That First Kiss

I have been reading you’re alice books for along time, and I really enjoy them. So I am thirteen and in the 8th grade and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I am not a vain person but I am not one to protest the fact that I am pretty. And I have this guy friend who we can call Danny and my friends and I have always agreed that Danny is cute. So I was hanging out with a lot of people after school and I was talking to Danny while are friend was like three ft way. He said he had to leave and then he caught my eye and said, “can I have a goodbye kiss?” My heart began to pound and I almost leaned in for it but then at the last second I turned away and laughed it off. And then our friend we can call Tyler came up and said, “whoa did you two just kiss?” And I was like.. “uhh no..” and then it was very awkward. Later he kept hugging me and touching me and all this stuff and he even told my best friend that he likes me. And then he called me that night saying he wanted to hangout the next day and I obliged. It was Danny, me, and our other friend who we can call Brad. Now all Danny could talk about was getting his goodbye kiss, and I said maybe you will get it, and I meant it. But there were three of us. And odd number so we weren’t about to make out in front of Brad. So then we were at a park and we were hanging out up really high in this play structure and Danny had his head on my shoulder was basically on top of me and Brad was kind of off to the side. And then Brad’s dad called him saying he was out in the parking lot and that he needed to come get money from him. So brad went down the slide and left Danny and I in this secluded corner of the slide. He sat up straighter so he could be level with me and then it was so incredibly awkward that I decided to call Brad to ask what he was doing because at the time I had no idea why he had suddenly left. And then while I was on the phone with him Danny took the phone from me and hung up on Brad. But the kiss didn’t happen. Was it my fault? I have no idea. And then Danny said he’d walk me home, and he did, all the way to my driveway. And on the way he kept saying “can I have the kiss now?” And when I’d only laugh, five minutes later he’d say, “how about now?” But I wasn’t about to stop in the middle of the street and just kiss him. I wanted HIM to kiss ME. I didn’t want him to make it awkward and ASK, I just wanted it to happen. And then he texted me over and over asking why I didn’t kiss him and I explained that I didn’t want him to ask. And he asked me to hangout again today so my friend and I went to me up with him and Tyler. And Tyler kept saying, “Danny’s gonna kiss you, he’s gonna kiss you!” And Danny insisted on walking me home again and so the two of them did. So when we got to my house we were on my driveway and Tyler had kind of slipped away but he was still in sight and Danny had his arm around me and his face was inches from mine…….but nothing happened. Why am I so awkward?? I know Alice got her first kiss from Patrick in the 6th grade and I know she was nervous but she DID It. How come I cannot?? Any tips or advice?

Phyllis replied:

I don’t know why, but I hope that all girls longing for their first kiss will read your email.   Very few girls remember their first kiss as being especially romantic.  Usually it’s a mixture of excitement and embarrassment.  Your reluctance to kiss Danny reminds me of my long-ago shyness in kissing my boyfriend.  He’d kissed me many times, but he kept asking me to initiate a kiss myself, and for weeks I tried to get up the nerve.  Yep, I was in eighth grade–I think he was a grade ahead of me.  Finally, we were walking across a field one night, my heart pounding, and finally I just grabbed his arm, reached up and gave him a quick kiss, then turned and ran all the way home.  And the first time a boy kissed me, it too was a quick kiss and then, ZAP! He was gone.  Trust me, it gets easier, more comfortable, more romantic, more everything.  And it really doesn’t hurt to wait.  The more mature you are, the more natural it will seem.