Your Questions Answered
Question:
As of now I am in a long distance college relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months. He lives 800 miles away and we are separated by state lines, so I’m only able to see him once every 1-2 months. We’re both eighteen and serious about each other, however, since we left for separate colleges I have become extremely depressed at his absence. I don’t want to leave him, though I do believe that I care more for him than he does for me. I’m just getting a little tired of crying all the time and getting uncaring and lifeless responses from him. I do my very best to make him happy but it’s hard to do when I receive nothing out of it. Everything is great when we’re together at home, but we’ll be separated for the majority of the next four years. I just want to be happy, but I’m not sure if I can achieve that without him in my life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Phyllis replied:
Do you really want an uncaring and lifeless boyfriend in your life? That’s far more depressing to me than being single and available to someone who could really love you. And who wants a boyfriend for whom you have to try hard all the time to please? If things are great when he’s home and you’re together, what do you two talk about? Can you tell him how you feel? Find out how he views the relationship? If I were in your place I’d suggest we take a break from each other for a while and see how we feel about things. His response to this may tell you all you need to know. But to do this, you need to like yourself; you need the confidence that you are likeable and that other men can like you. It would be very helpful if you could talk things over with a counselor there at your college. You need some perspective about your relationship and some insight into why you want to stick with a guy who can’t or won’t return your affection when he’s away.
Posted on: November 23, 2010
Question:
Hi! Thanks for writing such wonderful books…but something has been on my mind for a while. So, I am in Junior High, seventh grader, :(! Anyways, so, I have a circle of friends, three girls (including me) and three guys. Even, weird…Anyways, they are my closest buds. And I was sitting next to one of the guys, Justin, me and him on one bench, and the two other girls and two other boys one the one across from us. Anyways, Justin is just a friend, nothing going on there ever! Haha, well, then this popular 8th grader, Dave, (very cute!) comes up, and squishes between me and Justin. And his friend does to, and they start grinding on him. “Justin, you’re to young, stay away from this girl! She has cooties!” Justin gets all embarrassed and walks away, so that leaves me and two very popular eighth graders on the bench together. I can’t help but feel Dave’s presence because he is so cute. He leans over in my face, and says, “you do have cooties, right?” I play along and say, “yeah, you better stay away!” He laughs, and squishes me even more. He and his friend start fooling around on the bench, and soon I pretend to get “annoyed” and walk over to the bench where my friends are sitting, by now Justin has took off somewhere. So Dave and his friend leave. Then my best friend says, “it isn’t fair, your pretty and skinny, and two eighth graders are fighting to sit next to you!” Which made me feel good, lol. Anyways, so they left, and I started talking to my buddy Liam who was sitting next to me, and we are just talking. I look behind me, and like ten feet away, Dave and his friends are looking over at us and smiling. Soon in mid conversation, Dave plops down between me and Liam. And says the same thing he said to Justin. And the next day he approached me again and we talked. So, do you think this can go anywhere…? Or he’s just messing with me, we talked in P.E to, fighting over whether the pegs were easy or hard. I said hard, and he said easy, mainly because he’s like super tall for an 8th grader. And strong 🙂 So, he’s got me all interested, and remember I’m a seventh grader, and he’s an eighth. I’ve seen lots of 8th grade guys out with seventh grade girls, but…Dave? But the way he flirts sometimes seems like he might ask me out. Do you think so? I mean, I’m too embarrassed to ask my friends. I think I might be really into him, but…You never know with boys.
Phyllis replied:
I think he likes you or he wouldn’t be “messing” with you at all. Can’t you just like him back, enjoy him, tease and flirt a little yourself, and not worry about putting a label on anything? Just wait and see what happens.
Posted on: November 23, 2010
Question:
Whenever I send you a message, I alway start out with, “Hi, I love your books!” Haha, but usually I need advice. Which is what I am asking for now. So, I am in junior High, in seventh grade. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but seventh graders, are more like eighth graders, and eighth graders are more like ninth, and so on and so on. So, obviously, boys and girls kiss and everyone has boyfriends and girlfriends. Anyways, so I am in love with the sweetest cutest boy in the seventh grade. I was so happy when I found out he was in my history class. We can call him…Lucas. Lots of girls like Lucas, heck, my best friend does. But she is my best friend, and knew how into him I was, and would never steal him, plus, he doesn’t really know her. My “frenemy” also is in love with him. In case you are not familiar with the term, it means someone who knows you hate them, and you know they hate you, but you are still friends because you used to be actual friends, and a group has formed, and if either one of us leaves, you’ll be the loner. Because our friends refuse to choose sides, we still hang out. Anyways, she’s very pretty, but so am I (not to be vain) but I know I am, and I am not afraid to admit she is. The reason she began to hate me was because her boyfriend said he was into me. But I didn’t even say I liked him back, (which I did) and turned him down, so I’m not sure why she’s so againts me! Anyways I got seated with Lucas, and we started talking alot. He would turn and talk to me all the time. More than he talked to anyone else in the class, and soon we became…Something. My friend even said we were inches from being a couple. He reached for my hand multiple times, made me laugh, talked to me a lot outside of class as well. But now we’ve moved seats and I don’t get to talk to him as much, we still talk occasionaly, but not as much. But my frenemy who we can call Sally, has P.E with him, where she can talk to him anytime. She always asks for a hug, always touching him, butting in on his conversations. He’s told her friends who come and ask him if he’s into her, that no, he does not. But she just keeps coming onto him. She is CONVINCED he’s into her. I think it’s because he’s just so sweet to everyone. Anyways, but as I said she is pretty, and I”m worried, he’ll fall into her trap. I want to talk to him sometimes, and just boldly go up and ask for a hug like I’ve seen her do multiple times, but…BLAH! I don’t want to look desperate like she does. So, today these stupid things called, “turkey grams” were passed out to people that someone sent to them. Mostly people sent it to the people they like. Like, like more than a friend. So when class is let out, she races over and says, “look, Lucas sent me a turkey gram!” It said, Your cool from Lucas. I was like no!! My heart sank, I was like, fine, she won. So I’m walking with him, and I say, “your cool, huh?” Repeating what he had written on the card. He said, “huh?” “The turkey gram you sent to Sally?” I didn’t want to sound jealous, so I said, “it was really sweet.” He just stared like I was insane, he says, “I never sent her any turkey gram” my turn to gawk. I was like, “uhh..Yeah you kind of did” and I told him it was signed by himself and what it said. And he got mad, and told me to make sure she knew it wasn’t from him. So when I did tell her, she was like, “oh yeah right! He probably wouldn’t admit it to you because he knows you’ll be jealous.” But I know him, he wouldn’t do that! Then later I found out who did actually send it, and I think it was messed up that someone would send a fake thing like that. She was really into him, she IS really into him. But I still hate her, and she wouldn’t believe me and she thinks I’m only saying that to make her think that he doesn’t like her. ARGH, I don’t know what to do! I hate her with a freaking passion! But can’t give up my whole circle of friends, my popularity, my everything! She can take it all away because I hate her so much…If I walk away from her, I’m turning my back ony my friends, except for my bestie, who is with me through thick and thing.
Phyllis replied:
The more you dig into this, the more pathetic you look. It’s hard, I know, when someone else likes your guy. And who could resist telling Sally she might have sent the turkey-gram to herself? The absolute best thing you can do here is to take the high road. Since it’s not your business who sent the card, just keep out of it. It’s Lucas’ place to tell her the turkey gram isn’t from him, if he wants to. If you can continue to act pleasant, if not friendly, toward Sally–if you can seem confident that Lucas likes you and–if and when he drifts off to someone else, even to Sally–show that your world hasn’t ended, you’ll both be saving your self-esteem and your sanity. Hate can eat away at you and make you more miserable than it’s making Sally.
Posted on: November 23, 2010
Question:
i love your books so much!
anyway i was wondering if you could answer a boy question
ok so there’s this boy at school and i really like him and he seems to like me to. he even told me i was awesome! but he’s never actually said he “likes” me even if he’s shown me in so many ways. i really want to tell him i like him but i’m scared to. got any ideas of what i can do?
Phyllis replied:
I think that most like guys like to show and be shown, but they don’t like having to say it. And hearing you say it means they’re expected to say it back, and this is enough to send them packing. If you like him and he seems to like you, simply enjoy the experience. You can show you like each other by the happiness you feel when the other person’s around, by choosing to sit with each other, go places together, give each other funny little presents. This is SO much better than words.
Posted on: November 23, 2010
Question:
I have wrote an e-mail to you before, and I really wanted to ask you some questions that have been wandering my mind.
Throughout your books, the girl on the cover gets older and older. I was wondering if it’s the same girl? I was also wondering if you could let me know her name maybe? Because I want to be just like her. Your Alice books produce so much influence, and real character in them, that’s its hard to believe it isn’t a somewhat true kind-of story. Also, how do you take her pictures on the cover? Like do you just meet up, and ask for a picture of her for a book? Haha I’d really love to find out the answers to these quesetions! Thank you so much for reading this, and keep up your finaminal work on the books!
Phyllis replied:
There have been many changes in the Alice covers over the years, starting out with almost cartoon-like characters and eventually moving to photographs. For a few years, the publisher hired a model from an agency. They used her twice, I believe, several years apart, and of course helped her look younger for her age in some photos, older in others. They even found a little girl who looked very much like her to model for the three Alice prequels. We never know, or give out, the names of models. But there’s no need for you to try to model yourself or your looks after someone else. Your own kind of true life story could be much more interesting.
Posted on: November 18, 2010
Question:
Our seventh grade class semester project involves choosing an author and writing about the author’s career. In addition, we must read and present a synopsis of one of the author’s novels. I have selected you as my author and I am currently in the process of reading Jade Green.
I am aware of many other books that you have written but chose Jade Green because it sounded like a good story line to read. So far it is pretty scary! I was curious if there was any event in your life that inspired you to write such a ghostly story?
I cannot wait to read other novels of yours after I finish this one. What novel would you choose next for a twelve year old, seventh grader?
I was also wondering if you are inspired for ALL of your stories or do you just start randomly writing?
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer my questions.
Phyllis replied:
If by “inspired,” you mean am I excited about writing the book? Yes, very much. Sometimes ideas come to me in a flash–almost the whole plot spinning out in my head–but more usually it begins with some small thing and grows and changes over months, even years, until I finally think, “I believe there’s a book in all this.”
Since you haven’t finished reading “Jade Green,” I can only tell you that I got the idea for it from a movie I saw twenty years or so ago, titled, I believe, “The Hand.”
Other books of mine you might enjoy, at age 12, are “Faith, Hope and Ivy June,” “Reluctantly Alice,” and “Night Cry,” among others.
Posted on: November 18, 2010
Question:
i have a question and you might find kinda stupid
but i really dont have anyone else to go to so here my story
okay so over summer i was really bored and went on this chat site or watrever
and meet this guy he was like 17 years old, and he also thought i was 17 and
we starting calling each other, n later on it become like a “bf, gf.” long distance relationship
but then i was really starting to like him and so was he and so i told him the truth about my age
that i was 14 and of course he was like oh dont worry i wont leave jsut cause of that i still “love” you and all
i guess it was going fine for a couple weeks, then i started getting the feeling of ingorance and it kinda got me mad
okay maybe he needed his space or watever n i did gave that to him…sorta… so then what happen i create a fake proflie on facebook
and added him and he kept talking to this girl kinda the same as me but not really and like ya he did admit to her or really me that he was
single, and then i message him saying oh thats me n i dont want to talk to you again so then lets say a month passes by i message him he messages me for a
very short amount of time but withen that amount he said he still “loves me” and like i want to believe it but i dont and what gets me that i shouldnt be likeing
or eveing “loving” cause he like 300miles away from me and like i do know it not some creep we ,send videos ( nothing sexual just a simple a how are you, i miss you kinda video) before n i also got to talk to his little sister and his lil 3 year brother and i dont know maybe the question is how do i move on from this, it kinda of hard for me sence he wont responde to any of my messages,
Phyllis replied:
It’s possible, but not very probable, to fall in love with someone you meet in a chat room. What you’re really falling for are the messages, the fact that somebody is talking to you, showing an interest in you, saying loving thoughts, and you are building up an image of this person that may or may not be true. Let’s face it: if he was falling for you, he was falling in love with a fake girl, right? Age 14, not 17. And then this 14 year old girl tricks him into responding to another profile, and finds out that, once again, she’s not who he thought she was. It’s sort of understandable, isn’t it, that he’s not responding to your messages? I’m afraid that’s the real answer here. He’s moved on. It’s really time that you do too. It’s easy, I know, to sit at your computer and “date” someone, but it’s not the same as relating to people in person, and that’s really, truly, what you should be do at your age.
Posted on: November 18, 2010
Question:
Hey! Just about 2 weeks ago my friend had bought the I Like Him, He Likes Her book and she gave it to me to read because i needed a book. I COMPLETELY FELL IN LOVE WITH IT!!!!! I just finished it today, and i was wondering, should i read the Alice books that came out before the I Like Him, He Likes Her book? and i noticed there was also a movie and i was wondering if i should read Upside down Alice before seeing the movie
Phyllis replied:
If you liked “I Like Him, He Likes Her,” you’ll love “It’s Not Like I Planned It This Way,” the collection of Alice’s books in her sophomore year–already out–and “Please Don’t be True”–a collection of the three books of her junior year, coming next. You’d really enjoy all the Alice books that came before. If you want to go waaaaay back, read “Starting With Alice,” in which she is in third grade. You’ll love reading about Lester as a teenager. The movie, “Alice Upside Down,” is loosely based on “The Agony of Alice,” when she enters the sixth grade.
Posted on: November 17, 2010
| Question: |
Hi, I just want to say how much I really loved reading your Alice series! It is really realistic and wonderful! My friends and I first discovered your Alice series in our school library but unfortunately, they were quite limited. The furthest book in the series we could read was “the grooming of Alice” .Morever, the school’s collection lacked a lot of books before “the grooming of alice”. We would have bought the other books had they been available in the bookstores but since most (nearly all) of the other books found there are either really really really popular best-sellers, we could not find your books at all…. Also, the bookstore can’t special order your books. We are also in no position to buy your books online…. On behalf of all my friends and myself, I would like to ask you what happened to Alicce and the other characters (since we can’t get the books and sadly can’t read them). However, whatever you decide, we’ll tell you once again: we really liked reading Alice!
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Phyllis replied:
I know it’s difficult to find all the Alice books, but I can’t imagine any bookstore that wouldn’t special order a book for you. Of course, you must pay in advance, which means you probably need to go to the store and do this; if you can’t afford to buy a book, you can ask your public library to get the book you want on inter-library loan. And this does take a while. If you decide you don’t want to do either of these, all you really want to know is what happens to the characters in all the other books, then go to your computer, look each book up on Amazon.com, and read the reviews.
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Posted on: November 17, 2010
Question:
If you don’t mind me asking how did you come up with the Alice Books idea? Did it pop in to your head in a random place at a random time or did you sit at a desk every morning until it came into your head & onto the paper?
Phyllis replied:
I had been thinking about writing a novel about a young motherless girl who is looking for a role model. But after “The Agony of Alice” was published, so many readers wanted more, and reviewers suggested I write more, that I began to think about a series. I told my editor I would write one if Alice could grow a little older in each book, so I wouldn’t be stuck in a sit-com, and she agreed.
Posted on: November 7, 2010
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