Marriage

So I have to ask u for some advice, first let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours! You are a great author and women like you deserve to be immortal! So I’m 22 years old and i just got engaged to the most wonderful man, and I’m happy but when I say I’m in love with him, my mom says I’m too young to know what love is and what I’m feeling is puppy love, my friends agree and bring up the fact that he’s the only man I’ve ever been with so “there’s no way you’re really in love because you haven’t tried a relationship with anyone else”, they act as if you need a score board of lovers before u find the one you really love. Are they right or should I listen to my heart?

I think it’s possible that you are really in love, but I also think it’s possible that if you met another man instead of this one, you could really be in love with him too. Because there isn’t just “the one and only.”  I do hope that you are planning to be engaged for quite some time before you actually marry, so that you can discover more about yourself.  Do you ever feel that you are trying your best to be the kind of woman you think he wants?  Are there habits of his that might seem quirky but lovable right now, but over a period of years might drive you nuts?  Have you had long discussions about really important things–children?  Each other’s family?  Religion?  Money?  Tidiness?  Goals in life?  Past relationships?  Sex?  Is this a man you feel you could tell anything to–no matter how personal–and he would try to understand?   Or are you keeping all your insecurities hidden from him, and just hoping that everything will work out.  He should be a person with whom you feel really comfortable in  being yourself, and he in turn should feel comfortable confiding in you.   Don’t be discouraged.  If you were “meant for each other” then these discussions should be a joyful journey, not something to fear.