There’s no way to answer your question because some things, with some people, shouldn’t even be begun.  Here’s the problem with “going pretty far” when you’re young and inexperienced: I dislike the thought of girls and guys getting sexually excited without any release.  Usually teenage guys figure that whatever feels good to them feels good to the girl too, and have no idea of what would be satisfying to a girl.  And often young girls don’t quite know either, and simply go along with whatever the guy does next.  I’m in favor of waiting until a girl and guy have known each other for a long time, can talk about intimate things without embarrassment, have respect for each other’s feelings, and practice sex safe, whether it’s intercourse or not.  And that the girl knows her own body enough to figure out what would be not only exciting but satisfying for her as well.    As for drugs, I just don’t see it.  I want to experience the real world, not a hyped up state of consciousness.  You wanted my personal opinion, and that’s it.