Your Questions Answered

I Don’t Want to Stay in Homeschool!

Question:

Hi again! I e-mailed you about a week ago about my thing of being scared all the time? I just wanted to say that I have been trying what you’ve suggested, and though it’s gotten a little better, it’s still not a hundred percent effective. Plus I’m really bad at coming up with stuff on the spot, so I still can’t go into the basement without being scared, but the Chucky thing is going fine. I also wanted to say I can’t really remember when it started, but I’m sure I haven’t done anything bad recently that I’ve been punishing myself for, but I’m going to keep thinking back, I really don’t want to keep up like this.
 But anyway, this e-mail is about a different problem I’m having! :/ I’ve been homeschooled all my life, and this year, I’m really excited because I’m really intent on going to public school for 8th grade. My first reason is just because I REALLY want to go, and the second is because homeschooling isn’t really effective for me. My teacher says I’ve potential as a student, and I try and work my hardest, but my dad who’s supposed to be my home instrructor is always really busy, thus this past semester I’ve been pretty much doing all the lessons and stuff myself, which is not how homeschooling is supposed to be, and it’s just so difficult! Anyway, so yesterday, the form from my school showed up with the withdrawal form that my dad is supposed to sign if I’m not going to be continuing with the homeschooling program next semester, and I told him what it was and that he had to sign it and then write down the school I want to go to so that the homeschool can fax over my documents, and he said “Who said anything about a withdrawal?” and I’m serious my heart almost stopped! Mrs. Naylor, I really don’t want to stay in homeschool any longer! I don’t feel normal being stuck at home all day, teaching myself stuff, and not being able to really get any assistance from my teacher, because the school is in another city! I want to go on field trips and go to dances, but I’m really afraid my dad is seriously not going to let me anymore, even though I thought we’d agreed on it at some point. He’s always been really difficult about school, but how do I convince him that this isn’t about him? That going to school is something I really, really want and that it’s important to me?  

Phyllis replied:

Since I’ve not had any experience with homeschool, I’m not sure I can advise you.  I’m hoping that if there are teachers or librarians reading this email, they might be able to offer some comments or suggestions.   I don’t know your family, so don’t know if there is a mother in the picture, nor do I know your dad’s thinking in placing you in homeschool in the first place.  You mention a teacher, but she is not close by?  Here’s what I’m thinking: I believe that homeschooled students are tested periodically to see how they match up with those in public schools.  If your grades are below the standard, or just so-so, I would use this as my argument for enrolling in public school.  Don’t belittle your Dad’s help–he may already be feeling guilty because he’s not spending enough time with you.  I would put my request, calmly, in terms of wanting to bring up your grades and to expand your education with field trips and in class discussions.  If your dad thinks you just want to go to public school to have lots of friends and do fun things–even though this is a perfectly legitimate wish–he’ll be less likely to sign the paper.  While I know that many homeschooled students do excellent work and have many social opportunities for extra curricular stuff, a question in my own mind would be to what extent homeschooled students are exposed to different points of view?  To wonderful teachers and not so wonderful?  To fair practices and not-so-fair?  In other words, to the real world, so that when they go out into the job market, they know better how to get along with those of different beliefs, work ethics, and all the rest that make up humanity.  But this may not be a good argument to use for your dad, because it’s possible you are in home schooling to shield you from other points of view.  I just don’t know.  I would also suggest that you put your feelings and your  reasons in a letter to your dad and leave it on his pillow. I get the feeling from your email that he may be a man who makes quick decisions, and this would give him a chance to think about it before he issues a quick “no.”   Later, when he discusses this with you, which I hope he will do, listen carefully to his own reasons so that you are really communicating with each other.  Regarding the scary thoughts: keep turning a scary scene into something funny.  You know how you get rid of a tune that plays over and over in your head by substituting another song?  The same should work here.

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I want to get over this so bad!

Question:

Hi. I really love your Alice books. They’re the best ever! Anyway, you obviously know lots of everything, so I was wondering if you could help me with something. I’m fourteen now, and I’ve never really had nightmares or anything, but lately I’ve been just scared all over the place and on overdrive. Like, I’ve watched dozens of horror movies over the years, but none recently, I’ve made sure. And I mean, I thought that was the way to stop freaking out and to not have nightmares, but the past few months now I can’t even go into the house’s basement without seeing Mike Myers from Halloween. I can’t go into the dining room without making sure the back door is locked, because I’m afraid a killer or someone will burst through it. If it’s evening and I see the front door is unlocked, my heart starts beating really fast when I go to close it. Sometimes I can’t sleep at the edge of my bed, because I’m afraid someone will break in the window. Writing this right now, I’m feeling really scared. I mean… I’m really just worried. I want to get over it so bad. I can’t even look at a doll without thinking Chucky, or something else horrible. What do you think? I want to get over this so bad!

Phyllis replied:

I’m trying to think of something that might help here.  You said that it used to be that horror movies didn’t bother you, and you haven’t watched any recently, but that “lately” you’re scaring yourself silly.  Can you think back to when these “lately” ones first began?  Can you connect it to anything at all?  First thought that comes to mind?  If making the connection to something doesn’t solve it–not to get too psychological here–is it at all possible you are feeling guilty about something and this is the way you’re punishing yourself–by thinking up all the scary things that could happen to you?  I could also ask “why are you so intent on scaring yourself?”  Whatever, try getting control of your imagination this way.  Start out by imagining Chuckie-what’s-his-name crawling through the window.  And just as his foot touches the floor, he slips on a skate board, flies across the room, turns upside down, and the skateboard hits him on top of the head.  Whereupon you stand over him and order him out of the room and he can’t wait to leave.  Do this over and over, the creepiest scenes you can imagine, and turn them into a ridiculous comedy.  It’s worth a try.

WHEN WILL THE EXCERPT BE AVAILABLE???

Question:

i’ve been waiting a long time to read the excerp  from Intensly Alice.  when will it be ready?

Phyllis replied:

It’s here!  From the home page of this website, click on “Books in order.”  Go the bottom of the list and find “Intensely Alice.”  Under that you will find “Read excerpt.”  Click, and enjoy the first chapter.

Please Help!

HOW CAN I RAISE MY CONFIDENCE?

Question:

I’ve been writing stories since I was five-years old. Since I was fourteen-years old, I have been entering writing contests, and I’ve had two short stories published so far. I’m sixteen now, and recently I entered my third writing contest. This time, though, my story didn’t win anything, and since I’ve had such luck with writing contests in the past, I’ve been feeling really down about it. I have a fairly low self-esteem, and writing was pretty much the only thing that I was confident about. I realize that if I want to keep writing in the future, I need to get used to rejection, but it still hurts. I was wondering, when you first tried publishing your work and got turned down, how did you deal with it? How can I raise up my confidence in myself and in my writing again?

Phyllis replied:

Welcome to the world of writers, and congratulations on the publication of your first two stories!  You are luckier than most.  I had my start writing stories for church magazines for children and teenagers (you can find a list of them, I believe, in the April issue of The Writer magazine–ask for it at your library).  Though many more were rejected than accepted, I found editors very helpful, and many suggested changes I could make so that they would be accepted.  I rarely wrote about religious subjects–mostly stories about personal or social problems.  It may be a good thing you have experienced a rejection, because one of my editors used to say that an author can “peak too soon”–get so used to acceptances that rejections throw him for a loop.  Most writers get enough rejection slips to paper their bathroom walls, and some actually do.  My secretary once counted up all the rejection slips I’d received in my lifetime (I keep track of sales and rejections in 3 big journal books), and the last time I checked, it was 10342 rejections.  You’ve only got 2!   Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!