She Says I Stole Him From Her

Question:

So, I have this friend, we can call him…Lucas. Lucas dated my sort of friend, who we can call Kelly. So, Lucas and Kelly dated for a while, and in that time, he became my really good friend. Anyway, he started saying he fell out of love with Kelly, and wanted to break up with her. She found out, and then blamed it on me, saying I stole him from her. Anyways, he became practically my best friend, and he’s always there for me. He of course is your average pervish seventh grade boy, but anyways…I know he liked me for a while, I liked him back, and people everyday would ask if he was my boyfriend. Once someone asked when he was standing next to me, and he responded with “Yeah I am” and I was confused…Anyways, it’s been two months since then, and we’ve remained just friends. And then, yesterday, I was in P.E when Lucas walked by, waved, smiled, and then went into his classroom. Someone said, “is that your boyfriend?” And even though I shook my head no, I suddenly wanted to say yes. I wanted to say yes he is my boyfriend. Now, I’m debating whether or not I should tell him. It could ruin our friendship, and it could prove Kelly right. But, ugh…Help.

Phyllis replied:

I suggest that you and Lucas figure out where you stand with each other before any of your friends or classmates get in on it. And certainly the only people who matter are you and Lucas. If he is really “practically your best friend and is always there for you,” you should be able to talk about this. You might start out by saying, “If we ever started liking each other as more than just friends, do you think it would ruin what we have now?” That gives him a perfect opportunity to tell you if he regards you as his girlfriend, and then you can decide how you feel about him.

Posted on: January 30, 2011