I’m Afraid to Tell my Close Friend

Question:

I love your Alice books. I usually don’t read a lot of realistic fiction because it is normally extremely unrealistic, for the most part I read fantasy/sci-fi/horror because you know going into it that it is unrealistic. Reading the Alice books is like reading someone’s life-story, it is very realistic. I’ve been reading your books since 6th grade, this year I’m entering 9th grade and I will continue reading your books for many years to come.
   I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed the topic of religion in Intensely Alice. The majority of YA books either ignore religion or religion is part of the storyline/plot. I liked how you showed both sides of the story concerning religion. I’m Wiccan and my views are different than many. I have been practicing for over a year and have only told my parents (who are fine with it) and few very close friends. I’m scared to tell my one close friend because she has voiced her opinion before about what she thinks about pagans. I would like to be honest with her, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship, especially before the start of school, it would make school even more stressful. I would really appreciate it if you could help me with this, I need some third-party advice.

Thank you so much for writing such wonderful books,

Phyllis replied:

I’m glad to hear you liked my treatment of religion in “”Intensely Alice.”  Regarding your own religious views, (and it might be helpful to our readers if you briefly described the Wiccan beliefs), you need to focus on what it is that gives it meaning and how it enriches your life.  I would come at it from this angle when discussing it with my friend.  You also need to be clear on why it is you want to tell your  friend.  I assume it’s because you feel close to her and want her to accept you for who you are.  Perhaps you could start the conversation by simply telling her how you hope you can tell her anything–that you respect her and her beliefs and have no intention of trying to convince her to become Wiccan.  That may set her mind at ease and enable her to discuss religion with you–hers and yours; perhaps you’ll each come to understand the other better.