I Hate her with a Freaking Passion

Question:

Whenever I send you a message, I alway start out with, “Hi, I love your books!” Haha, but usually I need advice. Which is what I am asking for now. So, I am in junior High, in seventh grade. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but seventh graders, are more like eighth graders, and eighth graders are more like ninth, and so on and so on.  So, obviously, boys and girls kiss and everyone has boyfriends and girlfriends. Anyways, so I am in love with the sweetest cutest boy in the seventh grade. I was so happy when I found out he was in my history class. We can call him…Lucas. Lots of girls like Lucas, heck, my best friend does.  But she is my best friend, and knew how into him I was, and would never steal him, plus, he doesn’t really know her. My “frenemy”  also is in love with him. In case you are not familiar with the term, it means someone who knows you hate them, and you know they hate you, but you are still friends because you used to be actual friends, and a group has formed, and if either one of us leaves, you’ll be the loner. Because our friends refuse to choose sides, we still hang out. Anyways, she’s very pretty, but so am I (not to be vain) but I know I am, and I am not afraid to admit she is. The reason she began to hate me was because her boyfriend said he was into me. But I didn’t even say I liked him back, (which I did) and turned him down, so I’m not sure why she’s so againts me! Anyways I got seated with Lucas, and we started talking alot. He would turn and talk to me all the time. More than he talked to anyone else in the class, and soon we became…Something. My friend even said we were inches from being a couple. He reached for my hand multiple times, made me laugh, talked to me a lot outside of class as well. But now we’ve moved seats and I don’t get to talk to him as much, we still talk occasionaly, but not as much. But my frenemy who we can call Sally, has P.E with him, where she can talk to him anytime. She always asks for a hug, always touching him, butting in on his conversations. He’s told her friends who come and ask him if he’s into her, that no, he does not. But she just keeps coming onto him. She is CONVINCED he’s into her. I think it’s because he’s just so sweet to everyone. Anyways, but as I said she is pretty, and I”m worried, he’ll fall into her trap. I want to talk to him sometimes, and just boldly go up and ask for a hug like I’ve seen her do multiple times, but…BLAH! I don’t want to look desperate like she does.  So, today these stupid things called, “turkey grams” were passed out to people that someone sent to them. Mostly people sent it to the people they like. Like, like more than a friend. So when class is let out, she races over and says, “look, Lucas sent me a turkey gram!” It said, Your cool from Lucas. I was like no!! My heart sank, I was like, fine, she won. So I’m walking with him, and I say, “your cool, huh?” Repeating what he had written on the card. He said, “huh?” “The turkey gram you sent to Sally?” I didn’t want to sound jealous, so I said, “it was really sweet.” He just stared like I was insane, he says, “I never sent her any turkey gram” my turn to gawk. I was like, “uhh..Yeah you kind of did” and I told him it was signed by himself and what it said. And he got mad, and told me to make sure she knew it wasn’t from him. So when I did tell her, she was like, “oh yeah right! He probably wouldn’t admit it to you because he knows you’ll be jealous.” But I know him, he wouldn’t do that! Then later I found out who did actually send it, and I think it was messed up that someone would send a fake thing like that. She was really into him, she IS really into him. But I still hate her, and she wouldn’t believe me and she thinks I’m only saying that to make her think that he doesn’t like her. ARGH, I don’t know what to do! I hate her with a freaking passion!  But  can’t give up my whole circle of friends, my popularity, my everything! She can take it all away because I hate her so much…If I walk away from her, I’m turning my back ony my friends, except for my bestie, who is with me through thick and thing.

Phyllis replied:

The more you dig into this, the more pathetic you look.  It’s hard, I know, when someone else likes your guy.  And who could resist telling Sally she might have sent the turkey-gram to herself?  The absolute best thing you can do here is to take the high road.  Since it’s not your business who sent the card, just keep out of it.  It’s Lucas’ place to tell her the turkey gram isn’t from him, if he wants to.  If you can continue to act pleasant, if not friendly, toward Sally–if you can seem confident that Lucas likes you and–if and when he drifts off to someone else, even to Sally–show that your world hasn’t ended, you’ll both be saving your self-esteem and your sanity.  Hate can eat away at you and make you more miserable than it’s making Sally.