Will I Be Alone the Rest of High School?

Phyllis replied:

I wonder where you got the idea that most people have their first kiss by age eleven.  And what, really, is so terrific about that first kiss?  A first kiss might be on a dare from a friend.  A first kiss might be playing a game at a party.  It might be a wet slobbery kiss or an embarrassed peck on the side of the mouth.   I would be willing to bet that kisses at age 11 are pretty embarrassing, awkward things.  Rarely are they slow kisses in a fond embrace under a moonlit sky.  Boys who are just getting interested in girls often act like members of a pack.  They all focus on the same girl or type of girl, and it’s only when they mature a little that they are attracted to the many variations.  If you have any doubt, look at the engagement pictures in the newspaper; look at the young married couples in your neighborhood.  You will see handsome guys married to beautiful women.  You will see handsome guys engaged to plain-looking women.  You will see beautiful women married to plain-looking men, and plain looking people engaged to others just like them.  We are attracted to other people not only by their physical qualities but by how they make us feel; how they bring out the best in us;  by how comfortable we are with each other.    Many girls who write to me didn’t have their first date until they were in college.  There’s no age limit on love and attraction.