is love technically a choosing game?

Hello Mrs. Naylor! How are you doing? I hope you are fine and dandy. I was just wondering if love is technically a choosing game. I know nobody is an expert on love just like there’s really no expert on children, but I’ve been keeping up with the Alice blog, by the way, I’m a huge fan of yours and always turned to the Alice books for guidance while growing up. Anyways, I read somewhere where you said that in the end, Patrick chose Alice and decided that she was the one for him which if i’m just being honest, I’m glad Alice and Patrick got married and grew old together because they have the best love story I have ever read, My grandmother told me when I was little that dating is like looking for an outfit and when you decide to marry, you’ve found the right fit, is this true? I heard we don’t choose who we fall in love with but is love technically a choosing game? I understand that Alice and Patrick met other people before they both decided that they loved each other most of all, so they fell in love and chose to be together? So if you fall in love with someone, you compare your feelings and then choose whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with them? am I on the right track? Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my questions, I very much appreciate it.

It’s not so simple as all that.  Of course it’s a matter of choosing, but there are billions of people in the world, millions in the US, and hundreds in the area where you live, but you will only feel close to a few when you are looking for a mate.  And of course you are always counting down, in a way…this person appeals to you in looks, but he’s maybe sort of snarky; this guy really listens to  you and you have some great conversations but you can’t imagine sleeping with him; this guy seems like he’s got it all, but you feel he doesn’t care as much for you as you do for him…   And then one day you meet a guy at work or on a project or in a class or friend of a friend, and just the way his eyes stay on you…the way he smiles….teases a bit….  He can talk about serious subjects and is also pretty funny…. and you begin to think that maybe this is the guy you can live with for the rest of our life…..