It Hurt

Question:

hi:) well im a senior an i recently decided about joining the military. my guy friend who i use to like my sophomore year is going into one of the branches. he was trying to explain things to me an he sent me a message saying its my life do whatever i want an i started crying out of no where i dont know if its cuz it hurt me that i consider him my friend an he said that or that i still maybe feel something for him.

Phyllis replied:

I don’t think you’ve given me enough information to understand your disappointment and hurt. Reading between the lines, perhaps you told him of your decision and hoped he would help you sort out the details. Or talk you into joining his branch of service. Or recommend that you not join the military. You said that he was “explaining things to you” but it seems that his saying “It’s your life, do what you want,” was not what you wanted to hear. What did you hope he might tell you? That his life was somehow still linked to yours? Or that he had real concern for your future? I can understand emotions that suddenly erupt and I wonder, “Now where did that come from?” I suggest you ask yourself some questions, the first of which would be, “What had I asked of him, and what had I really wanted to hear?” Perhaps that will help you understand the disappointment.

Posted on: October 25, 2010