Love

Hi, I just wanted to know how will I know if I’m in love and how will I know that a guy is completely in love with me and would never hurt me? I’m 18 and have never had a boyfriend so I don’t know what love is. I look at all the divorced people in my life and I don’t want that to be me but I certainly don’t want to be one of those women who stay with their husbands because of their children. I’m also afraid that a guy will get bored of me or leave me for someone else. I want a soulmate, Someone I’ll spend the rest of my life with, Someone who’ll never have an affair or hurt me in anyway. Some people never find that person and I’m scared of that too. How will I know I’ve found THE ONE?

I wish I could tell you that life is certain, and that if you find the right person you’ll have a guarantee that he will never get bored with you or hurt you or leave you for someone else.  Just as I can’t promise that if you have children, they will love you forever and always come back to visit and remember your birthday.  What we can do is help ourselves (with counseling, if necessary) to grow up confident that if life gives us a lemon, we can deal with it.  And that when we meet someone whom we feel might make a good husband or wife, we listen closely to what they say;  pay attention to how we are treated.  Is this a person we can confide in without being made to feel small?    Are our goals the same?  Can we discuss religion, children, sex, work, vacations, relatives, drinking, friends… without being denigrated or denied?   The fact is, there is NO one person who is perfect.  And it’s not true that out of all the billions of people on this planet, there is only ONE that is YOUR SOUL MATE.  Most people don’t have to travel the world to find a husband or wife.  It is usually someone from our neighborhood, our church, our college, our workplace, or among our group of friends that we find someone who is SPECIAL TO US.  Begin your search by shoring up yourself–your own self confidence.  Learning to like yourself.  Being happy with yourself.  A girl or woman who enjoys being herself projects a friendly welcome to those around her, making them want to be with her too.