Virginity: What would Alice do?

Hi, So I’m 17 and I’m dating this boy who I’ve known since I was young and I’ve been thinking about losing my virginity to him. Alice lost her virginity at 20 and she said all she was looking for was a guy she could trust and someone who cared for her, but I don’t think she was in love with him, do you have to be in love to lose your virginity or do you just have to be comfortable? Alice is my idol and I’ve always wanted to be like her because she does make a lot of great choices, I very much value my virginity just like Alice did which I guess is why I’m still a virgin and I always thought Id lose it in college. So what should I do? what would Alice do?

I’m glad you think so much of Alice, but it’s a little scary that you would plan your own life around hers.  Much as you like her, you’re still two different people.  Having intercourse for the first time isn’t like planning a vacation where you do it in high school or “do it” in college.  So much depends on the time and the circumstance and the person.  Ideally, yes, it should be with someone you love very much and trust.  Someone who cares enough about you to take precautions so you won’t become pregnant.  A time and a place where you are comfortable and safe and private, and you are as sexually eager as he is.  But “losing your virginity” should not be akin to getting engaged or a trip around the world or graduating from college.   You’re not going to make scrapbook about it of take photos or throw a party to celebrate it.   It may turn out to be just a so-so experience.  Or you got your period.  Or he wasn’t as gentle as you thought he would be.   Don’t go into mourning.   Exciting as it can be, it’ s  still only one small part of life and you have a lot ahead of you.