The Person I’m Meant to Be

Question:

You are a genius and one of the most inspirational writers.I thoroughly enjoy reading each and every one of your Alice books. I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I have been trying to overcome for some time now. Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed of becoming an actress. Not for the fame or the money but because I enjoyed the wondrous feeling of being able to express myself freely and openly onstage. Growing up I would get the lead roles in school plays always so sure of myself. But by the end of 7th grade I had lost all feelings of security. I became very self conscious and timid letting my nervous nature take control. I am now almost 17 and still hold strong to the same dream, but it seems almost impossible to make it a reality when I can barley read in front of my class. I just want to be able to be the person I am meant to be without such anxiety.When I read your books about Alice she always seems so sure of herself and confident, I wish I could follow her example. Any advice would help and thank you for your time.

Phyllis replied:

Interesting that Alice is soon going to be facing the very same problem.  It’s common for someone to get lead roles in plays during elementary school, but to start feeling insecure in middle and high schools.  For one thing, your body is changing and sometimes your self image changes along with it.  For another, you are in larger schools, up against more competition, and the “big fish in a little pond” now finds herself a “little fish in a big pond.”  How to adjust?

Remember that some great actors and actresses never get over the fear; they simply override it.  Some were, and stayed, shy forever when out with other people, but were able to slip into another persona onstage.  The only cure for you is to put yourself in every possible situation where you are in front of a group: speech class, drama club, community theater, school plays, musicals…   It might help to join a discussion group where being “up front” isn’t quite as noticeable.  Become a leader of a brownie or a Girl Scout troop.  And watch how other leaders or actors adjust when they make a mistake, misread a line, give the wrong directions, etc.  Life happens.  The world doesn’t end.  Also, teach yourself as many skills as possible, even if they have nothing to do with acting or public speaking.  The more skills you acquire–skiing, cooking, sewing, carpentry, playing poker, singing, dancing–you are building your confidence.  The more you can learn to do yourself, for yourself, the closer you become to being the person you’re meant to be.