Should I contact her?

Question:

I recently read Please Don’t Be True, and was shocked to find out that a classmate of Alice’s passed away. Now, that’s happened to me. I graduated in 09, and we lost out first classmate, Mike to suicide. It’s a really scary thing and he was more of an acquaintance to me, but a friend to many of my friends. One in particular, a girl that I stopped being friends with 2 1/2 years ago. We were good friends, and things just stopped one day when she told me she hated me. We were both going through rough spots in our lives. I wasn’t doing well being away at school, and she was sad that Mike left for college after recently spending a lot of time with him in the summer. So her and I didn’t just drift apart, like I said she ended things by saying through a text that she hated me, and also, “Just shut the **** up already, can’t you accept that we are no longer friends?”  Now that Mike is gone, all I can think about his her. I loved when she told me stories about them sneaking around, I was so happy for her when she finally had a chance with him. Would it be appropriate to contact her again? I wasn’t thinking anytime soon, cause she is mourning and must be taking it hard. I just wonder if I would get the same response I did a few years ago. I don’t know what to do. I still miss old times with her, and after this horrible death, maybe the past should be put aside.

Phyllis replied:

I vote for getting in  touch with her and telling her, simply and without fawning, that you miss your friendship, and how sad you are about Mike.  The worst that can happen is she’ll say no and even call you names.  If so, you will always know that you tried.  And she will always know that she rejected a friend.  We never know when we are going to miss someone, and somewhere down the line, she may need you more than you need her right now.