It Was Just a Joke

Question:
Hello! I have a boy question! I bet you havent heard that one before! Not! Ha ha…anyway I really need some guy advice from an outside perspective. The situation is there is this guy named Lucas. He was my friends friend. we had a couple of encounters, no big deal. but me and my friend thought he was really cute. so one day he was walking with his friends, and they are all big tall muscular guys, and he was talking about watching ellen degeneres.For some reason me and my friend heard and we could not stop laughing at the irony of this muscular guy watching that. so we told all of our friends the story and then whenever someone brought him up wed go ELLEN! to us it wa just funny buthe found out and now he thinks we’re freaks. What can i possibly do to make him think I am not a freak? It really bugs me, proabably more than it should because of the fact that he’s cute, plus that he hangs out with my friend alll the time and now its awkward if im with her at school and he is there too. it was just a joke but he thinks we stalk him now, haha. Please give me adive…..I’m also kind of scared to approach him so if there is someway I can do this gently please tell me because I am intimidated and at a complete loss.
Phyllis replied:
 
 
Well, let’s start off by admitting that it was low-grade humor and childish, because:  1) You were implying that only gay people like ELLEN  2) That the most important thing about  Ellen is that she is gay 3) And that if this guy is gay, muscular or not, it’s weird.   So you and your friends probably seem both childish and not very bright about this particular subject.  That said, what to do, because all of us, myself included, have said and done stupid things that we regret.  And unfortunately, about the only thing you can do is not repeat your mistake.  If I were you, I would immediately stop all the silliness and be as mature as I naturally could while I was around this guy.  I would talk about other subjects, stop the staring or giggling or anything else that you might have been doing, and then…if you ever get into a comfortable conversation with him, you might just apologize, very briefly, for being completely silly and out of line, and then change the subject.
Posted on: August 26, 2010

 

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