I am Never Going to Have a Boyfriend

Question:

I am worried I don’t want one now I’m only 11 but what what if my parents never let me have a BF. If the topic ever comes up my dad says I am never going to have a boyfriend. They say I cant wear make up until I am sixteen! I am going to be the only person who doesn’t have a bf and doesn’t wear makeup! I freak out because I know that in 7th grade everyone will wear make up and start going out! I think it’s ridiculous when 11 year olds arlready go on dates and wear make up but when I hit seventh grade I am going to be a tptal losere what should I do!

Phyllis replied:

Take a deep breath and drink some water. Your dad is either teasing or he is living on Planet X. Whatever, somehow you are pushing his button, and your parents feel pressured right now to come down hard and heavy with rules. I am personally against setting a certain age for being granted a particular freedom, and would prefer for parents to base this on the situation and maturity of their son or daughter. But I’m not your parent, so somehow you have to get along with the ones you have. I’m a big believer in starting out by inviting small groups of friends to your home, beginning with girlfriends and eventually including a few boys. When your parents see that the people they possibly imagine as wild can really be decent kids, and when they see how others your age dress, fix their hair, wear makeup, etc., they will probably be far more willing to relax their own rules. But don’t keep pushing them into a corner where they feel they have to say no. It’s a lot harder to say yes after five no’s than it is if those no’s happened a few years ago. P.S. Not everyone in seventh grade will be wearing makeup and going out with boyfriends. Count on it.

Posted on: May 16, 2009