I Miss Her So Much!

Question:

so i have this huge problem. my best friend of nine years was really really mean to me, and so we stopped being friends. we don’t even go to the same school anymore, and i guess i should be glad that we’re not friends anymore. the problem is that i always find myself missing her a lot. even though she was really mean to me, we had so much fun sometimes. i totally miss going to her house and her nice family and everything. she probably misses me too, but it’s her that should say sorry, and i know she won’t. but i miss her sooooo much. what should i do?

Phyllis replied:

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions:  Was this “meanness” a one-time thing, or did she have a habit of using you as a door mat?   If it was getting to be a habit, do  you really want to subject yourself to that all over again?  If her treatment of you was mostly a one-time thing over a specific incident, is it possible there’s more than one interpretation of what happened?  Is it at all possible that she thinks YOU are the one who should apologize first?  If this is the case, and you really miss her, do you miss her enough to humble yourself and call or email her, even if it was her fault?  You are the only one who can decide whether her friendship is worth taking the risk, or whether you should use your time making new friends.