Is This a Sign We Belong Together?
Question:
i first got hooked on your alice books about 2 summers ago and now whenever i pick up one of them, i can’t stop reading it. your books are amazing. you are such a good writer and whenever i have to write a essay or story for school, i am greatful for having read your books and other books that have helped me become a better writer.
so over the past year i’ve gone from being friends with a guy, to being really close friends, to being his girlfriend, then he broke up with me just before summer break. we spent the whole summer not taking to each other. then when i started my first year of high school this past fall, i wasn’t sure what to expect. since then we’ve been just friends to a relationship without anyone knowing we were together, to officially dating to broken up to having many make out sessions. i’ve of course wondered many times what my future would look like and would he be in my future. i’ve pretty much guessed that this is normal for a teenage girl.
what i wanted to ask you is if i should keep going on with this? i’ve also wondered if we’ll ever date again. should i ask him if he ever thinks of us ever being a couple again? if i were to ask him this, would it change out our relationship or how close of friends we are? each time we’ve tried to keep our relationship with each other as just friends, we end up coming back to each other. is this a sign that we belong together and that we just can’t give up that part of our lives?
Phyllis replied:
From what you’ve told me so far, it seems that perhaps it’s a sign you both are a little reluctant to give up some of the closeness, and the make-out sessions, for the unknown of dating other people. You don’t mention that in the break-up times either of you were seeing others, and if you weren’t, perhaps this is why you keep coming back. If you look at the way you keep coming back to each other, it’s tempting to call it a sign you belong together. But you could also look at the number of times you’ve broken up, including a whole summer of not speaking to each other, as a sign you should be apart. I’d take it slow. Think about what it is that drives you apart, and start looking around for other people who have different qualities to help both of you understand what it is each of you wants in a relationship.
Posted on: February 1, 2010