Your Questions Answered

Did they happen to you?

Question:

Read in order?

Saved or Not

Question:

there’s this girl at school who tells eveyone if they are saved or not.  If you dont believe just like she does

 she says your going to hell.   what do you think?

 

Phyllis replied:

It’s strange, you know.  If someone said they didn’t believe in gravity, for example, you could throw a ball up in the air and prove it comes down, and if they still didn’t believe, you’d probably smile and shrug and walk away.  But when it comes to religion, where some things can’t be proven scientifically, then people have been tortured and put to death because they believe one way or another–as though the people doing the torturing are so insecure that they have to force people to believe as they do to convince themselves it’s true.  Everyone has to discover their own beliefs for themselves.  Some people simply accept what their church or their parents pass down to them.  Others explore different religions and come back to the one they were brought up with.  Others change religions or continually study and explore spiritual and religious questions.  For myself, I don’t give much credit to symbols–such as having to wear a flag pin to show you are patriotic or attend church every Sunday to prove you are religious.  I put a great deal of weight on the way a person lives his life, treats others, respects others and their different points of view.  If I were face to face with the girl in your school, and she were after me because she felt I believed differently than she did, I would simply say, “I’m sorry that it bothers you so much,” and let it go.

A Girl of Few Words

Question:

I am not a girl of many words, so I’ll just settle for this:Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing the Alice series with us.

 Phyllis replied:

Thank you so much for writing.  Now I know the new web address is working. 

I’m one of your biggest admirers,

NOTE FROM PHYLLIS:

I HAVE CHANGED MY EMAIL ADDRESS FROM  friendsofalice@aol.com  to friendsofalice@mail.com    

If you have sent any emails to me in the last few days, please re-send them to me at the new web address.   I look forward to hearing from you!    Phyllis

Losing attraction for a former love

The Alice Series

Question:

 

I just wanted to let you know about something that happened this past week. I’m
a senior in college, double majoring in French and English, with emphasis in
Linguistics. Last week I passed one of my favorite English professors and she
had “Alice in Between” In her hand! I said, “Oh my gosh I LOVE that series!
Alice helped me make it through my childhood without my mom. They’re really
special to me.”  She replied that she always teaches that particular book in the
series in her Children’s Lit class every fall, and they they were getting ready
to read it.

Today she invited me to her class to talk about why the books were so important
to me, and about the other novels in the series. She also asked me to read some
passages from a few of the other Alice books. I really teared up when I read
them the passage in which Mrs. Plotkin dies, and had to stop.

I really enjoyed getting to talk about you to another class, and explain why the
books mean so much to me. Thank you so much, again, for your series.

Phyllis replied:

And I enjoyed your email so much.  I know what you mean about tearing up.  Two of the scenes that always make me cry when I read them again are Alice’s memory of sitting on her mother’s lap in the hospital, and of the candlelight vigil around the  Stedmeisters’ house.  Over the years, these people have all become so real to me.  Thank you for taking time from your own busy schedule to write to me.

Is He Leading me on?

Question:

Whenever I feel like something isn’t right, or whenever I feel like I’m alone, I always turn to your Alice books. Everything about her comforts me and just lifts me up. I have so many boy problems it’s not even funny. I’m in 8th grade and there is this boy who is just confusing me. About a year ago I met this guy, and one of my friends really really liked him, and my two other friends liked him as well. But not as much as this one friend. Because of them, I was hanging out with him quite a lot, and he developed feelings for me, knowing that out of the four of us, I was the one who didn’t like him that way. I’m going to sound conceited, but I know I’m attractive, but so was my friend who really liked him. Anyway he’s fifteen and in High School now and I hadn’t seen for him at least eight months. I didn’t really miss him, my friend moved on and has been dating this guy she is really into. I was at the High School’s football game two or three weeks ago and I saw him, and me and my friends were like…what happened. He was so cute. He was never ugly, but now he was CUTE. He hung out with us a little bit that night, and flirted with me a lot but then was gone. But two days ago I went to another game and he was there again, and do you know how many people asked if were dating. I was just walking with him when he grabbed my hand, not just in a friendly I’m going to pull you over here kind of way, but actually intertwining our fingers and holding on tight kind of way. The whole night went on like this, he had his arm around me the whole night, and then we were just standing there in a group of people, and I kind of let my head rest on his shoulder and his hand was caressing my arm and it was just a really intimate moment. And he’s been texting me all weekend. But here’s my question, am I being led on? We go to different schools since he’s in High School and he’s two years older and I just can’t tell. Next time I see him should I ask him if we’re actually going anywhere? I don’t want to tell him to stop because every time I think of him, my stomach gets fluttery and I just smile. I’m just really confused.

 

Phyllis replied:

It’s simply too early to tell.  It’s obvious he’s attracted to you and you’re attracted to him.  But I think guys wish that girls wouldn’t try to label relationships the minute they take hold.  Who really knows this soon?  Not even him, probably.  He may have been going with a girl at his school, and then you came along.  He could be open to a relationship but wants to make sure how you feel about him first, and is taking it slow.  He might really enjoy seeing you at games, but doesn’t want to get into dating for various reasons–his schedule may already be tight, he’s short of money, no car, etc. etc.  Please just enjoy the back-and-forth and flirting that you’re doing right now and wait to see how things work out. 

Always Alice

Relate so well to Alice

Question:

 

I read the first Alice book when I, like Alice, was 11. I remember being able to relate so well to everything Alice went through as she grew up, and as I grew up too. So many coming-of-age stories seemed cliched to me, and a lot of them never appealed to me because of how distant they felt from my own life. Not Alice. She worried about things I worried about, she went through embarrassing things too! In one book, I don’t remember which, Alice falls down the stairs and pees herself and a hot senior picks her up to help her out. I remembered that whenever something embarrassing happened to me, nothing could ever be as bad as peeing yourself in front of a hot boy! Now I have finally caught up to Alice, I’m a senior in highschool and so is she. The latest book actually made me cry when Alice graduated, because I can’t believe we made it this far together (I guess it took her a little longer than me) I can honestly say my middle school and highschool life would have been A LOT different if not for Alice. 

Phyllis replied:

Yes, in the last book you will find out what happens to the most important characters.  I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the books.  To show how much things stay the same from one generation to the next, the peeing incident actually happened to my mother around 1918.  She was born into a large farm family that lived far out in the country.  She wanted to be a teacher, and so, to attend high school, her parents had to find a family she could stay with in the city, and she did housework for them to earn her board and room.  After all that, imagine falling down the stairs on her first day of high school and peeing herself!  (With no hot senior around to pick her up!–I tacked that on for Alice.)