Your Questions Answered

21 Year-old College Senior

Question:

I’m a 21 year old college senior who has been reading Alice for the past 12 years. When I woke up this morning, contemplating what to do today, I realized it was June 2nd, and that meant I could go pick up the new book!

I was so, so pleased with this latest installment. Honestly, in the past 5 years, some of the books have left me disappointed. I thought that some of the language was unrealistic for Alice’s age group, and that sometimes the books didn’t hold up on their own, but only as part of the series, for readers who wanted to know what was going to happen next in her life. This was absolutely not the case with Intensely Alice, and I loved every minute of this book. It was real, and sad, and the ways that Alice changed and experienced life were wonderful to read. I loved the religion dialogue in particular, and I am glad that you write books for teens that are so honest and real. They need authors like you.

Phyllis replied:

I appreciate your letter so much. It’s wonderful for both me and younger readers to know that you can go on enjoying the Alice books as long as you like. It’s quite understandable that some books appeal more than others, and I don’t expect every reader to love them all. But I am pleased that you feel the books, this one anyway, are honest and real. I do try hard to keep them that way.

Posted on: June 4, 2009

I Cried

Question:

Hi, Ms. Naylor,

I just wanted to say thank you for another unbelievable addition to the Alice series. I just finished the book, and I, like earlier posters, cried at the saddest parts. A friend of mine from school was seriously injured in a football accident at the beginning of the school year, and I felt many of the same sentiments as Alice did in the story when we weren’t sure how long he would survive. Like David wrote to Alice in the end of the story, however, “astonishing things can happen to those who hope.” My friend’s family is very religious, and although my family is not as devout as them, we were all hoping for a common goal: his speedy recovery. He has made outstanding progress in the past few months. Thank you for putting my feelings into words.

I also loved the moments between Alice, Pam, Elizabeth, and Gwen. They are so supportive and accepting of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and I love to see their friendship develop and change through time.

Phyllis replied:

I’m happy that the story described your own feelings. When I write, I’m so much a part of each character that I’m not sure how readers will react, but I’m glad that the responses have been so positive.

Posted on: June 4, 2009

Do You Think I Should Tell Him?

Question:hello well i have a question to ask. i really like this guy so much and i dont know if i should tell him because we both are in band so we spend so much time together and i dont want it to be all akward between us because we are barely starting to talk a lot. im also scared that if we go out and we end up breaking up that things will be like so weird kinda like it is with my ex that is also in band. do you think i should tell him how i truely feel or should i just keep quiet and be really good friends an hope that he feels the same way about me and hopefully asks me out..?

Phyllis replied:

For those of you who have been following this fan mail page for a long time, you probably know by now that my answer is almost always, “Show, don’t tell.” What I mean is, what would you hope to accomplish by saying, “Do you know that I really, really like you?” You’ll put him on the spot, and that will really, really make him uncomfortable. If he ever tells you he likes you and asks how you feel about him, then of course you tell him. Surely you girls know how to flirt, don’t you? You smile, you laugh, you find excuses to sit near him, you might give him a funny card or present. And if he jokingly asks you why you’re being so nice to him, you can honestly say, “Because I like you!” Please girls, you have to give a guy a little warning before you come out with an expression that makes him feel he’s required to give the right answer back. If you show him in a lot of ways that he’s special, he should get the message. And then, if he responds, you’ll know what to do next.

Posted on: June 4, 2009

I Need Someone to Talk To

Question:

I wrote to you about a year ago needing big advice. I am the girl who was in boarding school at the time and was involved with the much older girl and didn’t want to be. I dont know if you remember, but thankyou so much for giving me the advice you gave me. I wasnt able to thank you before im sorry. I tryed taking your advice but I wasn’t strong enough to break away on my own. Everytime I tryed it would turn into a bigger mess of complication. I have realized now through counseling that she manipulated me very badly and used my emotions and abused them. I eventually was asked to leave the school because of the situation, and my parents picked me up, they found out about everything and I wanted my life to be over. I was in a bad deppression state for months and didn’t care what happened to me. I was in so much pain from guilt, I was so ashamed, and I missed my friends. I was not allowed to talk to any of them because my parents did not trust me at all.

I was eventually put into counseling by my parents, even though I refused. Everyone kept telling me I was taken advantage of and that I shouldn’t blame myself, even though I did. I felt dirty and a horrible person. When my parents looked at me I just knew what they were thinking, that I was a gross person. I still feel that way sometimes. I did charter school, staying at home and doing my school work and graduated a year and a half early. I havnt talked to this person since last year. Im not really sure how they feel about me. As you can tell I feel uncomfortable using the pronoun she.

I am dealing with my depression better though. I dont cry almost everyday like I used. I have started to read the bible and get focused on God but it is hard sometimes. If you have any advice on anything I told you please tell me. I need someone to talk to about all of this. Thankyou Mrs. Naylor for reading my letter and thankyou for taking the time to answer everyone who needs you, because we do.

Phyllis replied:

I do remember you, though I don’t remember every detail. In answering, however, I should tell you that I have completely different views of homosexual and lesbian activities than either your church or your parents. To me, it does not matter one bit. I believe that most people who are homosexual or lesbian are born this way. I also think that many young people, in growing up, have questions about their own sexuality, and they sometimes engage in kissing and fondling those of the same sex out of curiosity or excitement. Some people are bi-sexual and can go either way. I simply do not care. Your sexual identity is one small part of the person who makes up you. I do not think you are sinful or gross, but I do think you’ve had a whole lot of guilt heaped upon you. My advice: hold up your head and get on with your life. Even if others at college find out about this episode in your life, they will tend to view it as you do. If you cringe and lower your eyes and treat yourself as trash, they’ll start to view you in the same way. So you had a bad time of it at your private school. So you got involved in sexual play with an older girl who manipulated you. So maybe you enjoyed it, I forget the details. I simply don’t care what you did then; I care about how you feel about yourself now. If anyone at college asks, say, “Yeah, I did have a rough time of it for a while, but that’s past and I’m really looking forward to the new semester.”

Posted on: June 2, 2009

Fan Mail From Boys?

Question:

Thanks for answering all those questions! I was wondering is there an expert for intensly Alice yet? Can you tell me a little bit about intensly Alice! Does someone really die? And some people say that Pamela is still pregnet is that true? I thought she had a miscarrige! Is this the sadest Alice book you have written? Sorry if there is so many questions I hope you can answer them! Ok I just read it over that seems like so many questions looks like I am a stalker almost! But I am not I promise! You are the best ever sorry but one more question wait actully two. Can you tell me the date when intensly alice comes out? Just out of curiosty do you ever get fan mail from boys?

Phyllis replied:

Yes, I do get fan mail from boys. Not all of them want me to post it, and many of their letters arrive by regular mail. The only letters that appear on this website are those that come by email. Intensely Alice is now in many bookstores, and you will be able to answer most of your questions after you read it. I won’t say it’s the saddest book I ever wrote, but yes, parts of it are very sad.

Posted on: June 2, 2009

I Cried So Much….

Question:

I just finished Intensely Alice and I wanted you to know it was wonderful. It is my new favorite in the series (for the longest time my favorite was Patiently Alice) and I am already thinking about re-reading it! My mom calls dibs on it next though, she enjoys your books as much as I do! I am a 21 year old college student, and I have practically grown up with Alice! We went through a lot of things at the exact same time, and I love being able to relate to things that happen in your stories (:
I cried so much at the end of this story. I figured that someone would die, but I had NO idea it would be…. Oh, and I was so glad to have more Keeno in your story! He’s been my favorite character for awhile, and it was great to learn more about him!Okay I’ll stop babbling now, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your books! I can’t wait until next May/June to read the next Alice book!!

Phyllis replied:

I omitted a line from your letter so as not to give too much away, but I cried a lot when I wrote this book, and I still do when I read a certain chapter. But…that’s life, isn’t it? I’m delighted that you enjoy the Alice books so much and that your mom does as well. It’s wonderful that you can share them together.

Posted on: June 2, 2009

Afraid to Walk Around Anywhere!

Question:

I just want to put the word out there that i truly do not believe safety in numbers. Every one says that it is better going places with at least one friend. If that was true then i shouldn’t of gotten burnt by some crazy lady today. Me and my friend were talking and this lady put a cigarette out ON MY ARM. Now I am afraid of walking around anywhere with or with out a buddy.

Phyllis replied:

I hope you yelled. I hope she apologized. I hope she is more careful in the future. But please don’t let it stop you from going outside. It’s true that when you get distracted by a friend, you can pay less attention to what’s going on around you. But it’s also true that someone might take advantage of you if you’re by yourself. Unfortunate things are going to happen to you from time to time even if you stay home with the covers pulled up over your head. Don’t let it change your whole life.

Posted on: May 31, 2009

Writing Tips

Question:

I fell in love with the Alice books at a young age. I could not put them down, I am dying to read and own all of them. I love it when Patrick and Alice are togeher, I thought that Sam was way too overprotective. I love it that throughout everything Alice, Pamela, and Elizabeth can make it through. I have not read the last two books so I don’t know If they will still be friends. I would like to be an author myself, but I can never seem to finish a book I start. Do you have any tips for me?

Phyllis replied:

I’ve written whole books about writing, so there are tips galore. Please look up How I Came to be a Writer or The Craft of Writing a Novel. Also, look up FAQ on this website. Best of luck in your own writing!

Posted on: May 31, 2009

Never Stop Making Them!

Question:

I loooove your books!!!!!!!!! I hope you never stop making them. I just got intensely Alice, and I can’t wait to read it. I have read allll of the alice books. Thank you for making books I can relate to.

Phyllis replied:

I hope you love Intensely Alice as much as you’ve loved the others. Thanks for writing!

Posted on: May 31, 2009

I’m Really Mixed Up

Question:

Hi again Phyllis. I’m the one who wrote you yesterday about my first break up. Thanks for you advice, it made me feel a lot better. It’s just that right now I’m really mixed up. My mom is not being helpful at all. In order to get my mind off of —–, I’ve recently called a couple of my good friends that I haven’t talked to in a while and am hanging out with them to sort of relax my mind and forget about the break up. I told my mom I was going to hang out with one of my old friends, and she’s like “I know you’re only calling up these other girls so you’ll have more people to complain to. You need to stop broadcasting your problems to every single friend of yours and move on.” That’s not true at all! I just want to see some old friends so I can get OVER the break up and forget about it for a while. And my mom keeps saying that I just need to get over it, and she was all, “You think your situation is bad? When I was in high school, my first real boyfriend and I were together for almost a year and then I caught him making out with another girl. Imagine how I felt, and you’re crying over a situation that isn’t even bad.” It’s hard enough losing my first real boyfriend, and now my mom’s making me feel guilty about feeling sad. And she keeps telling me to stop acting desperate. It’s making this whole thing worse. But I do understand what you mean about his mom, and he and I actually did have sex. I had lost my virginity long before him, but his first time was with me. But we were always very careful and always used condoms and BC pills to ensure that pregnancy wouldn’t be a problem, and it wasn’t. My friend says that the break up might be even harder on him since he lost his virginity to me. But this whole thing is just a mess and I’m very confused and now my mom’s just adding more guilt to the whole thing, as if it isn’t hard enough.

Phyllis replied:

It may not be the mess you feel it to be. The whole thing seems perfectly natural to me. Feelings are complicated, that’s for sure, and your mom’s not helping any. Perhaps she feels that if you can’t “get over this and move on” when the break-up was more or less mutual, will you be strong enough to stand it when you face a situation like she faced when she was young? Accept the fact that for whatever reason, she can’t seem to empathize with you right now, so don’t put her in that position. But I’m a strong believer in sharing one’s problems, and if your girlfriends will listen and offer comfort, that’s great. Meanwhile, you’re doing things with them, going places, and that helps you gently back into the wider world. Who knows if the breakup is harder on him than on you, but having his first sexual experience with you may or may not affect that. Don’t add that to your mix of worries. Stick with your plan of sending him a friendly email in a month or so. When your mom sees that you are getting involved in activities with your girlfriends, maybe she’ll get off your case.

Posted on: May 31, 2009